Heading back south

 Heading back south

In the summer Maidenhead returned to the National League South, having spent eight campaigns living the high life in the National division. With almost a quarter of the season gone, here are my thoughts on what had been hitherto the Magpies' natural habitat.

Firstly it makes a change to be looking at the top rather than the bottom of the table. Currently Maidenhead are meeting the expectations of a play off budget which comes with it more modest expectations of opponents who generally arrive at York Road that they “start with a point”. Fortunately the signing of the season Josh Popoola has demonstrated the creativity to unlock the most miserly of defences.

Given this is effectively division six it is not surprising that defensive mistakes are commonplace which leads to the division being relatively competitive. No one would have predicted Hornchurch or Weston-super-mare to be the early pacesetters whilst big spending Dagenham have struggled. It feels like any team could beat another on any given Saturday.

All in all there is now more money at this level. Whereas in the past there would typically be one full time outfit, whether that be an ex league club like Newport or Wimbledon, or a nouveau riches one like Eastleigh or Ebbsfleet, depending on how you measure it there now appears to be at least half a dozen who would fit this category. 

This is funded in at least part by bigger attendances. In United’s 2017 title winning season the division average was 586. It's currently more than double that at 1,242. This reflects the fact that non league football has now caught up with the 90s English attendance boom, helped by better facilities and a post COVID desire for an authentic live experience. 

Off the pitch, matchdays are much better at this level. Altogether everything is more low key and friendly, more like the end to end ethos of non league. Drinking alcohol on the terraces can split opinion but one benefit is the end of the rush to down a pint as kick off approaches or during half time. My two awaydays so far this season, at Enfield and Maidstone, have despite only one goal between the teams across two matches been good days out, thanks in part to a warm welcome followed by supporters freely mixing on the terraces.

The bigger attendances have in some cases led to unrealistic expectations of players and match officials fuelled by hubristic social media. Artificial surfaces abound, with almost half the clubs having one. Not loved by players, I’m agnostic on their use. The community benefits are wonderful as is the certainty of matches not being affected by the weather.

As I write these notes I’ve just read the shambolic scheduling of National League matches across the weekend before Christmas. One aspect of higher level football I certainly don’t miss.

Its not big and its not clever

 There is much talk in this esteemed publication of BELTS, indeed each copy comes with a warning on the front cover, such is the phenomenon of supporters of Bitter Ex League Teams moaning about the inconvenience of having to suffer non league football. However there is one aspect in which I would happily place former Football League clubs as streets ahead of many of their lesser peers in the National League, it's the treatment of away fans.

For some years now several traditional non league clubs with ideas above their station have treated away fans as at best an inconvenience and at worse a group to treat with active hostility. This was first noticed at Boreham Wood who in the National League South deemed away fans were not allowed in their clubhouse, soon followed in this policy by Eastleigh. I hasten to add that throughout this article I am not talking about a response to a specific incident or general reputation, I mean come on lads we’re from Maidenhead United!

Soon after Maidenhead’s promotion in 2017,  Barnet decided to indulge in behaviour which was neither big nor clever, seeking to squeeze what was for once a sizeable Magpie following into as small a section of their massive stand behind the goal as possible, which led to people having to stand up due to lack of seats, a policy later copied by Aldershot as away supporters, who were confined to just one block of their railway side stand, could only look longingly at the vacant “away” section of the north bank to their right.

Having taken over 200 supporters to that first match at the Hive, the number of travelling Magpies to that fixture reduced to double figures for all the following fixtures. In response the Bees tea bar menu consisted of one item: a Pot Noodle! 

Fortunately the above examples remained very much the exception until the last 18 months of our stay in the top tier of non league football. Sadly a wider pattern then began to emerge which led to a personal disillusionment  with going to away matches, as it felt like things were back full circle to the awful 80s when I first started watching live football as an away fan.

A trip to Altrincham in February 2024 was in the main a great away day. Welcoming home fans and great local pubs topped off with a terrific win to kick start a successful relegation battle. However at the ground only one section was cash only, an away end which also failed to supply any hot food. Nevertheless there was enough money to pay thirteen stewards to watchfully monitor the forty odd away fans. Matters took a farcical turn at half time when the club secretary Neil Maskell wandered across the pitch to the away end to talk to some of the supporters. Standing at the front he beckoned a few down, who were instantly surrounded by stewards, such was the perceived threat to Neil even though we were winning!

