AN ALTOGETHER MORE SPLENDID KIND OF LIFE - 2017/18

23 Seasons watching Maidenhead United

Epilogue: The last twelve months

When promotion started to become a reality last season, I was often asked how worried I was about playing in a national division. My reply was one of uninterest. What mattered was enjoying the glory of winning the title. Anything that came as a result would be sorted out in due course.

Thus the day I stepped onto an open topped bus to tour the streets of Maidenhead with the champions will live long in the memory. It was a day to enjoy the moment of being associated with the best, made complete by the return of Dave Tarpey, fresh from turning down a move to Coventry City.

This summer of celebration continued into the following pre season by winning the Berks & Bucks Cup in July.

In the meantime there had been two important additions made to the squad in centre back Jake Goodman and prodigious midfielder Harold Odametey. Also striking options were strengthened by the return of Adrian Clifton and Jake Hyde.

Off the pitch almost five hundred season tickets were sold, more than the total opening day attendance of the previous season. The ground was augmented by the Devonshire hospitality suite, and new food and drink outlets, including one for the new away end in front of the Maidenhead Advertiser office.

The publication of the fixture list brought home the nature of United’s brave new world as the season started with a run of matches against former Football League clubs.

Many were reticent about our chances and were keen to peddle a survival narrative but I was confident of a mid table finish as the team carried through their title winning momentum.

That the club now had a higher media profile became clear as I sat on a beach in Costa Rica and tuned into live commentary of the first home game against Wrexham. Then, on my return to the UK I had to get to the next game at York Road a little earlier than usual as BT Sport had chosen the match against Hartlepool for their lunchtime live broadcast.

Fortunately, after a stuttering start, my arrival coincided with the match the Magpies season clicked into gear, comfortably beating Hartlepool with Tarpey announcing himself on the National League stage with two goals. The following Tuesday, Tarpey hit four at Fylde and he was hot property again. A deadline day move to Barnet for a club record fee again saw the doom mongers out in force but in the next match United won at table toppers Sutton to firmly dispel any thoughts that they were a one man team.

Now nicely settled in mid table the season became a fantastic journey, with wins, defeats and draws in equal measure as the Magpies visited hitherto unknown parts of the country.

Memories were made most matchdays, even if it was for peripheral highlights such as the Three Pigeons pub in Halifax, or the time the supporters made it to Torquay way ahead of the team after the coach driver refused to avoid a traffic jam.

A home match against Aldershot, saw six goals shared in a thrilling draw and proved to be a swansong for terrace hero Dean Inman as he came off the bench to equalise before accepting the non league deal of a lifetime to sign for Billericay.

One aspect of higher status was only having to play one FA Cup qualifier although a very late winner was required from Ryan Upward to set up a first round trip to Coventry, an occasion when James Comley commanded the stage only for the team to slip to a defeat.

Although the squad’s talent wasn’t in question, this was a league of fine margins with no easy rides as Eastleigh showed when they retrieved a two goal deficit with minutes remaining in November.

With the matches coming thick and fast there were chances for fringe players such as Sam Barratt, Remy Clerima, Max Kilman, Christian Smith to establish themselves, with fellow midfielder Upward also coming to the fore.

An epic trip to the north east two days before Christmas saw the double completed over Hartlepool courtesy of the masked assassin Sean Marks.

The New Year started with the promise of a Trophy run but despite a triumphant return to Halifax, in the last sixteen Stockport went one better than Eastleigh as the Magpies let slip a 2-0 lead at Edgeley Park to lose the replay in extra time.

Despite the mid table position being maintained, doubts once again started to creep in about sliding league form, the erection of anachronistic fences on the Bell Street terraces, a visual symbol of the less attractive aspects of the National League.

Eventual champions Macclesfield were pushed all the way into stoppage time at Moss Rose before they finally finished ahead against United who had held their nerve for over three hours against the division’s best team.

Everything came crashing down though at Gateshead as I had the displeasure of describing every goal of a 7-1 humbling to BBC Berkshire listeners. However just when the season threatened to get interesting at the wrong end of the table, Alan conjured up the spirit of the champions to win three home matches in eight days against Woking, Dover and Sutton before ending the away campaign perfectly on Tuesday night by beating Orient to guarantee a top half finish.

All in all a perfect end to this series and a true measure of the contributions of Peter Griffin off the pitch and Alan Devonshire on it, and one totally inconceivable way back in 1994.

Over the summer there will be improvements to floodlights, the pitch and hospitality facilities, but as the club is required by the league to show gradual progress towards developing a 6,000 capacity stadium with 2,000 seats, challenges on a whole new scale will present themselves.

In twelve months time the question of whether to go full time will become ever more insistent, perhaps a pivotal moment in the club’s long and proud history.

In another twenty three seasons time will I  view this as a high water mark or the start of the next volume of memoirs? Only time will tell but whatever happens I’m sure it will remain an altogether more splendid kind of life supporting the Magpies.

With thanks to Mark Smith’s book One For Sorrow Two For Joy for the statistical content of this series.

To read more about this season visit www.mufcheritage.com

AN ALTOGETHER MORE SPLENDID KIND OF LIFE - 2013/14

23 Seasons watching Maidenhead United

Part 20: 2013/14

A typical Drax season with some Cup excitement and a last day escape provides ample material for this weeks chapter but the long term consequences of what happened during the calendar year of 2014 were to be some of the most significant in the club’s recent history.

On the pitch, Drax’s annual midsummer foray into player recruitment produced varying results. There were a couple of players on the slide in Michael Malcolm and Elvijs Putnins, two competent but injury prone defenders in Matt Ruby and Curtis Ujah, promise for the future in Wada Ahmidi, and two erstwhile hidden gems in the shape of Danny Green and Adrian Clifton.

