The Educated Left Foot

Good Old Sussex By The Sea

2012-01-29T10:31:00.000Z

Unlike Hampshire, Sussex is a favourite footballing county of mine, the disappointment of Lewes' relegation last season being salved by their replacement by Eastbourne Borough. My train journey down to the game reflected this county of contrasts: beginning with Gatwick Airport, then followed by the lush green fields and rolling hills best viewed from the Balcombe viaduct before arriving at bohemian Brighton. A change of trains saw me heading across the flatlands just behind the coast pausing at arty Lewes before arriving at Eastbourne a town that I can find no other adjective to use but nice.

A billboard near the station advertising the game was the only sign that it was taking place the busy shopping centre being devoid of any noticeable local football fans. A stop in Greggs for lunch brought a wry smile as the French couple behind me in the queue asked for some croissants. I wonder if Britain's national boulanger was up to scratch?

Eastbourne Borough's Priory Lane ground is at the very edge of the town and was reached after a long bus ride through a succession of pleasant valley Sunday housing estates. Maidenhead United's plans for an out of town relocation may be dead but if they had come to pass Eastbourne Borough had the template for success. A bustling social club is bettered by a pretty much perfect ground for this level particularly considering its a new build. Covered terracing on three sides is complemented by a stand with unobstructed views. Corporate hospitality is neatly accommodated above one goal, tidied away from the throng.

At kick off, the strong low winter sun saw the teams switch ends, Maidenhead presumably winning the toss so that Borough keeper Clark Masters would be forced to squint for 45 minutes. The country end of the ground was far enough away from civilisation to have no trace of a phone signal which meant my tweets disappeared into the ether.

So the Twittersphere was unaware of Maidenhead's strong start to the game which led to the Magpies taking what turned out to be an unassailable two goal lead. With Eastbourne managerless and losing key central defender Gary Elphick to Eastleigh, they were a team ready for the taking and after ten minutes of stating their intent the Magpies struck twice before the quarter hour mark.

The first goal came from a free kick, the ball being swung over from the right flank to the edge of the six yard box where it was met by the head of Leigh Henry whose firm contact guided the ball wide of Masters and into the back of the net. Little more than a minute had passed before Alex Wall made it two nil with a shot from the edge of the penalty area which scuttled in at the far post.

As both teams came to terms with the state of the match attentioned turned to the terraces where Maidenhead fans were sporting a splendid monochromatic flag and were joined behind the goal by a group of One Direction wannabes. They proved to be our companions throughout the game and although their vocabulary was largely limited to two words they provided good entertainment with their anthems of internecine Sussex rivalry. When questioned as to the fortunes of their beloved Borough though they revealed they were actually Crystal Palace fans as shown by their Eastbourne adapted renditions of the Holmesdale tifosi's songbook.

As the half drew on Eastbourne worked hard to get back into the game but the Magpies determination meant the score remained the same. Two events exemplified this attitude: a brave block by Reece Tison-Lascaris which saw him winded by a ball blasted at him at point blank range then disappointingly booed by the home fans for having the temerity to go to ground. Then as the clock was about to tick into stoppage time a superb last ditch challenge from Jon Scarborough prevented a good goal scoring opportunity.

After the break Eastbourne continued to push to get a toehold in the game, Billy Lumley dealing efficiently with anything that breached the backline in his customary no nonsense fashion. It was Maidenhead and specifically Alex Wall who came nearest to scoring, testing Masters enough to come close to a hat trick. Now joined by ex Lewes manager Steve King behind the goal, there was much food for thought if he is in the frame for the Eastbourne job as rumour and circumstance suggest. Deep into stoppage time Eastbourne almost scored a consolation, Carl Rook's effort rattling the wood work, but just like at Salisbury the electronic scoreboard remained at 2-0 throughout the second half to give Maidenhead a January double over the team from Sussex. There seem to be enough poor teams in the relegation places to buffer Eastbourne's worrying slide down the table, and Maidenhead's nine point advantage over the third bottom spot should cover the up coming double fixtures against promotion chasing Woking and Dartford in this season's bizarre fixture list.