In the reverse of Altrincham, Woking stewards were keen to search supporters' wallets to ensure the away end was wholly cashless. Supporters were able to sit or stand but could not switch between the two when it started to rain due to “regulations”.  

A few weeks later a trip to Dagenham saw the Magpies stuck in one corner of the big stand behind the goal, despite having to walk past all the home fans to get to that block and freely mingling with them in the bar under the stand at half time. There was one red line that could not be crossed. Two elderly supporters, both in their 70s, pushed aside some of the black netting at the front of the stand so they could have a clear view of the pitch. Cue panic from the stewards who were clearly intent on forcibly moving the couple if they did not go quietly.

By the autumn of 2024 I had had enough. At Tamworth my 50 something friends and I were tracked by police from the station to the CAMRA pub of the year, presumably worried about notorious real ale hooligans. At Boston Reece Smith celebrated a tremendous goal which completed a 2-1 turn around by running towards the delirious Maidenhead supporters on the adjacent side terrace. As he did so, one fan made his way to the front, to embrace Reece, clearly remaining behind the barrier. He was jumped on by two stewards and was only prevented from ejection by the intervention of myself and another supporter. 

The nadir was then reached at Sutton, a ground I had been to on numerous occasions over the previous twenty five years, always receiving a warm welcome, with no segregation and subsequently many a pint in their clubhouse. This time though it was a very different atmosphere at Gander Green Lane. Away supporters were directed to the far side of the ground, thoroughly searched and patted down, with no seats available. There was little incident in the first half or so we thought, until half time when the stewards randomly decided to eject two supporters. This was due to a report from the referee that the linesman had been unacceptably abused. Initial inquiries suggested this was racist in nature, which met with a quizzical look as the male official was the same ethnicity as the vast majority of the supporters. It was then revealed that he was upset at being called bald. As someone who is also follically challenged, I found this bizarre in the extreme. OK it's a bit of a pain having to take longer to wash your face in the morning but I manage to cope as a school teacher with the verbal barbs of my students without ejecting them from the class. 

To add further context to the incident the touchline is quite some distance from the ‘shoebox’ terrace in this part of the ground. In no way were people able to lean over the touchline barrier and whisper sweet nothings in the lino’s ear. Still the stewards were clear they had to do something so with no idea of who actually unleashed this horrific abuse, they simply picked on a young man who they were confident they could physically intimidate into leaving early. For good measure they threw his dad out for trying to stick up for his son. 

After the game I decided it wasn’t worth the aggravation of spending my Saturday afternoons putting up with this kind of atmosphere so I effectively stopped going to away matches for a while. Thus I missed a few weeks later Solihull stewards delivering an utterly confusing policy as to which parts of the away end supporters could or couldn’t stand in.

Towards the end of the season Maidenhead faced a winner takes all relegation battle at Wealdstone. This was one ground I had no hesitation in going to, even if it had been a meaningless end of season match. As expected, despite the tension on the pitch, supporters gathered together beforehand for a pre match drink in the clubhouse. The match itself was a frustrating 1-1 draw which pleased neither team, although there was no rancour on the terraces between supporters. So we all trudged back round from the away end to the bar only to be met by 7 (seven) officers of the law to see us off the premises. It must have been a good afternoon to be a shoplifter in Ruislip!

Fixed

 Following my piece in an earlier edition of Where’s The Bar, summarising the excellent BBC audio series investigating Moses Swaibu’s role in National League South match fixing in the 2012/13 season, I was fascinated to find out more about this blight on the game. This was particularly due to the personal impact it had on my view of a time when I was more heavily involved in the day to day life of a National League South club.

Thus in June I attended an open seminar at Birkbeck University when Swaibu was interviewed, followed by a panel discussion with a range of individuals involved in the gambling industry, and the study and enforcement of sporting integrity.

The panel expanded on the general problem of match fixing in sport as a whole, starting with non league football. Those present heard that at the start of the century an unofficial summer bonus scheme operated whereby teams who were safe from relegation and unable to get promoted would routinely manufacture outcomes of the final few games between them. This was seen as a way of boosting players' income when contracts would be for the season only. This was stopped in 2009 following an FA investigation into a Blue Square Premier (now Enterprise National League) match between Grays Athletic and Forest Green Rovers when suspiciously high sums of money were placed on an outcome with odds of 22/1.

Swaibu went onto detail his sad descent into match fixing, stating that in his view players at twelve clubs were fixing matches in the Blue Square South (now Enterprise National League South) during the 2012/13 season.  Fellow panellist Alan Alger, who was then liaising between Blue Square (a betting company), and the league, explained that he brought to the attention of the board suspicious betting patterns. The most famous example of this came when a market on a Billericay Town v Hornchurch midweek match in March 2013 attracted more money than the same one for a Champions League match involving Barcelona on the same night.