The latter two made their presence felt on debut at Whitehawk on the opening day of the season, winning 3-0 in Sussex to upset the bookies. This was followed by two more wins and two draws in the first five matches of the season, as once again, fired by the goals of Richard Pacquette, the Magpies promised much for the season to come.

Sailing home with three points from Gosport in the last of these matches, confidence was high for the visit of hot title favourites Eastleigh. United went toe to toe with the full time Spitfires but eventually lost 3-1 and that first defeat followed by Pacquette limping off injured a week later at Concord, signalled the end of any pretensions at a top half finish.

The lack of firepower saw an FA Cup exit at the first opportunity at hitherto winless Oxford City, ex Magpie Jamie Cook scoring from virtually the game’s only goal attempt in the last minute.

This was followed by embarrassing home defeats to Slough in the County Cup, and bottom of the table Dorchester, as for the first time, Drax’s tenure at York Road was thrown into serious jeopardy.

An eventful afternoon at home to Bromley proved there was still life in the Magpies, who fought back after a delay in play caused by an injury to one of the match officials. Pacquette had returned as a make shift centre back, reportedly losing two teeth for the cause, only for new signing Jacob Erskine to miss a penalty which would have rescued a rare point.

The season’s salvation was to be found in the FA Trophy. The squad was revitalised by a number of temporary signings, in defence in the form of Leslie Thompson and future England star Alfie Mawson, along with attacking midfielder Harry Grant.

All three travelled down to  Eastbourne for the first Trophy tie of the season as part of a squad that had gone eleven matches without a win, including a sound defeat at Priory Lane just two weeks previously.

Watched by literally a handful of United fans, a second half goal from Grant was enough for a shock result and place in the first round proper.

The draw produced a visit to Daventry Town, two divisions lower than United, but boasting a proud home record which had seen every game end in victory bar one draw. Yet again though, a single goal for the Magpies, this time from the unlikely source of Malcolm was enough to secure passage to the next round and the exotic prospect of a pre Christmas trip to Barrow. 

As the fog descended in the midweek match at home to Chelmsford prior to the trip to Cumbria, the away support looked set to increase to the full eleven with substitutes.
On a never to be forgotten dank day at Holker Street (pictured top), second half goals from Green and Pacquette won a memorable match and the reward of a trip to Grimsby Town in the last sixteen of the competition.

In between these ties, the first league wins since Gosport arrived as a Christmas gift with all six points taken over the festive period.

At Blundell Park, the Mariners looked good for their 2-0 half time lead but a goal just after the break from Reece Tison-Lascaris inspired a fight back which could not quite produce an equaliser.

Longer term hope for the future was kindled at the start of 2014 by the finalising of plans for the Magpies in the Community scheme, and over 27 years since arson destroyed the old one, a permanent new stand. Building works for this would start as the season drew to a close, a visual reminder that regardless of what was happening on the pitch they was much progress going on off it.

This was particularly true with that age old bugbear of home form holding back the fight against relegation. Away from home there was something to cheer, Adrian Clifton revelling in a new deep lying forward role, driving his team on to a 3-0 win at Chelmsford, whilst on a wet Tuesday night at Tonbridge, Danny Green scored all the United goals in a thrilling 4-2 win. Green’s performance reflected a season which saw him thoroughly deserve his player of the year award. His darting bursts inside from his right wing berth, full of elan, entertained and delighted United fans when there was little else to cheer.

Any remaining faith in Drax departed for good with five consecutive home defeats lost by late goals, split only by a 6-1 thrashing at Bromley.

The arrival of Reading goalkeeper Jonathan Henly on loan shored up the defence and set up three wins in a week, two of which were at home. The latter against promotion chasing Sutton suggested survival would soon be confirmed but a goalless draw in a vital home match against Tonbridge saw Green sent off and banned for the final match of the season.

United utterly collapsed at moribund Farnborough on Easter Saturday and now found themselves requiring seven points from the remaining three matches to stay up.

Against all the odds the Magpies rose again on Easter Monday against Ebbsfleet in their first season of new found oil money riches, a Green goal winning a tense match against a team bound for the play off final.

Next up was an away trip to another team in the play off hunt, Havant. Thanks in no small part to the electric pace of winger Lanre Azeez, Green and Clifton scored the goals in an unlikely 3-1 win which meant Maidenhead would travel to Bishops Stortford on the final day of the season with their destiny still in their hands.

A win would secure safety, and an Erskine goal in the first half eased the nerves. With Hayes and Whitehawk both losing all that was needed was the final whistle to blow. In the second half though both drew level, and when Stortford did the same deep in stoppage time, survival hopes were hanging by a thread, the final whistle leading to an agonising wait for the other results to be confirmed before a final finish of eighteenth could be celebrated.

This time round though celebrations were tinged by a healthy dose of realism as chairman Peter Griffin discreetly canvassed opinion on the manager’s position. Drax got a stay of execution and within weeks of the end of the season had made one of the most important signings in the club’s history.

With thanks to Mark Smith’s book One For Sorrow Two For Joy for the statistical content of this series.

To read more about this season visit www.mufcheritage.com

Double and drop?

The sun shone once again on York Road yesterday as two goals in three minutes early in the second half set up what was ultimately a comfortable victory for the Magpies over Staines Town to complete an early season double courtesy of the arcane method of compiling the Conference South fixture list.

Maidenhead's win at Wheatsheaf Park in September was a lot easier than the 2-1 scoreline suggested, with United passing up a number of opportunities to increase their lead against ten men. Yesterday saw the opposite as by clinically taking the best two chances on offer Maidenhead made light work of a Staines team which promised much in the first half but visibly wilted once they went behind.

Drax had made a few changes to the line up that earned a point in Essex last week, with loan signings Will Britt and Connor Waldon going straight into the team, and Harry Pritchard resuming his left back role.