So I was able to scurry off into the night across the fields to Pevensey & Westham station with Maurice to enjoy a journey home basking in the warm glow of another win on the road for the Magpies which should last until I see the Magpies play again in a month's time.

Good luck Tumble

2012-01-21T22:07:00.000Z

The return of Richie Goddard from his annual winter retreat to South East Asia brought news that he'd been in contact with former Maidenhead manager John "Tumble" Dreyer about his move from Stevenage to Preston North End as assistant to new manager Graham Westley. Richie was keen to pass on John's best wishes to everyone at the club which reflects his conscientious attitude whilst he was at York Road and doubtless has led him to an increasingly successful career off the pitch. Likewise I'm really happy that he's continued his move up the English football ladder, which began when he led the Magpies into the Alliance South in 2004.

Having said that it looks like he's in for a hell of a job at Deepdale, a club deep in debt and seriously underachieving. My view on the appointment of Westley and his team is that it has parallels with that of John Beck in the early 90s when he replaced caretaker Sam Allardyce (wonder what happened to him). Both had great success in the lower divisions gaining a reputation as a tough operator playing no nonsense football. Hopefully there will be the same transformative effect at a club for which I have a great affection. If history repeats itself Westley won't quite win promotion and he will be replaced by Tumble who will go on and win the title!

Lumley leads relief of the Alamo

2012-01-21T21:03:00.000Z

With Man of the match Billy Lumley in the John Wayne role Maidenhead worked their socks off this afternoon to earn a point against a powerful Sutton side. With this season's memory scarred by a first half humbling at Gander Green Lane, I approached this match in trepidation of a repeat particularly with Mark Nisbet on the sidelines, the centre back's withdrawal through injury at Havant last week being seen unanimously by those who went as being instrumental in the Magpies' late collapse.

Guided by Paul Telfer at the back, Sutton again looked set to swamp Maidenhead having an early penalty shout turned down, and almost catching Lumley out with a speculative cross come shot, but it was the Magpies who took the lead in the seventh minute. With the Sutton defence pushing up, Alex Wall slipped through the offside trap, haring down the right wing before crossing to Manny Williams who scored with ease. Sutton responded instantly when Anthony Riviere ran through the Maidenhead defence to score.

Sutton then set up camp in the Maidenhead half until the break, the Magpie midfield providing only a buttery blockade for the pacy Sutton knives to run through. With Maidenhead effectively playing two wingers on either midfield flank in the shape of Max Worsfold and Reece Tison-Lascaris, the defence was afforded little protection from the amber onslaught but held up admirably, particularly when full backs Leon Solomon and Bobby Behzadi were switched over.

Despite their penetration up the pitch Sutton lacked a finisher and Lumley dealt comfortably with their frequent goal attempts which tended to be shots from the edge of the penalty area. Thus there was little for the massed scouts from Cambridge, Watford and Wycombe to see in the Sutton front line, the best chance being spurned when Craig Watkins ran clear only for Lumley to save with his legs.

The Maidenhead forward pairing of Wall and Williams worked like trojans to chase down the Sutton missiles repelled and returned by the defence, Williams applying a delightful finish from distance which unfortunately meant nothing thanks to an offside flag. Wall went close to scoring two minutes ahead of the interval but the overall feeling at the break was one of relief that Maidenhead had hung on to keep the score level.

The introduction of Daniel Brown and Paul Semakula for the second half bolstered the Maidenhead midfield enough to make the game more of a balanced contest albeit one in which Sutton remained on top and so genuine attempts on goal became rarer. The roar of the large travelling support wasn't enough to convince the referee to interpret Michael Pook's last ditch tackle on Moses Odubajo as illegal early on in the half and by the time Harry Beautyman's free kick deep in stoppage whistled past the angle of post and crossbar Maidenhead had done enough to earn a point and continue the Magpies excellent league record against the Us at York Road, unbeaten in the clubs' last six meetings.