Alger said the league were keen to keep this quiet, Swaibu confirming that the only consequence was a poster that appeared in dressing rooms warning players of the consequences of being caught match fixing. 

I asked Swaibu if in his view the division should be declared null and void for that season. He agreed. At the end of the evening I bought his book and although poorly edited, it's an eye opening read both in terms of the tragic circumstances of his upbringing, and the way matches were fixed. As an aside there is also a revelation of how Bromley Chairman Mark Goldberg paid players half by cheque, half in cash. One can only speculate as to why a club might do this.

I’ve listed below the matches he identifies in the book where he was involved in fixing the outcome, the inference is that there were many more of which he was unaware. The one that stands out is the match at Hayes Lane against Hayes & Yeading United. Swaibu describes how this was the first occasion when players from both teams met pre match to decide how the fix would play out. In hindsight, the youtube highlights are quite damning, particularly for the penalty decision and red card.

At the end of the season the organisation behind the match fixing decided their next target would be the National League North, and attempted to buy Alfreton Town with a view to controlling their results. This failed and signalled the end of this particular story but the ensuing panel discussion gave much food for thought.

There is currently no criminal offence of match fixing in the UK. In the USA, negative markets, e.g. a player to get booked are banned, nevertheless Mafiosos are turning themselves into the FBI to go into witness protection for what they know about NCAA match fixing. It was claimed that FIFA World Cup group matches have been fixed this century, and a high profile player based in the UK is currently under investigation facing a life ban.

The key problem currently is gambling online. Lower league football is seen as cannon fodder for problem gamblers making match data a prized asset. The absence of any governance of data companies who sell data to betting companies on behalf of governing bodies was seen as a real achilles heel. Furthermore Chinese companies were using students to collect data on all sorts of grassroots football begging the question at what level is football too vulnerable to match fixing?

All in all a thoroughly depressing topic but one that is only liking to become more so. A real case of any rose tint to my spectacles absolutely disappearing when it comes to football.

Matches Moses Swaibu states his book ‘Fixed’ that he was involved in fixing:

Blue Square South

21/8/12         Eastbourne Borough         3 Bromley         0

29/12/12         Tonbridge Angels         0 Bromley         3

19/2/13         Hayes & Yeading United         1 Bromley         1

23/2/13         Billericay Town                            2      Bromley         3 

26/3/13         Staines Town         3 Bromley         1

6/4/13         Weston-super-mare         3 Bromley         0

13/4/13         Bromley                 0 Hayes & Yeading United 4

16/4/13         Eastleigh                 3 Bromley         0

20/4/13         Maidenhead United                4 Bromley         2

https://www.bbk.ac.uk/events/event/50513/fixed-my-secret-life-as-a-match-fixer-moses-swaibu

Lucky Ladders

 Lucky Ladders

Spending over 20 years of married life with someone who is absolutely uninterested in football changed unexpectedly this season thanks to an old fashioned piece of ephemera revived by the internet.

Having been forced to watch Polish non league football as the first, and for some years, only child of a sports mad father, rather soured any prospect of my wife Ewa developing a lifelong love of the game. Instead for her it was linked with feeling frozen and being surrounded by chain smoking men. Thus having got married to a sports mad husband, there was little to no chance of her actually joining me in my obsession, with scant appreciation for the irony that I also supported a non league club.

Instead she waved me off every Saturday, happy with the prospect of a quiet afternoon, having experienced the alternative of me watching football on TV at home which generally led to an exasperated response of “they can’t hear you dear” as I voiced my frustration at the screen.

If I was going to an away match she would generally have little or no idea how far away my destination was, given the small town nature of my club’s league status, with the relatively recent innovation of the WhatsApp location button often leading to a response to my shared pin of “OMG you’re at the end of the world”.

On my return the only scoreline she was concerned with was the number of pints sunk. 

The only exception to this was when I casually mentioned I would be seeing Ryan Reynolds at the match that evening. Initially this was met with disdain only to find myself deluged with messages at half time when it became apparent via social media that he had indeed decided to make his first ever visit to a football match at my club.

All this changed over the course of the last season thanks to the return of one of the delights of my childhood, the league ladders. Given away free with Shoot! magazine at the start of every season, they would allow a diligent child to monitor the progress of clubs across the football leagues of England and Scotland every Sunday, as following the discovery of the league tables in the newspaper, the position of each team could be checked, and if necessary updated by moving it into its new slot.

