Two Wise Men

"There has to be more reality in life... Football is a very small part of the universe... Football is in great danger of people needing something to get them out of their humdrum lives and the worries they've got, and so they expect their team to deliver. Look at Bolton, who got beat fair and square at the weekend, and some of their fans left Wembley so early it was unreal. Yes, the M1 was blocked but they were leaving in the first half. What is that all about? FA Cup semi-final, they might not get there ever again, and because their team didn't give them what they wanted some of them left. Some did it here at the weekend. It's nonsense. We are all trying our best. I've never met a manager or a player who deliberately goes out to lose or doesn't try his best. They might be on a lot of money, a ridiculously obscene amount of money, but they are still trying. It's a funny old world and I just wish everyone health and happiness, but I am not going to lose mine over a game."

"Think quickly, look for spaces. That's what I do: look for spaces. All day. I'm always looking. All day, all day. [Xavi starts gesturing as if he is looking around, swinging his head]. Here? No. There? No. People who haven't played don't always realise how hard that is. Space, space, space. It's like being on the PlayStation. I think shit, the defender's here, play it there. I see the space and pass. That's what I do."

"Quote, Unquote"

“Arsene is outstanding.. He’s even got his name in their name - Arsene, Arsenal - and maybe I should change my name to Black or something."

Best stick to metaphors about badgers Olly...