Magpie Miscellany Part 11

The Southall Catastrophe

Transport to an away match does not always go to plan. Any mention of a trip to Torquay will lead to a reminder of the evening match a few years ago when heavy traffic prevented the coach arriving before 8 pm with a 4-1 defeat ensuing. About 20 years ago those sitting on the coach returning from Heybridge were disturbed to see one of the wheels rolling past, which led to a long wait on the hard shoulder for a replacement vehicle with thankfully no one hurt.

Way back in 1898, a Southern League match at Southall, led to a similar tale for the ages. The outward journey was without incident but the “intense heat” led Captain (and Secretary) Stiv Gibbons to decide he would not play and a replacement was found from the Reserves. Maidenhead won the toss and kicked off with the sun at their backs at 4:30 pm before “a large attendance”.

Southall had won both of their opening league matches and, after a combative start, took the lead through Hobson. Maidenhead equalised with a penalty from Edwards after Collyer had been tripped by Reed. The score remained level at half time. 

Just after the hour mark, Hobson scored twice to complete his hat trick. Alf Walton pulled one back but despite a “more skilful exhibition than their heavy opponents”, Maidenhead were to return home empty handed. 

The late finish and the imminent departure of the next train meant everyone was keen to get back to the station as soon as possible as “Southall is not a desirable place to spend an hour… scarcely inviting and possessing no charm for outsiders”.

With the sun still “blazing” there was no desire to walk the mile back to the station. There was a cab at the football ground but this had already been hired. The remaining four Maidenhead players, and referee Mr Scroggs were spotted by a “genial coster” (someone who sold goods from a cart on the street) who saw a chance to “earn a few honest sixpences”. So he offered to drive the five to the station for a tanner (sixpence)  a head. They eagerly jumped on the cart. “The pony was a goer and away the quintette sailed down the street in the seventh heaven of delight”.

They soon passed club mate Walton who accepted the invitation to jump aboard. Unfortunately this proved to be “the final straw. Without warning snap went both of the shafts and up flew the cart”.

The driver was left “clinging to reins and pulling his nag almost on its haunches, while one end of the barrow was in mid air” with the four passengers flying out of it, “landing in and amongst fruit baskets, while apples, pears, nuts and oranges flew about the roadway”.

“Lowman slid gracefully down the chute head first into a basket, legs well up. Walton, having the shortest distance to fall, was soon on his legs and he at once ran to the nag’s head to prevent it from bolting. Meanwhile, Referee Scroggs and the others sorted themselves out from among the fruit and baskets and bags. They had assumed most grotesque postures, men, bags, baskets and fruit being almost inextricably mixed up. Meanwhile, to complete the picture some lively boys improved the occasion by pocketing nuts and apples, making off when the coster regained his equilibrium”.

Fortunately no one was hurt seriously, so whilst the coster tidied up, “his erstwhile passengers hurried to the station on foot, scarcely able to restrain their hilarity”.  They did have a whip round for the coster to help him pay for any damage or loss. 

What quickly became known as the catastrophe was the “principal topic of conversation among Maidenhead footballers” for the next week with local artist Archibald Smith capturing the incident for posterity, which was made available to buy as a print from Queen Street photographer Bert Richardson.

 Sources:

One for Sorrow, Two for Joy, Mark Smith, 2011

Maidenhead Advertiser