The first half saw both sides promise much going forward but offer little in the way of clear cut chances. With twenty minutes gone Elliott Buchanan had the best opportunity of the half to open the scoring but his header went wide for a corner. It was unclear quite how the ball went wide so the credit goes to Britt. At the other end Pritchard went close from the unlikely position of in front of the right hand post which may explain why the shot from his weaker foot hit the side netting. In between Stephane Ngamvoulou was a mite fortunate to stay on the pitch when a very late challenge floored Ashley Nicholls, the referee opting for a yellow card.

After the restart, kicking down the hill with the sun in Swans goalkeeper Jack Turner's eyes, Maidenhead soon gained the upper hand. I know I'm biased in millinery matters but Turner really should have worn a hat. With the young Maidenhead fans behind the goal showing a fine appreciation of popular culture, asking about the whereabouts of Ali G., the force was very much with United and they pushed harder and harder until the Staines defence cracked twelve minutes into the second half.

A Dave Tarpey shot was saved by Turner but the ball ran loose with Nicholls springing into action to reach it first. He then calmly beat the stricken Turner with a cool finish, which was damning in its delicateness. Staines had barely kicked off when Maidenhead won a corner which Tarpey took and placed perfectly onto the head of Adrian Clifton who made no mistake to score.

The lack of any real response from Staines to this double blow meant the game was all but over as a contest. So far this season the Conference South has been marked by its competitiveness and the absence of a real whipping boy, but with seven consecutive league defeats Staines are fast fitting the bill.

Weston's super 'mare

Weston-super-mare's annual visit to York Road is not one I look forward to. At one stage there were three goalless draws in a row, one of which literally saw bad play stop light as darkness descended briefly 'til someone found another penny for the meter. This run was broken in 2010 when Lee Barney scored a stoppage time winner, the only goal of the game, and since Weston have had the upper hand, as under the guidance of Craig Laird they defied the odds to take root in the top half of the Conference South.

I missed last season's defeat courtesy of the usual trainmaggedon from First Great Western and the way this week started on the mainline out of Paddington, a repeat seemed likely, something I wasn't overly troubled by given the likely outcome of the match.

Nevertheless I made it to York Road in good time for kick off, to see the evening's events follow the script for the first half hour. With Leon Solomon and Adrian Clifton returning for selection, Drax was able to field perhaps his strongest eleven. The Magpies started brightly but as was hitherto the case at home in the league, without an end product. Clifton couldn't capitalise from slipping the offside trap, manfully staying on his feet under a heavy challenge from a defender, whilst Dave Tarpey signalled his intentions with a stinging shot which was parried by the goalkeeper. 

Weston, who had lost the experienced Clayton Fortune to injury in the pre match warm up, took heart from staying on level terms and began to exert their influence on the game. It was thus no surprise when Jamie Lucas skipped through the Maidenhead defence to score the opening goal with a fine finish in the 24th minute.Cue the usual feeling of emptiness as yet again Maidenhead failed to take advantage of their early supremacy, and were punished by a more clinical opposition. The only conclusion could be that the rest of the evening would follow the trend set previously this season and over a decade of contests against the Seagulls.

By half time though Maidenhead had not only equalised, but had turned over the deficit and accelerated into a two goal lead. It all started to go right for the Magpies just after the half hour mark when Eddie Hutchinson had a header tipped over the bar by Luke Purnell. Nothing came of the resulting corner but from the next attack Tarpey drove into the box in trademark style, drawing the foul from Sam Teale to win a penalty.

The return of Clifton from suspension meant he now could take over penalty duty from Danny Green, and he began his new job in some style, keeping his back turned to the keeper until the whistle was blown, when he ran up to strike the ball into the back of the net. A minute later Tarpey had another shot deflected wide and once again Maidenhead's attacks were full of promise, which as half time loomed turned into the goals which would put United out of reach.

With six minutes to go until half time Green won the champagne moment of the match with a superb challenge to win a loose ball just outside the penalty area. His commitment resonated with a will to win, and almost by virtue of winning the ball appeared to take himself away from the Weston defence with typical elan. Heading towards the left wing, Green checked his run then with his pass found Hutchinson in the space the winger had vacated, the central midfielder drilling the ball home to put United ahead.

Tarpey then finally found the target on the stroke of half time to cap a stunning quarter of an hour for the Magpies. Within minutes of the restart they showed they hadn't finished for the evening as Clifton had a header scooped out from under the bar by Purnell who was fast becoming Weston's man of the match. Midway through the second half Tarpey beat him once more, and although Ryan Bath pulled a goal back for the visitors this only encouraged United to redouble their efforts with the dying minute seeing them threaten to turn the game into a rout.

Firstly Harry Pritchard, quietly efficient in his new role at left back, popped up in the opposing six yard box to tap in a cross from Clifton, and then Tarpey bagged a well deserved hat trick in stoppage time to leave the scoreline at a humbling 6-2.

The aftermath saw my head buzzing with statistics, 18 goals in the last 4 games, 10 goals in the last 2 home games when the previous four had produced none, 16 out of 18 points available won with Simon Downer in the team, and most importantly 6 points in October for the first time since 2009.

Overall though the numbers were nothing compared to the aesthetic pleasure to be gained from the dashing attacking performance by the Magpies. Danny Green had his best game of the season so far, Adrian Clifton proved his importance to the team is as big as his frame, and Dave Tarpey set off echoes of the legendary Garry Attrell with his wing play.
It is Attrell and his famed left foot which gives this blog its title and you can see him dribbling down the left hand side of this page. Tarpey reflects Garry's best abilities: his metronomic runs down the left wing providing a reliable outlet for his teammates, his clinical finishing in front of a goal, and most pleasing of all the way he drives into the penalty area and buys a foul from the defender. Attrell lives!

