Lucky Ladders

 Lucky Ladders

Spending over 20 years of married life with someone who is absolutely uninterested in football changed unexpectedly this season thanks to an old fashioned piece of ephemera revived by the internet.

Having been forced to watch Polish non league football as the first, and for some years, only child of a sports mad father, rather soured any prospect of my wife Ewa developing a lifelong love of the game. Instead for her it was linked with feeling frozen and being surrounded by chain smoking men. Thus having got married to a sports mad husband, there was little to no chance of her actually joining me in my obsession, with scant appreciation for the irony that I also supported a non league club.

Instead she waved me off every Saturday, happy with the prospect of a quiet afternoon, having experienced the alternative of me watching football on TV at home which generally led to an exasperated response of “they can’t hear you dear” as I voiced my frustration at the screen.

If I was going to an away match she would generally have little or no idea how far away my destination was, given the small town nature of my club’s league status, with the relatively recent innovation of the WhatsApp location button often leading to a response to my shared pin of “OMG you’re at the end of the world”.

On my return the only scoreline she was concerned with was the number of pints sunk. 

The only exception to this was when I casually mentioned I would be seeing Ryan Reynolds at the match that evening. Initially this was met with disdain only to find myself deluged with messages at half time when it became apparent via social media that he had indeed decided to make his first ever visit to a football match at my club.

All this changed over the course of the last season thanks to the return of one of the delights of my childhood, the league ladders. Given away free with Shoot! magazine at the start of every season, they would allow a diligent child to monitor the progress of clubs across the football leagues of England and Scotland every Sunday, as following the discovery of the league tables in the newspaper, the position of each team could be checked, and if necessary updated by moving it into its new slot.

Easy access to the requisite technology to produce the ladders to order and anyone wanting to buy them via internet marketplaces, led to a resourceful individual selling bespoke groups of ladders, including one featuring solely the National Leagues at steps five and six of the English football pyramid. Personally I found it an easier way to keep up with the relative fortunes of clubs across the divisions, by actively moving them up and down, rather than scanning a league table online.

Purchased in August for under a tenner including postage, I eagerly set about puncturing the team tabs from their packaging in order to set up the tables, neatly set against a backdrop of my team’s star defender Kevin Lokko in action at title winning Bromley the previous season. Sadly that match ended in a humbling 4-1 defeat and proved rather an appropriate theme for the campaign ahead.

A poor start meant my team were already in the relegation places, and after updating the tables I furtively hid the ladders under a pile of papers on the coffee table. However their inevitable discovery by my other half brought a rather unexpected decision that they should instead be attached to the fridge via some of the many magnets gathered on our annual summer holiday. 

The table provided a clear context of my team’s lowly status and inevitably a conversation piece. Being in full view meant there was no escaping the lack of success that the season offered leading to questions after every defeat such as “maybe you need a new goalkeeper?” or “shouldn’t the manager be fired?”. The occasional win would lead to a rare expression of delight, particularly if the sunlit uplands of lower mid table were reached.  

As the season went on, questions would be asked about that day’s opponents with an appropriate response e.g. “oh they’re in second place so I guess you’ll lose”. 

When it became clear that relegation was more than likely, attention turned to the National South division and a review of the likely away match destinations with their much closer proximity to home.

A brief jump up the table which was so unexpected I sent on a screenshot ahead of my journey home  proved to be a false dawn and there was no real hope that the drop would be avoided despite a six match unbeaten run to end the season.

This will prove to be only a fleeting disappointment though in the greater context of finally being able to have a meaningful domestic conversation about the fortunes of Maidenhead United. My first job on arriving back from my summer holiday in August will be to order a 2025/26 set of National League ladders. 

Doing the 92

 92 is a number that, like 147 in snooker and 501 in darts, is inextricably linked to soccer. 

Any supporter who regularly attends matches home and away will generally keep score of how many of the full set of clubs they have visited in the top 4 divisions.

