AN ALTOGETHER MORE SPLENDID KIND OF LIFE - 2006-07

23 Seasons watching Maidenhead United

Part 13: 2006-07

If the previous campaign was the worst of Magpie times then this one was the best of Magpie times, indeed you could distil this series down to a Tale of Two Seasons.

Despite relegation, the new Pharmalink regime decided to keep faith with manager Carl Taylor, which was repaid when he recruited well, signing proven talent in Dominic Sterling and Dwain Clarke as well as promising youngsters Ashley Smith, Danny Burnell, Richard Witt and Mark Nisbet.

United were returning to the Southern League for the first time since the nineteenth century. It had evolved into a division broadly spanning the strip of England from the wash to the Bristol Channel and thus offered a season’s worth of trips to hitherto unknown clubs.

This middle England journey began with a trip to Gloucester City in a match which summed up Taylor’s spell in charge, Beginning impressively the Magpies looked good value for their lead from a Clarke strike only to lose to two late City goals. Five draws followed before the first win came at Halesowen. A replay was required to beat Hellenic League Carterton in the FA Cup and then disaster struck when lowly Clevedon came to York Road and left 5-0 winners.

The inability to consistently realise the considerable potential of his team finally saw Taylor pay the price, as Chairman Una Loughrey elected to dispense with his services following the big defeat. With no ready made placement, Richie Goddard (pictured right) again took the caretaker role, making a great impact by winning all four of his games in charge. Most memorably this included a win at Stamford on Apple Day, his team talk advising that if the team make their opponents turnover they would crumble in the box. Most importantly he also made progress in the FA Cup, John Dreyer returning to assist him lead the team to a tight win at East Thurrock.

A strong field of experienced candidates emerged for the manager’s post including the likes of Craig Edwards, Gordon Bartlett and Alan Devonshire. Eventually the board plumped for Johnson “Drax” Hippolyte who had had great success in his first post at Yeading.

He arrived in time to beat Dover in the Trophy, before a fourth and final FA Cup qualifying tie at York Road against Southern League Premier Division rivals Merthyr Tydfil. The Welshmen were unbeaten in the league and brought a raucous following to Berkshire. In an electric atmosphere, Maidenhead edged home thanks to a Lee Newman goal (pictured celebrating right), despite finishing with ten men.

This meant Maidenhead were in the FA Cup First Round for the first time for a generation. The post match draw may have only produced a trip to Conference Stafford Rangers but the all new experience of being in the public eye saw 176 fans make the trip north.

The home side took an early lead, and a Craig O’Connor red card left little to hope for as the second half kicked off but a headed equaliser from new signing Dwane Lee (pictured top), got United back into the game. All seemed lost though when captain Sterling joined O’Connor in the dressing room for a professional foul only for Chico Ramos to save the resulting penalty and earn a player of the round nomination. The Magpies managed to hold on for a replay, with the ten day run up to the second match allowing Cup fever to take hold in the town.

On an unforgettable night two thousand fans flocked to York Road as Stafford again took an early lead but an O’Connor missed penalty meant this time there was no way back for United, so it was Stafford who travelled to Brighton in the second round. Nevertheless the tie had revealed the club’s potential if the latent local support base could be mobilised. Reality hit a few weeks later when only 52 turned up York Road to watch a League Cup defeat against Thatcham, as an FA Cup hangover hit league form.

For my part I was weary after two years of bearing witness to all the turbulence on and off the pitch and indicated I would stand down from my duties at the end of the season. Imagine my surprise when I was asked to become a director, an honour I proudly accepted.

Meanwhile  two defeats in five days to bottom club Corby saw the Magpies plummet to 17th in the table. Drax had brought with him some of Yeading’s finest talent in the form of Errol Telemaque, Bobby Behzadi, Darti Brown and David Clarke but as yet they hadn’t been blended successfully into the current squad.

It all began to click on a chilly night at Adams Park at the end of February with a 1-0 County Cup win against Wycombe. This started a run of nine consecutive wins. The number of clubs serious about promotion was minimal but included some non league big guns in the shape of Bath City and King’s Lynn as well as the professionally funded Bath University team.