Chappell leaves Maidenhead without a prayer

Not totally sure why, but I really enjoy a trip to Clarence Park, St. Albans. Easy to get to, nice walk through the park to the turnstile, and a few happy memories of Maidenhead wins. With the sun shining as well this afternoon all seemed set fair for a repeat of last Saturday's victorious trip to Staines. Initially everything went to plan. 

Passing through the turnstiles I met Peter Knock on the other side, exactly where he always was when I last went to Clarence Park before the Saints were relegated. Following Peter's customary warm welcome I took in the familiar scene of this neat little non league ground, only marginally spoiled by the grey metal fence which surrounds the perimeter.

In the lead up to kick off I learned that Drax had decided to tinker with his team, giving a full debut to Melchi Emmanuel-Williamson and Bobby Behzadi a rare start as a defensive midfielder. With Behzadi replacing Reece Tison-Lascaris, this looked like a move to bolster the defence, one which looked wise from the start as St. Albans looked to get on the front foot. In the early exchanges Maidenhead gave as good as they got though and took the lead in the seventh minute. A Danny Green free kick swung into the box. The defence were unable to clear it and the ball found its way to Adrian Clifton on the edge of the penalty area who fiercely struck the ball to score.

This did not deter St. Albans, with Elvijs Putnins soon saving well at the feet of Sean Shields. The home team were not backwards about coming forwards and their was an urgent directness to their play. It soon became clear that the touchlines had been brought in significantly to provide Lee Chappell with a long run up to unleash a throw in straight into the penalty area. This up and at 'em attitude extended throughout the team, which led to a niggly match, well controlled by referee Lloyd Wood. 

The Saints managed to get under the skin of the Magpies for much of the game, and this boiled over into a confrontation in the nineteenth minute between Tom Ward and Clifton. With Ward getting into Clifton's face, the midfielders response was to push the defender over, with the inevitable consequence of a red card. The dismissal hit Maidenhead harder than merely going down to ten men, as with the player whose strong running has done so much to link the midfield with attack missing, United retreated and then crumpled under a revitalised onslaught from St. Albans.

At first Putnins was able to stem the attacking tide with a flying save to deny John Frendo but within ten minutes Steve Wales had equalised with a goal remarkably similar to Clifton's.This was swiftly followed by a second when Putnins pushed a Chappell free kick from the halfway line into his own net. Chappell then completed the comeback by collecting a pinpoint crossfield long ball on the left hand side of the penalty area, beating Emmanuel-Williamson with his first touch then Putins with a fine finish.

Blown away by three goals in ten minutes, Maidenhead rallied slightly before half time and should have pulled a goal back when Stefan Brown hit the cross bar from close range. 

The interval provided time for reflection. On the pitch Maidenhead had failed to deal with St. Albans' direct approach and looked quite unsettled by the home team's aggressive approach. Off it City looked a resurgent club. The crowd was a season's best 707, significantly helped by free tickets distributed to local schools, with many youngsters enjoying half time on the pitch in their kit. I wasn't so sure about the mascot, supposedly a Roman which looked like it had the head of a lion, but liked the fine array of big flags being re-hung at the home end, even though some of the imagery was a little incongruous given the leafy suburban surroundings.

As the teams trotted out for the second half, Drax brought on Daniel Brown for Emmanuel-Williamson, moving Behazdi into the right back slot. Maidenhead made a better fist of the second half, with Ryan Upward in particular driving the team forward in midfield. With thirty minutes left, United then saw a way back into the game as Upward was brought down by Ward in sight of goal. With Ward already cautioned for the incident with Clifton he now followed him into the dressing room. However with a two goal cushion St. Albans were able to sit back and soak up Maidenhead's attacking endeavours which were now reinforced by Reece Tison-Lascaris and debutant Sam Barratt. 

Stepping up from the Hellenic League, the teenage Barratt showed no signs of being overawed with some nice touches on the left wing, whipping in a couple of decent cross. Yet it was St. Albans that looked most likely to score when they counter attacked and two minutes into stoppage time Chappell completed his hat trick. There was still time for Ashley Nicholls to test goalkeeper Joe Welch with a shot from distance but the die was cast for a comfortable win for St. Albans.

Once again the absence of key players Simon Downer and Dave Tarpey was keenly felt, whilst the unscheduled departure of Clifton showed his importance to the team.An apology from the latter was swiftly forthcoming, although he will now be suspended for the FA Cup tie in a fortnight's time, and probably the two games following that. Tarpey will be available next Saturday and its to be hoped that Downer will be fit enough to join him, with the Magpies being unbeaten in every game the defender has played so far.

Magpies headed onward by Upward

Rather brighter and more importantly drier weather accompanied Maidenhead's visit to Staines yesterday. Fortunately the Magpies' good 21st century record at Wheatsheaf Park persisted with a 2-1 win despite the absence of United talisman Dave Tarpey.

Of greater importance was evidence that lessons had been learned from last week's failure to beat ten men, as Maidenhead won more comfortably than the result suggested.

This outcome seemed far distant when Staines were gifted a lead in the third minute when Louie Theophanous took advantage of a defensive mix up to skip into the penalty area and score. The goal raised fears that Maidenhead's defensive frailty of last season had re-appeared but within four minutes the Magpies were back on level terms when an Adrian Clifton shot hit the back of a net helped by a deflection from a defender.

At the kick off I initially scoffed when someone asked if the game was a local derby but the niggly nature of the game suggested that this might be the case, perhaps reflecting the West London origins of a lot of the personnel from both clubs. The referee, who spent the afternoon distributing cards like a postman at Christmas, had already put a few Staines names into the book when the main talking point of the game occured with twenty minutes gone.