This list will of course change with promotion and relegation as well as ground moves.

Personally it was something I hoped to complete over the course of a lifetime but without any urgency. This was a fact reflected by my first visit being in 1982 and a running total reaching 57 when Maidenhead United played at Oxford United in the FA Cup 1st round in November 2023.

The reason for my relatively low total could be partially excused by the number of stadia like Oxford United's Manor Ground which had since been reduced to rubble thus I resolved to make a concerted effort to make some headway back towards that magic number.

I started slowly last season with only two visits, to Southampton and Walsall. This season though I was given the impetus to regularly seek out new stadia by the unpleasant turn Maidenhead United away trips were taking. This was solely due to my experience off the pitch with stewarding ranging from over zealous to outright oppressive.

Thus I now find myself with a healthy total of 75 and keen to complete the 92 in the next two seasons.

The clubs I have visited span all four divisions and I am pleased to report that having last watched this much professional football 30 years ago, the game appears to be in rude health.

I didn't have a single negative experience, with every club having something to offer, the real difference between the four levels only being the quality of the football.

The biggest improvement has been in marketing, specifically ticketing. Every club allows you to select your own seat, with the resulting ticket saved to your online wallet securing a smooth access to the ground.

Best value was offered by Southampton, Burton and Bradford who all offered entry for £20. The first is an example of a newly built stadium which provided a perfect view of the action, but lacked character just like Hull and Wigan. Colchester, Leicester and Northampton on the other hand already felt in need of renovation.

Occasionally the approach to the stadium was a highlight in itself. A night match at Lincoln offered a spectacular backdrop of the cathedral as you walked along Sincil Bank whilst the way the Oakwell floodlight pylons came into view followed by the ground below as you reached the crest of the hill walking out of town was stunning. In contrast the odd sight of the cars on the M42 appearing to drive across the roof of the away end at Walsall was something of a distraction from the match as I sat in the towering new home stand behind the goal.

The Bescot stadium provided the best facilities for ordinary spectators with a comfortable lounge to look over the pitch whilst you ate your Balti pie. Speaking of food, although much of it lived down to expectations, special mention should be made for Crewe's local ale and pie offer,with the best pies on sale at Fleetwood. Naturally the Bristol Rovers pasty was top notch whilst credit is due to Burton for offering a local delicacy of faggots and peas.

As kick off approached most clubs would attempt to get an atmosphere going. The best all round for film, music and flags was at Derby with credit to Newport for their film and Peterborough for continuing to play “Posh we are”. 

Finally the football was entertaining in line with the level of the club. Top of the list was Leicester beating QPR 6-2 in the Cup, whilst Southampton's 4-0 thrashing of Sheffield Wednesday presaged their successful promotion push.

Best game to watch as a neutral was Rotherham United's topsy turvy last minute win by the odd goal in five at Bristol Rovers.

Worst was a dire game at Newport, with their 1-0 win against Barrow courtesy of an own goal with a cast replete with National League players. I saw 3 other league 2 games this season, with the title chasing team in each match drawing a blank. One of these at Fleetwood was goalless, opponents Wimbledon giving the evening a real non league feel.

My favourite day all round was at Blackburn, thanks mainly to its well appointed stadium set in the suburb of Ewood, where I witnessed an enjoyable 2-1 win for Rovers over Plymouth Argyle.

In summary, in the Kiplingesque spirit of what do they know of Maidenhead United who only Maidenhead United know I would highly recommend a trip to a higher level match of choice. Shorn of partisanship you can appreciate the game as a neutral, the narrative typically developing after 20 minutes or so, in the company of friendly locals who as in the words of the Bradford season ticket holder behind me have been “coming down here for years and seen a lot of shit”.