Helped by the arrival of classy centre back Grant Cooper, the team really sensed an opportunity for a late run to the playoffs, and despite back to back defeats to the Bath clubs, the momentum returned with two more wins.

Both the final two matches would be played against Banbury United, the first on a Thursday night was won to set up the final day visit to the Spencer Stadium knowing that another win would secure a playoff berth. Three points were duly delivered for a final finish of fourth and a play off semi final trip to Norfolk.

In front of a partisan four figure crowd at the impressive Walks stadium, Maidenhead played out of their skin to firstly deny a rampant King’s Lynn, and then defend a second half lead provided by an exquisite finish from the edge of the penalty area by Mark Nisbet (pictured left celebrating at the final whistle).

It was scarcely believable but within the course of less than a week, Maidenhead had moved into the play offs and were now one match from promotion. A surreal evening ended as I conducted an interview with BBC Radio Berkshire around midnight on the lonely last train back to London.

Team Bath were waiting in the final at Twerton Park, with the Magpies benefiting from the black and white striped landlords having little time for their tenants, and turning out to support the away team.

I had been invited to act as summariser for the BBC Radio Berkshire commentary. Never have I concentrated so much watching a Maidenhead match, doubly tense at the size of the prize on offer as well as not wanting to make a mistake. There was nothing to split the teams apart from a Telemaque goal (pictured right) within seconds of the start of the second half. It was the fifteenth win in seventeen outings, a truly fantastic run of form to return the Magpies to the Conference South at the first attempt.

There was still a County Cup Final to contest two days later, but a 2-1 defeat to Milton Keynes Dons mattered little as the promotion prize continued to burn bright.Thus concluded a breathtaking season with the FA Cup run and league success at last taking the focus away from the revolving managers door. A season summed up when, as the final whistle blew to signal promotion at Twerton Park, Chico Ramos collapsed with exhaustion, John Urry rushing on to the pitch to cloak him with a towel James Brown style. Looking on I couldn’t help but whistle I Feel Good.

With thanks to Mark Smith’s book One For Sorrow Two For Joy for the statistical content of this series.

Peter Griffin, Una Loughrey & Drax pictured after promotion at Bath

AN ALTOGETHER MORE SPLENDID KIND OF LIFE - 2004-05

23 Seasons watching Maidenhead United

Part 11: 2004-05

It was bliss to be present at the dawn of the new Conference South era, as in a pleasing contrast to his first campaign at the club, John Dreyer’s team started the season in style.

On a beautiful sunny day at Park View Road, Maidenhead beat Welling 2-1 in a tightly contested match thanks to goals from the new strike partnership of Lawrence Yaku and summer signing Craig O’Connor.

By the end of August, United’s points total had already reached double figures giving rise to optimism that life at a higher level suited the Magpies.

As well as O’Connor, Dreyer had further augmented his squad with new blood by signing wingers Barrie Matthews and Jamie Cook, whilst young talents Chris Elsegood and Rod Saunders returned to York Road after a one year sabbatical.

Following the departure of Phil Wilson though, the key position of goalkeeper remained unfilled, with the replacement of the fragile Nick Hart with the hapless Michael Watkins leading to an appalling run of league form which led to Dreyer’s dismissal in November.

After a run of six matches without a win which spanned the length of September, morale was boosted with an FA Cup run. A tortuous three and a half hours of football against Kent League Whitstable was ended by a penalty shoot out in Maidenhead’s favour which set up a cracking local derby in the next round at York Road against Windsor and Eton.

The Magpies edged the tie by the odd goal in three to set up a final qualifying round match at old foes Aldershot Town. League form had not improved in the meantime, leading to a move to dismiss Dreyer in the lead up to the Cup tie which was halted when his team won three points for the first time in nine attempts, beating big spending Havant and Waterlooville at York Road thanks to a goal from the mercurial Cook (pictured right), on a memorable night for captain Brian Connor as he marked former Premier League star Dean Holdsworth out of the game.

United’s 33 year quest to return to the rounds proper of the FA Cup remained unfulfilled in a honourable failure at the Recreation Ground when Conference Aldershot won 2-1, any disappointment salved when the post match draw sent the Shots to Canvey Island.