Return of Le Roi

2012-01-10T21:34:00.000Z

They say never go back. How many comebacks see the fans watching an idol have feet of clay, leaving them to pine for his glory days? Probably most them, but not Thierry Henry. Helped by a hard working but shotshy supporting cast of 21, Henry emerged from the shadow of the touchline to take centre stage with twenty two minutes to go then steal the show with his 78th minute.

To be honest the game was in desperate need of this injection of Hollywood heroism. I say Hollywood rather than Roy of the Rovers as in this case top special effects were required to make a statue come back to life! Prior to Henry's arrival the game had reached stalemate. An Arsenal midfield led by the masterly Arteta accompanied by Ramsey and Song snuffed out any hope of an upset but despite having all the play the Gunners attack rarely troubled Andy Lonergan.
On the plus side this would have been a valuable experience for the young Oxlade-Chamberlain who was harried all night whilst although Arshavin's endeavour only revealed a woeful lack of form at least he might have played himself in for a Premier League stint to cover Gervinho's absence. As for Chamakh he might as well have joined up with Morocco for the African Nations Cup on schedule, his evening reaching a nadir when he missed an open goal, fortunately not mattering much due to an earlier linesman's flag.
The other plus was the lack of Arsenal potency meant there was little to ratchet up the Leeds fans' seemingly permanent state of indignant anger, particularly after they had to put up with an extreme close up of Savage and Keown when ESPN set up in front of the away end pre match.
The story of the game then was the entry of the man with the longest socks in football. With Henry kept waiting on the touchline as the ball remained in play for a long spell, the ground rose in ovation at his arrival, the bloke on my left almost priapic in his anticipation which following the goal led to the inevitable explosion of exuberant joy in one of those hug strangers moments when everyone is happy to dispense with the usual English reserve.
The last word almost fell to another ex Premier League striker when a Mikael Forsell shot brought a good save out of Szczesny but the night belonged to Henry with a result which must have had the bookies in tears.

Last minute Wall breakthrough gives Magpies hard earned win

2012-01-08T09:21:00.000Z

From a Maidenhead United point of view the game followed a perfect script yesterday. The Magpies slowly taking control of the game, increasing the pressure in the second half to the point where the goal finally arrived in stoppage time at the death. Aside from the the three points the win also ensured there would be no slipping back to the awful form prior to Richard Pacquette's arrival, the striker having left again in midweek to join Lincoln City.

Eastbourne had the better of the opening stages with some deep crosses slicing open the Maidenhead defence. One of these led to a one handed save lowdown by Billy Lumley from the head of Carl Rook in the twentieth minute which turned out to be the closest Borough came to scoring all afternoon. By this time Martel Powell was starting to make his presence felt on the right wing feeding the trademark powerful runs of Alex Wall. The salient feature of the half though was a running battle between either sides creative outlets Ashan Holgate and Gary Hart, both wearing the number ten shirt. Holgate received a caution which may have been deserved but nevertheless it was still disappointing to see Hart encouraging this by waving an imaginary card at the referee. The feud was ended when Holgate was withdrawn at the interval in favour of Paul Semakula.

Kicking down the slope in the second half the Magpies gradually set up camp in the Eastbourne half, with goal attempts instigated by Wall free kicks or right wing crosses from Powell or Reece Tison-Lascaris. These often led to corners which ultimately paid dividends however Eastbourne also provided a counter attacking threat to keep the Magpie defence busy.

At times though it looked like being one of those days when the ball just wouldn't cross the line. Semakula wasted two great chances to score from close range, one flashing past the goal the other being cleared off the line. With fifteen minutes to go the crowd gasped when the ball fell to Leigh Henry on the edge of the box and his rasping shot hit the post. Jermaine Hinds netted the rebound but was clearly offside.