P-P

 Paradise Postponed

The joy of sport is its unpredictability. Embrace the unlikely turnarounds, the late goals, the controversial decisions because that’s why we spend our more predictable time at work in anticipation of the next match. Sometimes though even this anticipation is unpredictable due to the capricious British weather which every season will cause postponements. Not as many as there used to be, thanks to the big steps forward in ground husbandry and of course synthetic surfaces. So perhaps this is why when they do happen, some will be quick to point the finger at a match official,  whose overriding duty is the safety of the players, or even murmur about a dark conspiracy stemming from the assumed best interest of the home club, especially if the decision is made late. But why not simply embrace this unpredictable event too and take the opportunity to enjoy an afternoon with friends free of the stress of the result?

Looking back on matches I’ve attended which turned up as P-P on the classified check, I firstly recall a midweek trip to Nyewood Lane, Bognor in February 1997. Arriving early at the ground our car full of Maidenhead United fans was greeted by legendary Chairman/Manager Jack Pearce saying “sorry lads not looking good”. He pointed us in the direction of a friendly local pub and said he would call the landlord when the referee arrived. True to his word he did so, with the inevitable news that the journey had been a wasted one as we all sat with a pint watching a big screen showing the infamous goalmouth stramash between Chesterfield and Plymouth Argyle. This turned out to be more exciting than the goalless draw in the rearranged fixture, memorable only for the journey back on the team coach where the fixture secretary insisted on playing a Frank Carson cassette for everyone to enjoy whilst the kitman displayed his knowledge of floodlight installations in the Scottish League.

Into the new century, and my then girlfriend now wife was prompted by a frosty winter to query why a postponed match led to a later and more inebriated return on my part. This happened at least twice, at Gander Green Lane for an afternoon in the sadly now closed Plough opposite the Sutton turnstiles, and at Aldershot, where a thought provoking conversation with a serviceman ensued in The Crimea as the country headed towards the Iraq war. 

All this was topped though by a doomed trip to Kilmarnock to watch Partick Thistle that winter. This followed a successful trip to see the Jags at Ayr United the season before. Booking the admittedly cheap flights from Stansted to Prestwick was seen as risk free due to Killie having undersoil heating so bemusement followed the news of the postponement just after we landed. It turned out that there had been a Scottish National age group game at Rugby Park in midweek, when the heating had been used. This had sparked complaints about the noise from the neighbours so it was switched off only for the temperature to fall low enough for even an afternoon match to be frozen off. With half a day to spare before the flight home our group headed into Glasgow for my first visit to the city, a quick tour of the centre followed by an introduction to the famous Horseshoe Bar, picking up a haggis supper on the way back to the airport.

Next time your match is postponed then, especially if it's a late one,  take the opportunity to enjoy some unexpected time with friends, get to know some strangers or a strange place, and enjoy an enriching afternoon safe in the knowledge that your team hasn’t lost.

All Bets Off

 On the face of it Maidenhead’s comfortable 4-2 win over Bromley towards the end of the 2012/13 season was par for the course in the latter years of Drax’s managerial spell at York Road. A decisive win over opponents with nothing to play for securing the Magpies place in what was then called the Conference South for another season.

My on the whistle match report described a Maidenhead performance where they freely created chances throughout the game backed by the support of injured captain Mark Nisbet wearing his lucky pink shirt and tie. More pertinently I mentioned a Bromley team in disastrous form, losing their eighth consecutive game against a backdrop of off the field problems leading to a demotivated team. This was highlighted by a late red card for the Ravens which left spectators bemused as the away team descended into internal arguments on the pitch, ending the match as a shambles of a team that had been expected to challenge for promotion at the start of the season.

At the start of this current season, the truth was finally revealed. The match had been fixed by Bromley player Moses Swaibu. In a BBC audio series he revealed that this was just one of a whole string of matches that he had influenced in return for money from shadowy foreign gamblers. The extent of the corruption now revealed by Swaibu has drawn into question the integrity of the 2012/13 Conference South league table, reflecting long considered opinions on the malign influence of the betting industry on English football. 