The incident which led to two red cards, appeared to start innocuously when Reece Tison-Lascaris chased  hard in vain to keep the ball in play. When his mission finished in front of the Maidenhead dug out, Drax went to retrieve the ball only for Sanchez Ming to wrestle it off him. Given the proximity of both dugouts the sterotypical bout of handbags was inevitable and when the pushing and shoving had stopped the referee dismissed Drax from the dug out. After much discussion and pointing to the tunnel it became clear that the referee was to be as merciless with Ming and so for the second weekend in a row Maidenhead's opposition was to be reduced to ten men for the majority of the match.

Initially the dismissal fired up the home team, Elvijs Putnins having to be a full stretch to paw away a Chris M'Bongou header. In the ten minutes ahead of the break though, Maidenhead gained the upperhand, thanks to someone lovely passing in the midfield around the fulcrum of Clifton. Time and again he combined with Tison-Lascaris to create a handful of chances before the break, although goalkeeper Jack Turner was not seriously tested.

Maidenhead continued in similar fashion after the interval, helped by Staines' manager Marcus Gayle's decision to ignore Ming's absence and go with three at the back. This enabled Tison-Lascaris, and later his replacement Lanre Azeez, to exploit his freedom on the left wing on a regular basis, but having danced their way into the penalty area, neither player could quite make the breakthrough to score. Another source of forward movement was Danny Green, whose performance approaching his form of last season.

All this was set against a rapidly deteriorating performance by the man in black who waved away two decent penalty shouts from Clifton and Green, and with his erratic decisions regarding the issue of cautions almost saw the game slip out of his control more than once in the second half.

Maidenhead came closest to taking the lead, just ahead of the hour mark when a Clifton shot from distance was spilled by Turner, Stefan Brown missing the opportunity to fire home the loose ball. 

The introduction of Ryan Upward provided some fresh legs in the Maidenhead midfield, helping United to wear down their opponents by keeping the ball, at one point encouraging a few shouts of "Ole" from the travelling support. Upward then reinforced his impact by heading in what proved to be the winner at the far post from a Green free kick eighteen minutes from full time.

Maidenhead then could and should have extended their lead to a more comfortable margin of victory. Substitute Tashan Adeyinka let fly with a spectacular shot  which Turner punched away, and then in stoppage time couldn't quite apply the finish to s swift counter attack. Sadly the only notes for the record books in the last ten minutes were yet more bookings.

So three deserved points for the Magpies against a Staines team which surprisingly seems to have lost the steely discipline which saw them emerge as play off dark horses last season.

Magpies storm Stortford

Reading the newspaper en route to Bishops Stortford I learned that scientists had discovered that contrary to popular myth magpies are not thieves. This new truth was reflected in Maidenhead United's win at Bishops Stortford yesterday as contrary to the away form of previous seasons when three points were stolen with some judicious counter attacking, the Magpies imposed themselves on the Blues from the kick off, dominating the first half and thoroughly deserving to travel back to Berkshire with all three points.

Despite last week's win over Sutton, manager Johnson Hippolyte opted to change a winning team, replacing Bobby Behzadi at right back with Luton loanee Brett Longden (available having completed a suspension), tinkering with the layout slightly to switch Jacob Erksine for Lanre Azeez. The latter change saw Mark Nisbet move back into the centre of defence alongside Simon Downer, with Azeez continuing in the right wing slot in which he had finished the last game.

With the home team barely getting a sniff of a chance at the United end, they instead scored the opening goal albeit in the wrong net when a vicious cross from the right by Adrian Clifton was converted at the far post by Ashley Miller in the tenth minute.

Fifteen minutes later, Clifton himself ensured Maidenhead's superiority was reinforced by heading in a Nicholls cross from the left. 

On the stroke of half time United almost sealed the points but were unable to capitalise on a goalmouth scramble which saw Eddie Hutchinson bravely throw himself into the fray in a bid to score amidst appeals for a penalty.

The interval gave Stortford manager Rod Stringer, serving a touchline ban, the chance to let his team know in no uncertain terms their first half shortcomings, and the Blues responded appropriately from the start of the second half. This saw an appeal for a penalty turned down in a frenzied attack, but once this initial burst of energy had blown itself out, the Magpies were able to comfortably manage the game to preserve their lead.

As the game drew to a close United made sure of the three points with the goal of the game. With six minutes remaining a long ball out of the hands of Elvijs Putnins was flicked on by the head of Stefan Brown into the path of substitute Reece Tison-Lacaris. The nippy attacker sprinted forward, beat the defence with a quick shimmy before beating the keeper from the edge of the are with a shot that squirreled its way into the corner.

This goal finally sparked Stortford into life, Putnins producing his best save of the game to foil Ryan Melaugh, with Nisbet tidying up on the goal line behind him before Ishmael Kamara scored a consolation goal in stoppage time.

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

"That joke isn't funny anymore,

it's too close to home and it's too near the bone"

As the fourth late winner of the week hit the back of the net after cruelly hitting the post and running across the goal I pondered the odds of four defeats in eight days by a single goal, with the score being level with five minutes remaining. Calling to mind the frustration of continually unfulfilled hope, would it have been better to endure four comprehensive beatings? Probably not. The allure of tantalisingly close progress is more attractive than the despondency of autumn when it looked like Maidenhead would be already relegated by now. With six weeks of the season left all that can be done is to put your head down and join the scramble to avoid relegation. The last eight days have seen United fall back in the pack of nine teams fighting the drop but the experience of the last four seasons of relegation battles shows that little is likely to be decided before Easter Monday with the next notable landmark coming at the end of the month with the transfer and ground grading deadline.

Yesterday's game was influenced by a strong westerly wind and a hard pitch which remarkably will soon be in need of watering. With the ball bouncing high as it was launched back and forth prompting the Dover fans to sing "what a load of rubbish", the second half delivered little of the promise of the first, Tom Murphy coming closest to breaking the deadlock on the hour mark when he ran clear only to be denied by the prompt action of goalkeeper Yannick Nlate.