As the clock ticked past the ninety minute mark Wall stepped up again to take a free kick. Having blasted several earlier attempts low, this time he bent the ball around the wall only for goalkeeper Clark Masters to tip the ball over the bar. Wall was waiting on the line for the resulting corner bundling the ball in to score the winner and receive an odd caution for celebrating with the corner flag.

The final whistle soon arrived to signal a tireless Magpie performance fully deserving of the three points with their opponents looking dead on their feet. With the win allowing United to scale the dizzy heights of fourteenth place, a whole seven points above the relegation zone, hopefully 2012 will see a more comfortable league position maintained by the Magpies.

Crafty Cottagers

2012-01-04T20:51:00.003Z

I finished my Arsenal themed festive football programme with a stroll down the River Thames to see the Gunners visit to Craven Cottage. As I wandered along the riverside, the crowd growing as we got nearer to ever looming floodlights I pondered a couple of firsts: the first time I had walked to an Arsenal game, the first time I would see a side play at each of the top four levels of the English game. I had first visited the Cottage when Fulham were marooned in Division Three, worse was to follow and I saw them at their nadir as they flirted with the bottom of Division Four. This was followed by the arrival of Mohamed Al-Fayed and his millions to send them back to the top and I made sure I popped in during their brief stay in Division Two. The ground was then transformed whilst the Cottagers moved in with QPR when I saw them play in Europe. The transformation of the Cottage into an all seater stadium managed to keep the homely nature of the ground with the closeness of the pitch and the large crowds attracted by Premier League football creating a suitable atmosphere. The support has changed too, the hardcore of locals now augmented by the well heeled residents of this wealthy borough attracted by seeing the best English football has to offer. I suppose the longevity of Fulham's stay in the top division has converted many of the new arrivals into supporters but the creativity employed by the club's Marketing department to fill the ground every week reflects the non stop effort required to maximise income and minimise reliance on the loans from Chairman Mo. One of the ticketing innovations has been the introduction of a neutral area next to the away section at the Putney End. Taking my seat here there is clearly a proper mix of home and away fans with no problems throughout the evening. Unfortunately although I had as good a view of the pitch as Wojciech Szczesny all the action took place at the Hammersmith end.

In summary Arsenal had the better of the first half whilst Fulham dominated the second. Yes Gervinho could have had a penalty, with the referee perhaps dissuaded by his exaggerated fall to earth. Yes Arsenal should really have scored a second after Laurent Koscielny's headed opener, despite David Stockdale excellent last ditch saves. But Bryan Ruiz provided a real threat from Fulham and the half was characterised by two tired teams frequently giving the ball away with Arsenal doing most to profit from the mistakes. Fulham's approach to the second half was admirable. Unlike Wolves and QPR in Arsenal's previous two games they were not cowed by the deficit and went for broke to get back into the game. Wenger's response in withdrawing attacking wingers for more defensive midfielders merely served to facilitate Fulham setting up camp in the Arsenal half. There were early bookings in the half for Johan Djourou and Alex Song but neither player moderated their behaviour so it was no surprise when the former departed early. Likewise although going down to ten men hardly helped the Arsenal cause there was an inevitability about the Fulham equaliser and subsequent winner with the Gunners looking played out.

I suppose it was unlikely that Arsenal would be left out of the festive shock defeat club with the four games in quick succession seeing the Premier League turn into the Championship for a fortnight. Whereas some might see this as a good thing with the mistakes caused by fatigue meaning unexpected defeats on every matchday, this is at the expense of quality and if anything I would prefer it if all of the top four divisions slimmed down by at least two clubs (four in the Championship's case). If nothing else at least there would be more time for Cup competitions which might mean they are taken more seriously.

Regardless a trip to Craven Cottage is highly recommended and as I wandered home in the moonlight I pondered their place in my selection of Desert Island grounds, deciding they should be elevated to join the likes of York Road, Highbury, Elm Park, and the pre renovation Deepdale and Turf Moor.