The audio series, presented by Troy Deeney, sees him lead Swaibu through his early career and subsequent descent into match fixing.  It serves as a reminder that the joy of watching football is driven by jeopardy and its general unpredictability. This in turn creates the market for gambling, but just as in wider society poses the challenge to minimise risk by influencing the outcome.

The series begins with a sad tale of Swaibu’s upbringing in the shadow of poverty, brightened by a football talent which sees him progress through the ranks at Crystal Palace with a stellar youth career. As in the case of so many talented youngsters, he found the margins of fortune to be thin, and ended up starting his adult career at Lincoln City. Falling out with successive managers, an older pro spotted Swaibu as someone who could be vulnerable to corruption, and although the bait wasn’t taken at this time the seed had been planted.

A move to Bromley in 2011 tempted by a four figure weekly salary, described by Swaibu as stupid money for the sixth tier of English football, saw him slowly move into a position of influence in the dressing room, encouraged by owner manager Mark Goldberg. Swaibu is scathing about Goldberg’s football knowledge, and it presented an opportunity for him to become a leader at a young age. When he unexpectedly became a father, the temptation to exploit his position became too great. He finally responded to the overtures of the gamblers and began fixing matches for eye watering rewards.

The details of the fixes are fascinating with regard to the number of players required and involved manipulating one aspect of the outcome such as being in a losing position at half time via largely imperceptible strategies such as not making a defensive run or leaving an opponent unmarked.

Soon Swaibu was using his contacts playing across the south east of England, alleging that he was able to call fixes in up to half the clubs in the Conference South division. He was helped by the widely available odds for matches at that level, and the disparity between what the players were paid by their clubs compared to what they could receive for match fixing.

Ironically the league at the time was sponsored by Blue Square, a gambling company now owned by Betfair. Its spokesman Alan Alger was well known in non league circles, and he spoke to Deeney about how his suspicion about what was going on had led him to inform league officials that matches were being fixed on a regular basis. For example more money was reportedly placed on the total goals in one November 2012 Conference League South game than on the equivalent market for a Champions League match involving Barcelona.

Alger said that the league’s response was to hush the matter up, and simply ask Blue Square to close markets for any match where they spotted unexpectedly high levels of activity. This in turn signalled to supporters that something was happening, and it turns out that Bromley’s visit to York Road was to be the day when the whole operation was blown wide open.

As well as supporters calling players out from the terraces, the dressing room had also become split between those in on the fix and those not involved. One of the latter was captain Danny Waldren whom Swaibu called Braveheart, and it was his determination to combat his corrupt team mates that led to his red card and subsequent public outpouring of frustration as he left the pitch.

Watching the footage again, it's striking to hear Maidenhead’s Michael Pook in a post match interview describe his team scoring a series of soft goals. It certainly coloured my memory of that season and adds context to something which was witnessed by Maidenhead fans at the start of the next one.

The opening day of the 2013-14 season saw a trip to Whitehawk which ended in a pleasantly surprising 3-0 for United. After the match whilst waiting for a taxi, a group of supporters overhead some Whitehawk players talking about match fixing. Later that year two were charged with conspiracy to defraud following an investigation by the National Crime Agency. Swaibu was also caught in an NCA sting and ended up in prison.

All of this serves as justification for the FA’s sweeping gambling ban on anyone involved in football at any level and yet doubts still remain about the integrity of the sport. This is not only due to those players who are caught and punished for all to see for simply gambling on football but also thanks to the work of Phillippe Auclair and the Josimar magazine. The latter has highlighted the true nature of some of the gambling organisations sponsoring clubs at the highest level of the game and makes it clear that there is now only one solution that must be taken. Gambling should follow tobacco and alcohol in being banned from advertising in any football related activity.

https://thefishy.co.uk/leaguetable.php?table=21&season=10

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0jlg608

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cd05385k722o

https://youtu.be/a3Dix9YIuL8?si=BwwAcF0H-gFvQxTU

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/25263979

https://x.com/StanisElsborg/status/1755880218294624702

Maidenhead United on the move

 1919 was a somewhat pivotal year in the history of Maidenhead. With the town's two senior clubs both losing many members in the Great War it was decided to amalgamate them.