Easy access to the requisite technology to produce the ladders to order and anyone wanting to buy them via internet marketplaces, led to a resourceful individual selling bespoke groups of ladders, including one featuring solely the National Leagues at steps five and six of the English football pyramid. Personally I found it an easier way to keep up with the relative fortunes of clubs across the divisions, by actively moving them up and down, rather than scanning a league table online.

Purchased in August for under a tenner including postage, I eagerly set about puncturing the team tabs from their packaging in order to set up the tables, neatly set against a backdrop of my team’s star defender Kevin Lokko in action at title winning Bromley the previous season. Sadly that match ended in a humbling 4-1 defeat and proved rather an appropriate theme for the campaign ahead.

A poor start meant my team were already in the relegation places, and after updating the tables I furtively hid the ladders under a pile of papers on the coffee table. However their inevitable discovery by my other half brought a rather unexpected decision that they should instead be attached to the fridge via some of the many magnets gathered on our annual summer holiday. 

The table provided a clear context of my team’s lowly status and inevitably a conversation piece. Being in full view meant there was no escaping the lack of success that the season offered leading to questions after every defeat such as “maybe you need a new goalkeeper?” or “shouldn’t the manager be fired?”. The occasional win would lead to a rare expression of delight, particularly if the sunlit uplands of lower mid table were reached.  

As the season went on, questions would be asked about that day’s opponents with an appropriate response e.g. “oh they’re in second place so I guess you’ll lose”. 

When it became clear that relegation was more than likely, attention turned to the National South division and a review of the likely away match destinations with their much closer proximity to home.

A brief jump up the table which was so unexpected I sent on a screenshot ahead of my journey home  proved to be a false dawn and there was no real hope that the drop would be avoided despite a six match unbeaten run to end the season.

This will prove to be only a fleeting disappointment though in the greater context of finally being able to have a meaningful domestic conversation about the fortunes of Maidenhead United. My first job on arriving back from my summer holiday in August will be to order a 2025/26 set of National League ladders. 

Doing the 92

 92 is a number that, like 147 in snooker and 501 in darts, is inextricably linked to soccer. 

Any supporter who regularly attends matches home and away will generally keep score of how many of the full set of clubs they have visited in the top 4 divisions.

This list will of course change with promotion and relegation as well as ground moves.

Personally it was something I hoped to complete over the course of a lifetime but without any urgency. This was a fact reflected by my first visit being in 1982 and a running total reaching 57 when Maidenhead United played at Oxford United in the FA Cup 1st round in November 2023.

The reason for my relatively low total could be partially excused by the number of stadia like Oxford United's Manor Ground which had since been reduced to rubble thus I resolved to make a concerted effort to make some headway back towards that magic number.

I started slowly last season with only two visits, to Southampton and Walsall. This season though I was given the impetus to regularly seek out new stadia by the unpleasant turn Maidenhead United away trips were taking. This was solely due to my experience off the pitch with stewarding ranging from over zealous to outright oppressive.

Thus I now find myself with a healthy total of 75 and keen to complete the 92 in the next two seasons.

The clubs I have visited span all four divisions and I am pleased to report that having last watched this much professional football 30 years ago, the game appears to be in rude health.

I didn't have a single negative experience, with every club having something to offer, the real difference between the four levels only being the quality of the football.

The biggest improvement has been in marketing, specifically ticketing. Every club allows you to select your own seat, with the resulting ticket saved to your online wallet securing a smooth access to the ground.

Best value was offered by Southampton, Burton and Bradford who all offered entry for £20. The first is an example of a newly built stadium which provided a perfect view of the action, but lacked character just like Hull and Wigan. Colchester, Leicester and Northampton on the other hand already felt in need of renovation.

Occasionally the approach to the stadium was a highlight in itself. A night match at Lincoln offered a spectacular backdrop of the cathedral as you walked along Sincil Bank whilst the way the Oakwell floodlight pylons came into view followed by the ground below as you reached the crest of the hill walking out of town was stunning. In contrast the odd sight of the cars on the M42 appearing to drive across the roof of the away end at Walsall was something of a distraction from the match as I sat in the towering new home stand behind the goal.