Lone Ranger

2012-01-01T10:23:00.002Z

It was left to Robin Van Persie to again secure Arsenal three points with the much maligned Andrey Arshavin playing Tonto to the Dutchman's lone ranger by setting up the only goal of the game.

It was a contest that on the face of it had much in common with that played four days earlier here against Wolves but whereas in that game it was a superb goalkeeping performance that stopped a comfortable Arsenal win, on this occasion it was the Gunners' profligacy in front of goal that prevented a greater margin of victory.

The game opened with the opposition looking solidly set to do all they could to earn a goalless draw with a backline so deep they might as well have stayed in West London. This allowed the Dutchman sitting next to me to get on with sorting out his emails on his iPad, with Szczesny the only goalkeeper being called into action. Thus I was given time to ponder similar New Year clashes, with a mid 80s fixture between the two clubs when Ian Allinson was the unlikely star in a 3-1 win not looking favourite for a repeat. Instead it was a goalless draw at Elm Park when Huddersfield manager Neil Warnock celebrated as if he'd won promotion by holding the mighty Reading that seemed most likely to play out in front of me.

As the half drew on though Arsenal created a number of chances and should have converted at least one before half time, being unfortunate on a couple of occasions when Joey Barton cleared off the line and Matthew Connolly handled the ball without penalty in the box. Barton of course had earlier introduced himself by upending Mikel Arteta, going onto try and ensure he wasn't alone in the referee's book by rolling around on the turf whenever he was challenged.

With Aaron Ramsey pulling the strings Arsenal continued to dominate after the break but Theo Walcott lack of match fitness was reflected by the way he spurned the best chance of the game one on one with Cerny. QPR were beginning to look like they might get something out of the game before shooting themselves in the foot when a misplaced pass from Shaun Wright-Phillips found Arshavin who fed Van Persie to score.

Aside from Gervinho missing a sitter it was a nervy finish from Arsenal with QPR raising the tension every time they attacked but the scoreline remained the same at the final whistle leaving Arsenal fans to scurry off down the Holloway Road to their New Year's Eve celebrations in the knowledge that at the halfway stage of the league season the Gunners had completed their comeback from a disastrous start to end 2011 in the top four.

The journey home was enlightened by a programme article about former Arsenal player Dave Bowen who holds two club records more noteworthy than the irrelevant one Van Persie broke with his goal. Firstly Bowen, along with Jack Kelsey, was the first Arsenal player to play in the World Cup Finals when he represented Wales in the 1958 tournament in Sweden. Secondly Bowen is the only Arsenal player to have a stand named after him, at Northampton's ground, the club he took from Fourth to First Division as manager in the 1960s.

Magic Magpie Moments 2011

2011-12-29T14:49:00.001Z

2011 was hardly a vintage year in the history of Maidenhead United but it had its moments:

1. Steve Williams' penalty save at Basingstoke - Maidenhead were winning 4-3 when Basingstoke won a penalty in the dying minutes. Williams dived to his left to save and win the game. Had Basingstoke scored they may well have gone on to win the game, if not Maidenhead would still have been looking for their first league win in three months and relegation would probably have followed.

2. Anthony Thomas scores against Aldershot - a goal worthy of the occasion which allowed Maidenhead fans to dream of FA Cup glory. Only marginally spoiled by a late equaliser and given new life for ten days by the prospect however unlikely of a trip to Hillsborough in the next round.

3. Max Worsfold's winner at Thurrock - amazing stoppage time strike in the context of the game and the season. Essentially condemned Thurrock to relegation and meant Maidenhead were safe with games to spare.

4. Half time against Woking in the Cup - no challenge as the performance of the season. 4-1 up against the league leaders in the FA Cup. Second half was good enough to preserve the score line. Sadly it was a pretty much unique feat in 2011.

5. Anthony Thomas' winner at Truro - great goal to win a good game of football and most importantly made the nine hour round trip worthwhile.