Whilst the goalkeeper role now looked a little more solid thanks to the arrival of Australian Andy Goldman, the defence in front of him was weakened when Andy Jennings decided to leave following a head injury which led him to decide to focus on his teaching career at Eton, fearing the impact of a serious injury on his working life. His presence in the team over the last year or so was accompanied by the regular attendance at home matches of a group of his students who became known as The Eton Rifles (pictured top). I often wonder what became of them when they turned into Old Etonians, and whether a captain of industry or financial wizard might return to York Road to help ease Peter Griffin’s financial burden.

The world of work also had a detrimental impact on the Magpies attacking options as a promotion for London Underground’s Lawrence Yaku made it difficult for him tomake a timely arrival on matchdays.

None of this helped league form, and following heavy defeats at home to Cambridge and away to Grays, Chairman Jon Swan elected to dispense with the manager’s services. Sadly this was handled in a hamfisted way with Dreyer travelling to the next midweek match unaware of his fate, turning up to a County Cup tie at home to Burnham only to be ushered into the boardroom to be told he had the evening off. This was an unseemly way to dismiss the gentlemanly Dreyer, probably the friendliest manager I have encountered in my time at the club. Some said this meant he was too nice to succeed, so it was with some pride that I looked on at Wembley in 2015, as he stood on the touchline as assistant to Simon Grayson when Preston North End won the League One play off final.

Richie Goddard was on hand to step in as caretaker manager whilst a replacement for Dreyer was sought. Swan planned to entice Wealdstone’s Gordon Bartlett to take over, but after some thought Bartlett elected to stay with the Stones. With crowds plummeting below the 150 mark, the eventual appointment was the somewhat surprising figure of Windsor manager Dennis Greene.

Unlike Dreyer, Greene was not shy of asserting himself either in the local press or at the club. Bringing defender Lee Kersey and midfielder Guy Ekwalla with him up the A308, he immediately set about taking the by now bottom placed Magpies up the table with a six match unbeaten league run which included a 1-0 win at top placed Basingstoke.

A more important relationship was formed at this time when two local entrepreneurs knocked on the boardroom door and enquired whether the club might like some financial assistance. Peter Griffin and Stephen Loughrey agreed to a lucrative shirt sponsorship for the following season between the club and their Pharmalink business. As the saying goes it proved to be the start of a beautiful friendship!

On the pitch another Australian in Reading’s Adam Federici solved the goalkeeping problem for the rest of the season, his clean sheet in a 4-0 over fellow strugglers Carshalton at York Road in mid February suggesting the relegation battle might be a successful one. This failed to be a springboard to further wins although an outstanding smash and grab raid at promotion chasing Cambridge City in March thanks to a Lewis Cook goal kept hopes alive.

On Easter Monday a 4-1 humbling at bottom placed Redbridge suggested the writing was on the wall, the pressure starting to show as Greene (pictured left) made some ill judged comments to a journalist which alienated supporters.

This meant virtually every match in April was win or bust. The month started well with the double completed over Welling and a first ever win at Thurrock’s Ship Lane.

Pharmalink then threw their commercial weight behind a campaign with the Maidenhead Advertiser to boost the York Road crowd for the final two crunch home matches. The people of Maidenhead responded in kind with over 500 turning up to see Lewes beaten followed by over 600 for the visit of champions Grays Athletic. A valiant performance was not enough to stop the Essex team leaving with all three points to set up another final day showdown.

This came in the form of a straight shootout at Newport County, with the winner guaranteed to escape relegation. A four figure crowd at Spytty Park saw the Exiles ease into a two goal lead thanks to Welsh international Jason Bowen, and although O’Connor pulled a goal back in the second half from the penalty spot, there only ever looked like being one winner.

The final whistle signalled that desperate sinking feeling that only relegation brings. Newport Chairman Chris Blight offered me his profound sympathy in the boardroom, whilst in the club house Friar Tuck and a Beefeater took Greene to task over his failure to keep United up.

On the return coach journey to Berkshire, treasurer Paul Carney confided the dire state of the club’s finances, confessing a step down to the Hellenic League might be a more sensible option than a return to the Isthmian.

