About Me

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Hammersmith, London, United Kingdom
I'm a director of Maidenhead United Football Club. For ten seasons one of my roles at the club was to produce the match programme. The aim of this blog was to write football related articles for publication in the match programme. In particular I like to write about the representation of football in popular culture, specifically music, film/TV and literature. I also write about matches I attend which generally feature Maidenhead United.

Sunday, 9 September 2012


York Road proved to be the venue for Kevin Heaney's chickens to come home to roost as Truro's financial troubles finally spilled over onto the pitch as Maidenhead United annihilated the Cornish club by scoring seven times without reply in the second half. The ex chairman and his Rolls Royce were of course nowhere to be seen with as usual the faithful supporters left to bear witness to the damage Heaney had wreaked on their club.
Although the previous week had seen Truro slip into administration with a subsequent deduction of ten points, and remained under a transfer embargo, they were still able to field most of the team that had started the season in fair form going into the game in tenth place. Thus the first half, following an early Maidenhead blitz, developed into an even match, leaving BBC Radio Cornwall listeners to my regular updates, which punctuated the commentary of Redruth's rugby match, with the hope of taking something from the game. Maidonians unable to attend were disappointingly not afforded the same service as BBC Radio Berkshire felt unable to take up my offer to do the same during their London Irish commentary.
Maidenhead kicked off buzzing from two wins in the week leading up to the game, David Pratt going close in the 4th minute when his shot was parried by Tim Sandercombe. For all the United pressure though, the Truro defence marshalled by manager Lee Hodges, held firm, and as the half passed the mid point City started to come into the game with Billy Lumley being forced to tip a long range Hodges free kick over the bar. 
It was somewhat against the run of play then that with seven minutes to go to the break Reece Tison-Lascaris gave Maidenhead United lead when he collected a pass from Daniel Brown and thumped the ball passed Sandercombe into the back of the net from just outside the penalty area.
Within four minutes of the restart the young midfielder doubled the lead with a trademark dribble round Sandercombe signalling a second half onslaught which saw my Colemanballs going into overdrive on the radio, ably supported by the massed ranks of the MMS.
Ironically, Pratt with five goals already this season, was the only striker not to get on the scoresheet, his next effort being tipped over the bar by Sandercombe before Tison-Lascaris squeezed in this hat trick to make it 3-0 before his usual departure from the pitch on the hour mark.
His replacement Alex Wall picked up where Tison-Lascaris left off by scoring United's fourth shortly after a Harry Pritchard corner was punched off the line by Sandercombe. Martel Powell then put Paul Semakula in to make it 5-0 with twenty two minutes still left to play. 
By this time it was clear that the fight had gone out of the Truro players. Hardly surprising considering they weren't paid on time in August and given the uncertainty of their short term future. They held the line at five though until the final ten minutes when cliches such as "cricket score" and "throw the towel in" were in order.
First up was the stand out goal of the game when Wall was hacked down by Sandercombe. Bobby Behzadi stepped up to take the spot kick and delivered a Panenka to add insult to injury.
Wall then made it seven himself, but after Pritchard was again denied with a finger tip save by Sandercombe, the striker unselfishly spurned the chance for a hat trick himself by unselfishly squaring the ball to Lee Barney to get on the scoresheet for the first time this season in stoppage time. The final whistle left the scoreline forcing the videprinter to use brackets at 8 (eight) - 0.
The Truro team then creditably walked over to their fans to thank them for their support before exiting the field of play to applause from the Maidenhead supporters in that typically British fashion that never quite crosses the line into being patronising.
So was this the last rites for Truro? Will the statistics from this day ultimately be expunged from the record? With league sponsors Blue Square refusing to price Truro's matches this season it seems like the odds are against their survival and really it must be in the club's interest to ultimately reform lower down  the pyramid. However before that happens there will inevitably be much wrangling off the pitch to clear up the mess left by Heaney. The ownership of both club and ground both appear to be shrouded in mystery. The final outcome will surely judge the ex Chairman as a man blinded by his own hubris, who in jeopardising the very existence of the club he ran, trampled on clubs throughout the south of England with his financial doping tactics. He's not the first to have done so, but with the ever increasing financial regulation of non league football will hopefully become a rare breed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha Ha

George Rolls is another one that this regulation appears not to be eradicating. Still running Kettering despite his ban cocking a snoop at the incompetants at the FA