Hennessey Gold

2011-12-28T16:30:00.003Z

Wayne Hennessey gave what must have been one of the best goalkeeping performances of 2011 to earn Wolverhampton Wanderers a point that hardly seemed likely when Gervinho gave the Gunners a lead in the eighth minute. A subsequent lack of ruthlessness in the passage of play following the goal meant a Wolves equaliser put them very much back in the game and en route for a point. All of which did little to salve my Christmas cold.

Having struggled up the Piccadilly line through heavily laden tourists and shoppers I filled myself up with one of Fat Harry's delectable hot dogs, and after pausing to picture the fine statue of Herbert Chapman headed into the ground. I guessed it was going to be one of those days when I had to turf someone out of my seat (since when does 12 mean 14) and discovered I was sitting next to Master Angry who had clearly not had a good Christmas such was his eagerness to jump up and vent his fury at every opportunity. As kick off approached the big screen replayed Arsenal's 1998 semi-final which only served to question why Wolves wouldn't be wearing their fine Old Gold colours this afternoon. Although The Wonder of You was played again pre match in favour of Good old Arsenal, at least the call and response reading of the Arsenal line up seems to have gone for good.

As my sinuses started to throb I began to contemplate an early exit which looked a possibility when Arsenal scored. The goal started with a piercing run by Matt Jarvis down the left wing but as the move broke down Arsenal counterattacked swiftly through Rosicky and Benayoun, the latters perfect pass allowing Gervinho to show off a delightful trick before to the surprise of everyone in the stadium rounding the keeper to score. Surely this would be the start of a goal avalanche that would allow me to depart early with the result safe? Far from it. Apart from one passage of play where Arsenal strung over twenty passes together they seemed to lack the diligence to patiently tear Wolves apart, tending to snatch at goalscoring opportunities.

Thus when Wolves found themselves with a free kick on the edge of the Arsenal penalty area, the Berkshire Hunt somewhat fortuitously created an equaliser. Putting his lucky heather aside his kick deflected off Vermaelen and landed at the feet of Fletcher who deftly diverted the ball into the net with any chance offside disappearing with Song's tardiness in coming out.
With many around me morbidly willing a time wasting approach from Wolves as a fait accompli, aside from a short tetchy period which saw Song subbed after a booking and Milijas sent off, Arsenal pretty much did everything but score. Referee Stuart Attwell literally blocked the Gunners advance when he witlessly stood in the way of Van Persie's run up. When the path to the goal became clear Van Persie's effort became one of several long range efforts that Hennessey was equal too. It was at closest range that the keeper was most impressive though, instinctively blocking efforts from Mertesacker and Van Persie on the line meaning it was the fans from the West Midlands who were celebrating an unexpected point at the final whistle.

The English Disease

2011-12-24T00:10:00.000Z

Receiving an early Christnas present in the form of an Amazon voucher I was running through my wishlist when I noticed that a copy of the long deleted album "The English Disease" was available. Pouncing on this gem straightaway, it soon arrived and I was transported back to a time when those at the cutting edge of music saw no contradiction in applying their talents to what was regarded in polite society as the most anti-social of pursuits - watching football.

Arriving from the East London base of the On U Sound record label, "The English Disease" took its title from the tag liberally applied to the behaviour of English football supporters and cast its net over English football in the late 80s. Naturally the location of the record label led to the album having a heavy West Ham accent, with tracks dedicated to Leroy Rosenior (Leroy's Boots), Alan Devonshire (Devo backed by Italian House) and Billy Bonds (featuring I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles of course), but in keeping with a more collectivist era there were many others featured.

I had first heard the tracks played on the John Peel show at the time of release. At the time my budget didn't quite stretch to a release which I classed as fitting under the novelty banner although I made an exception for the peerless Flair. Listening again after more than 20 years I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the music and the high level politicisation in the lyrics. The music is emblematic of a time when to record something about football was to be on the cutting edge, a creative peak reached when New Order made it to the top of the charts with "World in Motion".