One club had already had had enough though as the inevitable Hornchurch bubble burst, their Billericay style financial model collapsing as their larger than life benefactor Uncle Urchin disappeared with the cupboard left bare. This meant Maidenhead won the inaugural AGM Cup, accepting the offer to remain in the Conference South due to a reprieve offered by the fiscally crippled Hornchurch’s request for demotion.

Thus the season closed in a strange atmosphere at Brian Connor’s testimonial (pictured right).  Any sense of relief at living to fight another day in the Conference South being tempered by the realisation that another season of struggle was in prospect.

With thanks to Mark Smith’s book One For Sorrow Two For Joy for the statistical content of this series.

To read more about this season visit www.mufcheritage.com

AN ALTOGETHER MORE SPLENDID KIND OF LIFE - 2003-04

23 Seasons watching Maidenhead United

Part 10: 2003-04

A radical spirit ran through a season which was to be pivotal in the outlook and fortunes of Maidenhead United Football Club.

New chairman Jon Swan’s first act was to appoint player manager John Dreyer. He beat fellow central defender Paul Parker to the post, with it being felt that the latter was not quite the right fit due to his plans to bring a new squad over from his Essex base.

As it turned out this may have been a better short term option when Dreyer started pre season training with only four members of the previous season’s first team squad remained: captain Brian Connor, young defender Adam Durrant, midfielder Ryan Ashe and contracted striker Lawrence Yaku.

Richie Barnard moved to Aldershot, Matt Glynn signed for St. Albans and player of the year Andy Cook went to Hendon, whilst the rest followed Alan Devonshire to his new post at Hampton.

Off the pitch an FA Financial audit had raised some important matters which required immediate attention

On a personal note I made the decision to return to editing the programme, as well as taking over the PA and the hotline information service. This came with a place on the committee beginning my transition from terrace to boardroom.

On and off the pitch everyone was infused with a clear sense of mission driven by the  plan to create two regional divisions below the Conference for the 2004/05 season. To qualify the Magpies would need to finish in the top thirteen in the Isthmian League Premier Division as well as fulfil criteria relating to the ground and club finance.

It was the former which looking the more challenging obstacle as the team made the opening day trip to Heybridge with a starting line up listing eight debutants, with a further four on the bench including Dreyer and his assistant, Northern Ireland international, Phil Gray.

After seven league matches, the team had yet to win, but had a stylish aesthetic to their play. This was particularly marked in an early season defeat at Kettering’s impressive Rockingham Road ground, which helped to keep the faith until Harrow Borough provided their annual service of donating the first three point haul of the campaign.

This sparked a run of seven wins from the next nine league outings, helped by the reunion of Yaku with his former Northwood striker partner Steve Hale. The duo were able to capitalise on the exciting play on the left flank of full back Brendan Gallen as well as the midfield creativity of Ryan Ashe and Martyn Lee, shored up by the bulwark of Kelvin McIntosh and behind them a new central defensive pairing of Connor and Eton schoolmaster Andy Jennings.

An FA Cup thrashing at Dover didn’t shake the league form, and although the League Cup and County Cup provided no more in the way of success, it was the FA Trophy which provided the mid season highlight.

This run was almost over before it begun, as with ten minutes remaining United trailed 3-1 at lowly Swindon Supermarine but a couple of late goals forced a replay which was won 2-1. This set up a trip in the New Year to up and coming Histon. This time the Magpies won in style 3-1 to set up a home tie against Wealdstone.

The weather then intervened delaying the match until a Tuesday night in February with Stones crumbling to a rampant United performance which saw the Magpies into the last sixteen with a 5-1 win.

After some delay due to weather and a replay, a first ever trip to Yorkshire to play Halifax became the Magpies fate and on Valentine’s Day, Conference opposition were beaten for the first time in United’s history thanks to the double act of Yaku and Hale scoring in a 2-0 win.

Maidenhead’s first quarter-final appearance in a national competition since the 1930s proved to be something of an anti climax. Travelling to eventual Isthmian League Champions and FA Trophy runners up Canvey Island, the tie was over almost as soon as it begun when Andy Dugdale was penalised for a handball on the line in the second minute leaving United a goal behind and down to ten men. Canvey ran out 4-0 winners.