The stalemate had hardly seemed likely when Murphy had given Dover the lead in the eighth minute. He pounced on a mistake by Jacob Erskine in the centre circle to head for goal, efficiently dealing with the attentions of  the United defence before rounding Nlate to score. Although the goal seemed to be the harbinger of another big win for Dover, Maidenhead struck back four minutes later when Adrian Clifton headed in a Brett Longden cross at the far post.

The Magpies then went on to almost take the lead with what would have been the goal of the season. Reece Tison-Lascaris collected the ball inside the penalty area and neatly flicked the ball over his shoulder Bergkamp style before volleying the ball goalbound only for keeper Mitchell Walker to pull out all the stops with a lightning fast reaction save to divert the ball around the post with his hand.

Instead then it was Dover who took all three points with Ricky Modeste's late strike, not the first he has scored at York Road, the substitute picking his spot from the edge of the penalty area to curl home the winner.

At least the mood after the game, following the usual post mortem, was lightened by the discovery of some first time visitors to the ground. A group of Italians had travelled all the way from Genoa to take part in a local Subbuteo tournament and were celebrating after their mini men had triumphed. If only I could have flicked Modeste's shot off the line.

Every Second Counts...

Following Saturday's sucker punch by Bath the immediate worry was whether the team would be able to pick themselves up for two midweek relegation six pointers. This did not prove to be a problem as the Magpies created enough chances to win both games but instead continued to fail to maintain concentration and latterly energy to the end, being punished with late goals in the 93rd and 89th minute which saw Boreham Wood and Gosport Borough snatch three points at the death.

Both defeats were hard to take as a mere spectator and one can only speculate about the impact on dressing room morale with essentially the bottom nine clubs relatively even and set to play roughly the final quarter of the season over the next six weeks.

Against Boreham Wood, Maidenhead appeared to initially miss Tyrell Miller-Rodney in the base of midfield, with Adrian Clifton moving back to cover the Brentford loan player, Reece Tison-Lascaris taking Clifton's forward role.There was little to choose between the two clubs in the first half, Harry Grant going closest to opening the scoring with a curling short which almost deceived goalkeeper James Russell.

After the break Boreham Wood tested Elvijs Putnins, the Latvian goalkeeper tipping a Graeme Montgomery shot over the bar, punching a Loick Pires shot away, before combining with Mark Niset to deny Kudus Oyenuga.

The last quarter of the game though was dominated by the Magpies with only a man of the match performance by Russell denying them the lead. Just past the hour mark Russell managed to get his fingertips to a Danny Green strike to deflect it past the post. Then with twenty minutes remaining Russell produced a superb reaction save to deny Grant from close range, then from the resulting corner tipped a Harry Pritchard effort onto the bar. In the last minute Grant had a great opportunity to win the game but couldn't apply a decent contact to the ball so as the game entered stoppage time it looked like the Magpies would have to settle for a point.

Frustratingly though with just seconds left on the clock a Putnins clearance was intercepted by Junior Morias and he ran clear to score and spark delirious scenes on the Boreham Wood bench.

This painful memory was somewhat soothed within three minutes of the start of Thursday's match against Gosport Borough, when Clifton, back in his advanced role thanks to the return of Miller-Rodney, finished from close range to score Maidenhead's first goal at York Road since Boxing Day. The goal naturally proved a real boost to the Magpies and they looked good for their lead in the opening stages of the game. Twice though they failed to take advantage of goalscoring opportunities when the Borough defence stopped in anticipation of an offside flag, the chance to play on seemingly as much a surprise to the Maidenhead players. With the pause causing the forward momentum lost, Grant and Tison-Lascaris squandered the chances and as the half drew on Gosport began to threaten.

Before the half time whistle blew Rory Williams shot over the bar when well placed, whilst United's loan full back Brett Longden had to clear another effort off the line.

In the second half Maidenhead showed plenty of forward intent but could not create a chance to consolidate their lead and a Gosport equaliser began to look inevitable. Borough were increasingly making inroads into the United penalty area with booming cross field balls either from open play or set pieces. These were often met by headers and it was in this fashion that Luke Bennett, who had only returned on loan from Poole the previous day, equalised with half an hour to go.

As the game went on the Magpies increasingly showed signs of fatigue in their third game in six days, and as the clock entered the closing minutes there was an inevitability about the final score which was settled in the final minute when Bennett scored his second brace of the week with a tremendous strike from the edge of the penalty area.

Three defeats of this nature in quick succession can only cast aspersions on Maidenhead's ability to retain their Conference South status. At best there was an opportunity to put daylight between the Magpies and the relegation zone and at worst three draws would have at least maintained the status quo. Instead United need to reboot their season once again to secure 16 points out of the last 36 available to have any confidence of staying out of the bottom three.

Chelmsford 1, 2, 3-0 to Maidenhead

I was expecting nothing from a trip to Chelmsford yesterday either in terms of the match or the day itself and therefore at the start of the season had penciled in a first trip to Colchester's new ground on this date. However the sheer novelty of watching Maidenhead play on a Saturday for only the second time in 2014 meant I got off the train a little earlier than initially planned. The warm sunny weather was certainly welcome as was the sight of the ground improvements at Melbourne Park since my last visit three seasons ago. With a terraced end (one covered) directly behind each goal it felt more like a football ground and slightly lessened the impact of the athletics stadium. Off the pitch I was impressed by what must be the slickest operation in non league football in terms of their hospitality for all comers whether they be officials or paying supporters, and of course the programme remains of a quality that could grace the Premier League (no idea how they make that pay though).

Before the match Drax had been quite bullish in his approach to the game, saying that he would be going all out for a win in the local paper. This looked a little unlikely due to the lack of striking options on the team sheet but as it turned out was an accurate prediction.