Echoing the likes of I Ludicrous the tracks mount a determined stand in defence of terrace culture, which has now been all but lost.Produced by Adrian Sherwood and aided by Doug Wimbish, Skip McDonald and Keith Levene the music generally takes a turn towards dub/reggae most obviously in a reworking of The Liquidator and most fittingly in the protest anthem "Civil Liberty" which features Neil Kinnock arguing the case against ID cards, hardly a comfortable stance for a Labour leader these days.

A dub version of Land of Hope and Glory backs a lament from the England manager Robson on "England Just Can't Win", whilst its Alan Ball's turn to give excuses on "Mind the Gap". Brian Clough has now regained his national treasure status but "Brian Clout" reminds us of one of his more controversial episodes, with Vinnie Jones' instant impact on the game being reflected by "Psycho and the Wombles of Division 1".

The stand out track for me though is "Sharp as a Needle", the one I could clearly remember from the 80s. The words "Glory, Glory" repeated over a Cup Final day recording of "Abide With Me" interspersed with commentary from the late great Peter Jones paying homage to the Liverpool team of that era (no wonder Peel played it so often!).

The album finishes on an optimistic note with a rendition of "Que Sera Sera" so its sad to think that what this recording does is to provide a coda to what is fast becoming seen as a different time, from Post war to Premiership. However before the rose tinted spectacles descend the liner notes end with: "No thank you to those who put profit before safety and comfort, and are disinterested in the voice of those who pay the wages". Strange to say that might be more true then than now.

Yossi reunites the sunshine band

2011-12-22T12:40:00.001Z

The far from Christmassy sound of KC and the Sunshine band rang round Villa Park at the final whistle hailing the late goal from Yossi Benayoun which gave Arsenal a hard fought win which had looked unlikely til the latter stages when the Gunners extra desire drove them on to victory.

The 2-1 win neatly reversed the scoreline from my first and hitherto only trip to Villa Park way back in April 1983 when despite going into half time ahead, Arsenal succumbed to a rampant Manchester United en route to winning their first trophy under Ron Atkinson. That day I had sat in what was then called the Witton Lane Stand next to two kindly old ladies who spent the afternoon eating sweets and cooing every time Norman Whiteside touched the ball. Last night I was sat in the same part of the ground which had been rebuilt as the Doug Ellis stand in a seat with a view so restricted it merited a £1 discount! Handily placed at the end of the row in front of a gangway the only obstacle to seeing the night's entertainment was fortunately just the odd passing steward.

I'd travelled up to Birmingham the scenic way from London Marylebone, taking advantage of a superb £5 one way offer on that bizarre British paradox the privatised nationalised railway. Privatised by the British government but owned by the nationalised German railway who proved the efficacy of their operation with a smooth journey on a full train, accommodating everyone in roomy, clean carriages by dispensing with first class.

Alighting at Birmingham's most attractive terminus, Moor Street, I met up with a Villa supporting friend who was to be my guide to pre match hospitality. After negotiating the bustling crowds around New Street we headed up to Aston and after one false start settled down in the faded glory of the Swan & Mitre, an impressive facade clothing a dingy old fashioned boozer which had clearly seen better days. Still it provided a quiet corner to catch up, the only noise being the clink of dominoes at an adjacent table. As the football crowd started to filter in we moved onto the New Adventurers a virtual Aston Villa theme pub, £1 giving you access through their claret and blue portal. Full of fans steeling themselves for the match, talk centred on the prospects for play which were generally downbeat following the weekend's surrender to Liverpool, the mood only lifted by a badge seller touting "McLeish out" pins.

The short walk to the ground felt subdued and notably short on expectation, not uncommon at this time of the year when football takes second place to festive preparations. The kick off shook the cobwebs off though, the first half seeing Aston Villa the better team only denied an early lead by a splendid save by the Pole in the goal from Gabriel Agbonlahor. With injuries and suspensions hitting Arsenal hard it was not surprising that they lacked the fluidity of Sunday's draining defeat at Middle Eastlands but a steely resolve was characterised by the way they hung on in the opening stages then grabbed their chance with both hands when it came.