During the Trophy run, league points continued to be collected with the squad bolstered defensively by the twin signing from Egham of Andy Dugdale and Bryan Smith.

As the season entered its final chapter the Magpies were jockeying for position in the mid table pack.  In a bid to get the top half finish required to qualify for the Conference South Dreyer made a triple attacking signing of Ben Hammond from Hemel, Danny Bolt, and Rob Haworth (both from Sutton). The latter seeking inspiration by posting a supporter comment from the club forum labelling him a donkey on the back of the dressing room door.

Form remained patchy with a worrying trend for heavy defeats at home but three straight wins at the end of March including a crucial 2-1 victory midweek at Bedford meant there was still all to play for in April.

However just one win in six matches (thanks to a solitary Yaku strike at Hayes) led to a must win final match on May day. Fortunately the opposition were bottom markers Aylesbury United. With shades of 97 and 17, the long relegated Ducks put up something of a fight but eventually succumbed 4-2,  Yaku hitting the twenty goal mark for the season with a brace.

This left Maidenhead in a final position of twelfth and a place in the Conference South to look forward to in August. Qualification was subsequently made more comfortable when Hendon elected not to take their place fearing the financial implications of the higher division.

Maidenhead had already gambled on taking the step up by spending money to the improve squad mid season. As admirable as this ambition was, the long term consequences would be as serious as Hendon’s decision suggested.

With thanks to Mark Smith’s book One For Sorrow Two For Joy for the statistical content of this series.

To read more about this season visit www.mufcheritage.com

Mick Jones resolves culture Clash

Spot the ball

As a new town, on first reflection Crawley seems to be quite incongruous in its Sussex setting, but unlike its ugly sisters over the border in Hampshire, things have turned out rather well not just for the town but also its thriving football club.
Helped by a backdrop of early summer sunshine Broadfield stadium proved to be the ideal location for a meaningless end of season middle of the table lower division match between the hosts and Preston North End.
The short walk to the ground provoked the thought that this was the town, Basingstoke wanted to be, the approach to the stadium lined by appropriate art and accessed by a pedestrian subway which hardly evoked the dystopian terrors associated with its counterpart in Wolverhampton.

No subway army to watch out for

Being a modern football ground, cash was not accepted at the turnstile, but purchasing admission via a short walk around the main stand to the ticket kiosk was simple enough with a programme rounding up the charge to £20. This part of the stadium was the showpiece with the Blue Square Bet Premier Champions sign still proudly displayed two years after the Red Devils left non league football.

No beer in sight of the pitch

The tidy away section of the ground, catered fully for the visitors, even including a bar modeled on one of those hastily erected smoking areas which sprung up in pubs all over the country when the smoking ban came in. This clever erection allowed beer drinkers to comply with the "no alcohol in sight of the pitch" dictum whilst still remaining firmly in the ground which only served to illustrate how ridiculous this rule is, as once  I had finished my reasonably priced half litre of Carlsberg (the metric measure only serving to increase the feeling I was at a game in Europe), and with the alcohol still coursing through my veins I managed to avoid the incredible hulk like transformation into a football hooligan as the pitch came into view within a couple of short steps.

The stadium itself showed little signs of its non league past with the main stand being flanked by two terraces at either end. However the gazebo which ran the length of the opposite touchline was not obviously temporary although pretty much a bigger version of the kind I'd last seen at Truro.

Nice gazebo

As the teams warmed up I was pleasantly surprised to see former Magpie manager John Dreyer leading North End through their paces. I assumed he had followed sacked manager Graham Westley out of the door , but it was good to see he had broken his link with the Stevenage boss and had now paired up with new Preston manager Simon Grayson.

Tumble takes the warm up

The build up to the game had been so laid back it was shame it had to kick off. From the start Crawley, wearing a smart modern take on Southampton's classic 80s Patrick kit, took control with some slick passing which quickly bewildered a leaden footed Preston defence. A goal came early, Mike Jones' strike from distance bouncing unkindly over the dive of goalkeeper Thosten Stuckmann. Crawley continued to dominate and should have pressed home their superiority with at least another goal. Preston offered little in return beside hopeful long balls up to lone striker Jack King (ex Woking and Farnborough), thus as Crawley's early burst faded the game became a dull affair, worse in comparison to the non league fare I'm accustomed to, due to the faster pace.