The Bescot stadium provided the best facilities for ordinary spectators with a comfortable lounge to look over the pitch whilst you ate your Balti pie. Speaking of food, although much of it lived down to expectations, special mention should be made for Crewe's local ale and pie offer,with the best pies on sale at Fleetwood. Naturally the Bristol Rovers pasty was top notch whilst credit is due to Burton for offering a local delicacy of faggots and peas.

As kick off approached most clubs would attempt to get an atmosphere going. The best all round for film, music and flags was at Derby with credit to Newport for their film and Peterborough for continuing to play “Posh we are”. 

Finally the football was entertaining in line with the level of the club. Top of the list was Leicester beating QPR 6-2 in the Cup, whilst Southampton's 4-0 thrashing of Sheffield Wednesday presaged their successful promotion push.

Best game to watch as a neutral was Rotherham United's topsy turvy last minute win by the odd goal in five at Bristol Rovers.

Worst was a dire game at Newport, with their 1-0 win against Barrow courtesy of an own goal with a cast replete with National League players. I saw 3 other league 2 games this season, with the title chasing team in each match drawing a blank. One of these at Fleetwood was goalless, opponents Wimbledon giving the evening a real non league feel.

My favourite day all round was at Blackburn, thanks mainly to its well appointed stadium set in the suburb of Ewood, where I witnessed an enjoyable 2-1 win for Rovers over Plymouth Argyle.

In summary, in the Kiplingesque spirit of what do they know of Maidenhead United who only Maidenhead United know I would highly recommend a trip to a higher level match of choice. Shorn of partisanship you can appreciate the game as a neutral, the narrative typically developing after 20 minutes or so, in the company of friendly locals who as in the words of the Bradford season ticket holder behind me have been “coming down here for years and seen a lot of shit”.

P-P

 Paradise Postponed

The joy of sport is its unpredictability. Embrace the unlikely turnarounds, the late goals, the controversial decisions because that’s why we spend our more predictable time at work in anticipation of the next match. Sometimes though even this anticipation is unpredictable due to the capricious British weather which every season will cause postponements. Not as many as there used to be, thanks to the big steps forward in ground husbandry and of course synthetic surfaces. So perhaps this is why when they do happen, some will be quick to point the finger at a match official,  whose overriding duty is the safety of the players, or even murmur about a dark conspiracy stemming from the assumed best interest of the home club, especially if the decision is made late. But why not simply embrace this unpredictable event too and take the opportunity to enjoy an afternoon with friends free of the stress of the result?

Looking back on matches I’ve attended which turned up as P-P on the classified check, I firstly recall a midweek trip to Nyewood Lane, Bognor in February 1997. Arriving early at the ground our car full of Maidenhead United fans was greeted by legendary Chairman/Manager Jack Pearce saying “sorry lads not looking good”. He pointed us in the direction of a friendly local pub and said he would call the landlord when the referee arrived. True to his word he did so, with the inevitable news that the journey had been a wasted one as we all sat with a pint watching a big screen showing the infamous goalmouth stramash between Chesterfield and Plymouth Argyle. This turned out to be more exciting than the goalless draw in the rearranged fixture, memorable only for the journey back on the team coach where the fixture secretary insisted on playing a Frank Carson cassette for everyone to enjoy whilst the kitman displayed his knowledge of floodlight installations in the Scottish League.

Into the new century, and my then girlfriend now wife was prompted by a frosty winter to query why a postponed match led to a later and more inebriated return on my part. This happened at least twice, at Gander Green Lane for an afternoon in the sadly now closed Plough opposite the Sutton turnstiles, and at Aldershot, where a thought provoking conversation with a serviceman ensued in The Crimea as the country headed towards the Iraq war. 

All this was topped though by a doomed trip to Kilmarnock to watch Partick Thistle that winter. This followed a successful trip to see the Jags at Ayr United the season before. Booking the admittedly cheap flights from Stansted to Prestwick was seen as risk free due to Killie having undersoil heating so bemusement followed the news of the postponement just after we landed. It turned out that there had been a Scottish National age group game at Rugby Park in midweek, when the heating had been used. This had sparked complaints about the noise from the neighbours so it was switched off only for the temperature to fall low enough for even an afternoon match to be frozen off. With half a day to spare before the flight home our group headed into Glasgow for my first visit to the city, a quick tour of the centre followed by an introduction to the famous Horseshoe Bar, picking up a haggis supper on the way back to the airport.

Next time your match is postponed then, especially if it's a late one,  take the opportunity to enjoy some unexpected time with friends, get to know some strangers or a strange place, and enjoy an enriching afternoon safe in the knowledge that your team hasn’t lost.