Kicking off into the wind on an understandably heavy surface which was soon covered in divots, Maidenhead were initially made to work hard by a Chelmsford team eager to continue their much improved form under new manager Mark Hawkes. However by failing to create any on target goal attempts, the home team set their tone for the afternoon. In contrast once Maidenhead began to bring the ball forward, their incisive passing was backed up by some ruthless finishing which virtually decided the results in a four minute spell around the quarter hour mark.

Leon Solomon opened the scoring in the thirteenth minute with a shot from the right flank which curled round the keeper Carl Pentney and into the back of the net. Three minutes later, Adrian Clifton, who had an impressive game in the false nine role, slotted in a slide rule pass which split the Chelmsford defence. Harry Grant who was playing off Clifton's left shoulder ran through to collect the ball and apply the finishing touch to double the score.

Maidenhead almost put themselves out sight with their next attack when Grant returned the favour for Clifton, only for Pentney to scramble his near post effort off the line. Chelmsford responded by methodically bringing the ball forward but barring a couple of efforts that were blocked in the penalty area scarcely looked like troubling Elvijs Putnins in the Maidenhead goal. Not that you would have thought this was the case if you closed your eyes as the Chelmsford fans continually erupted in howls of outrage at the referee which was marked by the lack of any protest from the home team players.

By contrast Maidenhead always looked likely to add to their tally and Clifton's industrious afternoon continued to go unrewarded when he headed a Danny Green corner from the right onto the woodwork at the far post six minutes ahead of the break.

Little changed when the teams changed ends. Magpie debutant Tyrell Miller-Rodney who gave an unfussy efficient performance sat in front of the central defence throughout, really started to shine as he began to get forward firing in a shot which Pentney could only push behind for a corner early in the second half. From the resulting corner Clifton then capped an unlucky day in front of goal when this time having  hit the back of the net with his header saw the referee rule it out for a foul.

Chelmsford continued to enjoy periods of pressure with no meaningful end result bar a Justin Miller effort which Putnins had to tip over the bar.

Three Maidenhead substitutions injected some much need life to a team faced with an energy sapping surface to maintain a counter attacking threat as Mark Nisbet and Jacob Erskine continued to deal effectively with anything Chelmsford could throw at them. The Magpies attacking ambition finally paid dividends in the final minute of stoppage time when Miller-Rodney delightfully nutmegged defender Christian Smith before squaring the ball to Jonathan Constant to score with a tap in with virtually the first touch of the Maidenhead career.

There was nothing flattering about this scoreline which accurately reflected Chelmsford's impotence and Maidenhead's ruthlessness when going forward. A first United win at Melbourne Park at the seventh attempt was a great tonic, taking the team out of the bottom three and hopefully revitalising the fight against relegation after two poor recent results.

A Sketch for Winter

Glad I made a late decision to attend this game yesterday. In the first place an hour of bumping into people wearing novelty Christmas hats and jumpers was all I could take in Central London, but more importantly the game itself was great entertainment, and certainly more wholesome than spending the afternoon in the pub. So I found myself at 2 pm on a train crawling through the South London suburbs accompanied by the wistful guitar musings of Vini Reilly.

With the temperature warm enough to leave my long johns at home, the sun vied with the floodlights to light up a dank and sparsely attended Gander Green Lane. After a great end to last season, and backed by the heavyweight financial resources of manager Paul Doswell it seemed that this season's Conference South title race would be played out between Sutton and Eastleigh, but the Us form has dipped of late leaving them outside the play off places with presumably the sub par Borough Sports Ground crowd of 472 a consequence of deflated expectations.

In selecting his team Drax continued to juggle the squad with their varying levels of fitness, wisely opting to repeat his decision which worked so well at Eastbourne of opting for a back three (Mark Nisbet, Jacob Erskine and Devante McKain) with wing backs Les Thompson and Leon Solomon complementing Daniel Brown, Adrian Clifton and Danny Green in midfield, leaving Richard Pacquette and Michael Malcolm up front.

The extra man in central defence was certainly required in the opening stages of the game as Sutton started strongly, Jamie Slabber showing his intent to continue his role as a thorn in the Magpies' side with an early effort that was tipped round the post by Elvijs Putnins. 

Sutton's early dominance was confirmed in the twentieth minute when inevitably Slabber giving the home side the lead with his amber colleagues virtually queuing up to score. However this was not to prove the cue for a thrashing as Maidenhead played their way back into the game. Within four minutes of going behind Clifton took his time to pick his spot before firing through the defensive line to equalise.

Sutton continued to threaten, Slabber hitting the crossbar with a header just after the half hour mark, but Maidenhead were up for the fight with Pacquette back to his snarling best, bumping the goalkeeper over to leave the moral majority in the covered terrace on the far touchline baying for his blood.

Sutton skipper Jamie Stuart's response to this incident was to indicate that his goalie needed to lead with a combination of his elbow and knee in future so it was ironic that minutes later he found himself on the deck after an aerial challenge with Pacquette. The Referee correctly awarded a drop ball right in front of the covered terrace which sent the moaners into apoplexy, and yet if anything it was Maidenhead who had reason to complain as the game had been stopped with the Magpie attack in full flow.

The game now turned to resemble a boxing match of the footballing kind with both teams trading blows in front of goal in the last minutes ahead of the interval. Firstly Slabber rose salmon like at the far post, hanging in the air to head home at the far post, but any hastily rewritten team talks had to be rehashed once more as Pacquette equalised with the goal of the game.

Receiving the ball outside the penalty area, the striker hit the ball on the half volley. the strike dipping into the back of the net as Pacquette rushed off to collect the plaudits of the covered terrace.

The game changed after the break with Thompson being replaced by Harry Pritchard, and once Craig Dundas had returned the lead to Sutton within six minutes of the restart, the home team took a more conservative approach to the match, working hard to stifle any hope Maidenhead of getting back on level terms for a third time.