After the break Preston's tempo saw them make inroads into the Crawley penalty area on a regular basis, and they looked capable of an equaliser, particularly when winger Lee Holmes entered the fray. Indeed Crawley were only saved by the cross bar from a King header, and Preston were denied a good claim for a penalty when a defender hauled down his man on the blind side of the referee.

Still based on the first half a draw would have flattered Preston and its clear Grayson has a lot of work to do to transform Westley's squad into a promotion chasing outfit next season. Crawley continue to progress with what will be their highest ever finish. Assuming they will build on an impressive base of 1,700 season ticket holders they could well be challenging for the play offs next season.

Glimpsing a game

2013's Essex theme continued on Saturday with a rare trip to Hornchurch. With the prospect of a game viewed from afar behind a running track this wasn't exactly something I was looking forward to, the Urchins' location in sleepy Upminster coupled with their struggle to cope with life in a higher division following promotion meant it was one that could be enjoyed.

The perils of weekend engineering works led to a lunchtime rendezvous at Liverpool St with what turned into a five a side team of Magpies as one by one we struggled across central London. In contrast a brisk train journey east followed by a short walk to the ground meant any earlier delays were inconsequential, so we wandered out onto a balcony wedged between the dressing rooms and bar behind the goal, the elevation provided meaning this was the best vantage point to watch the whole game.

Before kick off there was time to reflect on the last Saturday visit to Bridge Avenue when the previous incarnation of Hornchurch funded by what turned out to be the equivalent of magic beans, comfortably beat current Preston North End manager John Dreyer's Magpies who were battling hard to qualify for the brave new world of the Conference South. As is the custom this last away game of the season led to some United fans attending in fancy dress which created a wonderfully surreal moment when the priest (pictured bottom left) took such exception to one of the linesman's decisions that he vaulted the barrier and pursued him up and down the running track waving a bible.

Since then after a few ups and downs Maidenhead remain in the Conference South whilst Hornchurch opted within twelve months for bankruptcy and a restart in the Essex Senior League. Their climb back to this level is thus admirable under former Thurrock duo Colin McBride and Jimmy McFarlane, but its clear that like last week's opponents Billericay they may not stay very long.

The game passed remotely, watched in an Amstel induced blur, with Maidenhead eventually looking fairly comfortable in what was an open entertaining game. The man fast becoming one of non league's hottest properties, Alex Wall, again stepped up and converted a free kick from outside the penalty are, this time low and hard through the wall. His strike rate is up there with Gareth Bale at the moment and I have never seen a Maidenhead player with such a scoring record from set pieces as Wall. Perhaps the best comparison lies with Stuart Pearce whose pugnacious approach is a good comparison with the power Wall applies to the ball.

However Wall's goal came after Hornchurch missed a sitter and they went onto hit the post before Harry Pritchard ended the half by drawing a great save from the Urchins' goalkeeper.

The second half turned into a tale of two penalties as firstly Bobby Behzadi scored at the deserted far end of the ground to double United's lead,

and then Billy Lumley made sure there was no way back into the game for Hornchurch by diving low to his right to save the home team's spot kick.

Pritchard again went close late on when his shot was tipped over the bar before the final whistle signalled another three points to lift Maidenhead up into tenth position but still only five points ahead of Hornchurch who lie third from bottom.

Good luck Tumble

The return of Richie Goddard from his annual winter retreat to South East Asia brought news that he'd been in contact with former Maidenhead manager John "Tumble" Dreyer about his move from Stevenage to Preston North End as assistant to new manager Graham Westley. Richie was keen to pass on John's best wishes to everyone at the club which reflects his conscientious attitude whilst he was at York Road and doubtless has led him to an increasingly successful career off the pitch. Likewise I'm really happy that he's continued his move up the English football ladder, which began when he led the Magpies into the Alliance South in 2004.