The merged club was to become known appropriately as Maidenhead United and wear a black and white strip to respect the

colours of both pre war clubs.

Previously Maidenhead FC had been based at York Road wearing black and red kit but it was decided to play the first team's competitive fixtures at Kidwells Park, home of Maidenhead Norfolkians FC who had worn a red and white strip.

The move away from York Road was due to the ground being seen as not fit for senior football as it was shared with the town cricket club. It was initially hoped that the council would build a new ground on the Cordwallis Estate. Thus began a century long ground move saga, the latest chapter of which closed last year when the council called a halt to a move to a new purpose built stadium at Braywick.

Keen football historians may by now be furrowing their brow at the thought of Maidenhead United not playing at York Road, and indeed the stay at Kidwells Park lasted only one season.

In November 1920 York Road was bought from owner Lord Desborough, thanks in no small part to the generosity of

Ernest Dunkels. He also helped finance the 500 seat stand opened in September 1922. The cricket club then moved out and the matter of the Magpies’ location was settled for a generation.

Post World War Two a move was again proposed. This time as part of a brand new sports complex at Braywick to celebrate the 1951 Great Exhibition. This never got beyond the drawing board but by the start of the 60s the ground was starting to hold the club back, as a run of Corinthian League titles proved to be bitter sweet success as elevation to a more senior league was denied due to poor facilities.

The construction of the Bell Street Covered terrace in the mid 60s helped the spectator experience but the 80s property boom saw eager developers beating a path to the boardroom. A project to build  stadium in Bray was floated with the destruction of the 1920s stand in an arson attack seeming to make a move at some stage inevitable.

The fact that the ground was and remains in the ownership of trustees, prevented a leave now, build later approach, which proved to be disastrous for former local rivals Wokingham Town to name but one example, However local politicians very much coveted the town centre site and serious progress was made towards a move to a Thames Water site just across the railway tracks, and then to Summerleaze.

Ominously the main stumbling block over the latter move was the local authority's refusal to grant permission for anything more than a County League set up which effectively settled the moving debate for a decade or more.

It was progress on the pitch which brought the matter to the fore again. The Magpies’ sensational 2017 National League South title season brought step one football to York Road for the first time and with the requirement to develop a stadium fit for the football league. Needless to say the plans for this required significant investment, not to mention the possibility of having to temporarily groundshare whilst the work was done.

This sparked conversations with a more biddable local authority about a move to Braywick, as part of the redevelopment of the whole town centre. An incredibly thorough plan was drawn up in conjunction with the local Athletics club to create facilities which would not only provide a state of the art football stadium but also a much needed recreational Athletics track and football pitches for the local community.

Steady progress was made clearing all the obstacles in the path of starting construction, and in 2022 a proposal to purchase the land was put forward, the final step before planning permission was applied for.

Unfortunately this was effectively the end of the project. As the local Conservative authority stagnated in the manner of its national counterpart, deadlines were missed and the putative new ruling Lib Dem led coalition started to cast aspersions about the move.

Almost as soon as they were swept into power they cancelled the Braywick project, backed by an unholy coalition of disgruntled ex Tories, Nimbys,  an egregious Rugby club chairman, and naked anti football prejudice.

A brave supporter led campaign  to overturn the decision last autumn was contemptuously overturned by the council who refused to even debate the petition backed by thousands of Maidonians.

A club now United in every sense of the word went onto secure National League football for an eighth successive season, and the recent transfer windfall from ex Magpie Max Kilman's move from Wolves to West Ham does at least offer the prospect of some redevelopment at York Road. The worry now is what will end up surrounding the ground, and what limits the residents occupying the planned neighbouring tower blocks may seek to place on the club.

Whatever happens next, the only certainty is that change continues to be a requirement for Maidenhead United FC.