Drax's response was to pursue his recent Wengeresque predilection for wingers by introducing loan players Harry Grant and Josh Clarke into the fray, the former appearing for the last time, whilst the latter's debut was characterised by a pleasing tigerish approach to the game.

Despite a few set pieces Maidenhead failed to seriously trouble goalkeeper Tom Lovelock and so the result eventually ended as expected. So as I made my way back to the scenes of enforced fun in Central London, not much to ponder to the sound of the Durutti Column as Maidenhead continue to vie with Alexander Armstrong for the most Pointless appearances this season. 

The next three games will be vital for the club's prospects in 2014. With Barrow losing 6-0 at home yesterday, hopes must be high that United can continue to enjoy life away from the league with a third Trophy win in six weeks to progress to the last 16 of the competition. The team will certainly be well rested, travelling up on the Friday with an overnight stay up north ahead of the game. Furthermore the league games either side of this tie present ideal opportunities to get out of the bottom two with opposition in struggling Chelmsford and Tonbridge. The former though will be buoyant after two wins in two games following the wise appointment of Heybridge Swifts manager Mark Hawkes, whilst Maidenhead have lost all three games they have played at Tonbridge's Longmead ground.Time for the team to deliver on their promise of August.

White Hawk Down

A good start to the new season with a trip to my favourite footballing county of Sussex to Whitehawk, the Brighton suburb whose football club steamrollered their way to the Isthmian League title last season thanks to their owner's largesse.
A quick dash to the sea by train is followed by a walk along the front in weather far removed from the heatwave in which the country found itself when I went on holiday in late July. With Whitehawk's ground being a good hike from the centre I was glad that the weather was not so bad as to stop the operation of the Volk's Electric Railway which sped me along the coastline to the Marina from which it was a ten minute walk to the ground.

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside

Whilst walking up the interminable drive which led from Wilson Avenue to Whitehawk’s enclosed ground I considered there would be two possible outcomes to the opening day of the season: either the home team’s galacticos would play the Magpies off the park, or Maidenhead would catch the new boys cold and come away with an unexpected three points.

Fortunately it was the latter scenario which came to pass. This was pleasantly unexpected as reflected by pre match odds of 7/2, a gamble that would only have been greater had the bookies heard the team news which saw both stalwart full backs Bobby Behzadi and Leon Solomon withdraw through illness and injury respectively, and striker Michael Malcolm ruled out after failing a late fitness test.

However virtually from the kick off it was clear Maidenhead had the capacity to upset the odds when a Reece Tison-Lascaris through ball set up Richard Pacquette only for the striker to pull his shot wide. It wasn’t long before Whitehawk replied in kind and an entertaining game ensued, the crucial difference being United’s ability to hit the back of the net.

Land of a thousand scaffolding poles

In contrast to the excitement on the pitch the surroundings were quite desperate with the only change to the ground since United’s last visit in 1999 for an FA Cup tie being two temporary stands at either end, with one having a half finished roof and innumerable scaffolding poles. At least the addition of a white hawk on the hill above drew attention away from chalk bank which ran the length of one touchline and was off limits to supporters. Incidentally this was the bank (then covered with grass) where Lee Channell was christened “Porno” back on that sunny summer’s day at the end of the last century.

The White Hawk and Porno's bank

Back to the football, and an intriguing contest was developing with each side taking a different route to goal. The home side exploited the wings, whilst Maidenhead with impressive debutant Adrian Clifton to the fore, passed their way through the centre of the midfield. This approach saw Clifton emulate Pacquette’s miss in the opening minute whilst up the other end Elvijs Putnins did well to tip a Jake Robinson shot around the post.

My view of the first half

Maidenhead then opened the scoring in fortuitous circumstances when a Pacquette cross from the right was met by Danny Green. His effort struck defender Tom Cadmore so the ball looped over the hapless keeper and into the back of the net midway through the first half.

The game continued as before with United still looking dangerous whilst Whitehawk hit the woodwork twice by the interval. The second occasion seeing Tommy Fraser rattle Putnins crossbar with a free kick.

After the break Whitehawk laid siege to the Maidenhead penalty area, but the Magpies responded in kind, showing a great unity of purpose, literally barring the way to goal with black and white shirts. With Clifton moving to right back to replace the injured Mark Nisbet, the Hawks ramped up the pressure but could not quite fashion an equaliser, coming closest when a diving header found its way through a forest of legs only to be met by a tremendous save at full stretch by Putnins.

Inevitably gaps began to open in the home team defence as they committed more and more men forward, giving Maidenhead the opportunity to seal the win. This became a reality with fifteen minutes remaining when Green returned the favour for his goal by swinging a corner from the right to the far post to Pacquette to head home.

Ten minutes later Harry Pritchard applied the coup de grace with the goal of the game, a typically classy strike with his right foot from the edge of the box which curled its way into the far corner.

Thus the final whistle signalled the end to a great opening day performance by the Magpies which by virtue of the margin of victory sent them to the top of the league to provide an opportunity for much celebration in the countless pubs of Brighton.

As for Whitehawk I'm sure this will be a wake up call as to the nature of the standard of Conference South football. The quality of their squad suggests they will be a top half side and surely their aim will be to consolidate on the pitch so they can bring their ground up to standard. Their neighbours Brighton & Hove Albion are the best supported club in the Football League, whilst just up the road Lewes have attracted two 500+ crowds to their opening home games despite being relegated last season. With clearly a keen appetite for football in the area Whitehawk must be embarrassed by a crowd of 150, with Brighton playing up north and Maidenhead providing 20% of the crowd. Surely some covered terracing would help although I guess they are a bit stuck with the currently closed chalk bank along one touchline.I just hope they don't turn into the new Truro.

The original stand set well back from the touchline