Having said that it looks like he's in for a hell of a job at Deepdale, a club deep in debt and seriously underachieving. My view on the appointment of Westley and his team is that it has parallels with  that of  John Beck in the early 90s when he replaced caretaker Sam Allardyce (wonder what happened to him).  Both had great success in the lower divisions gaining a reputation as a tough operator playing no nonsense football. Hopefully there will be the same transformative effect at a club for which I have a great affection. If  history repeats itself Westley won't quite win promotion and he will be replaced by Tumble who will go on and win the title!

Deep Blue Day

An afternoon to forget yesterday. One that would have been better spent wandering around Westfield, it really was that bad. The blue theme began when I stepped onto the train at Shepherd's Bush. There was barely standing room on board as it was full of Chelsea fans going to their game at Stamford Bridge. However I was surrounded by blue shirts once more on arrival at Gander Green Lane as wearing one seemed to be a way of gaining entry to that modern footballing beast, the family fun day. Hardly surprising as I was in Surrey and good to see a larger than usual number watching their local team. I draw the line though at the liberal distribution of a device which made a vuvuzela type sound which destroyed any chance of atmosphere. Perhaps this was part of an African theme with Sutton fielding a mascot dressed as a giraffe but the kick off saw the game as a sideshow to everything else going on at the Borough sports ground which had the feeling of a summer fete with a football match going on somewhere in the middle.

Sutton took charge from the word go, with Maidenhead barely making it past the halfway line in the first forty minutes. With Sutton manager Paul Doswell fielding a cast of ex Eastleigh players, Maidenhead's poor record against the Spitfires crossed my mind, and by the break it felt like one of our many defeats against the Hampshire club.

Maidenhead's shortcomings were the inability of the midfield and attack to keep the ball and thus relieve pressure on a makeshift defence. This created the environment for Sutton to ruthlessly turn the defensive errors that ensued into goals. The first saw a stray pass picked up by Craig Watkins whose shot was saved by Sam Beasant only for Watkins to pick up the loose ball again to finish from close range in the seventh minute. He doubled the score ten minutes later when he nonchalantly finished at the far post from a Leroy Griffiths cross from the right.

Any doubt about the destination of the points was removed ahead of half time when Sutton scored two more goals to notch up the Magpies' fourth four goal deficit this season. The first came from the penalty spot, a soft award given for a challenge by Bobby Behzadi on Anthony Riviere, Watkins taking the opportunity to complete a thirty minute hat trick. Then to thoroughly depress the Maidenhead mood the final goal of the half followed a Magpies attack which saw a Max Worsfold cross find Anthony Thomas whose shot grazed the crossbar. The ball then moved swiftly to the other end where Griffiths caught Beasant off his line with a lob which hit the inside of the post and was flagged as a goal despite a Marcus Rose clearance.

This passage of play was a dress rehearsal for an open second half after an interval which saw the visiting Met Police contingent focus on monitoring celebrity penalty taker Tim Vine's criminal use of puns leaving Drax to deal with the felonious first half performance from the Magpies. Thus Gordon Strachan and everyone else in the bumper four figure crowd had, despite just the one goal, a more entertaining second half to enjoy.
The Maidenhead front six showed much greater invention and desire in the second period, creating enough chances to mount an unlikely comeback. This change in performance was typified by Will Hendry and Ashan Holgate whose machinations provided opportunities aplenty for the likes of Martel Powell and Andrew Fagan. Worsfold came closest to scoring when he hit the post  before Anthony Thomas pulled one back as the hour mark approached. However this resurgence was counterbalanced by further chances for Sutton, Harry Beautyman hitting the post following a good save by Beasant from Joel Ledgister. So by the final whistle the depression was barely lifted as I made my way back home to West London through the blue hordes trailing away from the Bridge.
So with twelve league games gone the first chapter of the season closes with Maidenhead United in a satisfactory mid table position, the joy of some great wins tempered by the scale of the defeats which call to mind John Dreyer's first season when a similar placing was achieved despite regular thumpings. Two games a week over a six week period has taken its toll in suspensions and injuries which will have a real bearing on selection in the second quarter of the campaign up to the festive season with the nature of the fixture list largely dictated by the two FA competitions.