A quicksilver dash into the penalty area by Theo Walcott induced Ciaran Clark to throw out a grabbing arm in panic giving the referee no choice but to point to the spot, a really soft penalty both in terms of the threat that caused it and the foul that led to it. With Robin Van Persie eager to break the much talked about, if statistically meaningless, record for goals scored in calendar year, the kick was a formality. The goal changed little in term of the pattern of play though, Arsenal's awfully inappropriate away kit reflecting an uncharacteristically workmanlike first half performance.

Villa regrouped at half time and deservedly equalised with the goal of the game when Marc Albrighton capitalised on Arsenal defensive hesitancy to run clear and score. This turned out to be an ultimately abstract 20,000th goal scored at the top level of English football since 1992, unless you buy into the hubristic insistence that Rupert Murdoch invented the game.

Attacking substitutions by Arsene Wenger were reflected by a growing intensity from Arsenal going forward as they forced a succession of corners which ultimately brought about the late winner when Van Persie inswinging kick was met by the head of Benayoun three minutes from time. The inevitable eruption of joy in the Arsenal end really rattled the Villa players Alan Hutton taking his leave early for a couple of needless misdemeanours.

The final whistle soon arrived to the backing of Jingle Bells, the euphoria sending me bouncing back to Witton station and home through the night sustained by a splendid Thai Yellow curry from Wok Your Way which meant I was still talking football with the black cab driver in the small hours.

A Christmas Gift For You

2011-12-18T12:16:00.001Z

Long suffering is certainly an epithet that can be applied to Maidenhead supporters in 2011 as those of us who follow the club home and away in the league have had to endure two long winless runs in the Alliance South this calendar year. The first in the New Year was only stopped by a miraculous run of results in the Spring to avoid relegation, the second in the autumn at least offered light relief in the form of cup glory regularly punctuating the league gloom. Thus it was in forlorn hope rather than expectation that the Magpies made their way to Wiltshire clutching at the clichéd straws of a Cup hangover for the home team following their arduous but ultimately successful midweek FA Cup replay at Grimsby. There was also the memory of warming performances of Christmas past with the record breaking win at Hayes Lane a year ago still fresh in the memory.

The trip was also something to look forward to at the end of a long week and having managed to convince the ticket staff at Paddington to sell me a ticket for a less than direct route to Salisbury, I met up with five other Magpies at Reading who had just about made it after Mr Late As Usual lived up to his soubriquet. The Logician redeemed himself by relaying his cultural knowledge en route comparing the height of cathedral spires in Ulm and Salisbury. The latter was only glimpsed as we left the station to look for a welcoming pub with only the Wetherspoons' Kings Head providing satisfactory refuge.

Ignoring the comedy ales on offer (Russian Revolution stout?) I decided pre match conversation would be sponsored by Amstel in an attractive glass which sadly proved less than practical in standing up to a glancing blow meaning most of the third pint ended up on the floor.

The excellent 505050 taxis provided an A team style van to transport us to the out of town ground. Salisbury had moved from their centrally located Victoria Park stadium to the new Raymond McEnhill one in Old Sarum. Old Sarum is a place burned into my brain from school history as the most rotten of rotten boroughs abolished by the Great Reform Act of 1832, an iron age hill fort which returned two members of parliament.

Passing this now heritage site we entered the new development which seemed to consist of a growing estate of eminently respectable faux mansions some of which lined the appropriately named cul de sac which led to the ground, Partridge Way.

The stadium was something of an odd construction, a hotch potch of staircases and rooms backing on to a muddled arena. As we ascended the steps up to the social club we were presented with a poster advertising Salisbury's forthcoming Cup trip to Sheffield in a Bullseye style what you could have won moment.

With admission matching that of Fulham last Wednesday night, a seat (£15), a programme (£2.50) a drink and a bite to eat comfortably broke the £20 barrier. Regardless of value this was in keeping with Salisbury's full time status which at least was reflected by a fair playing surface in view of the recent weather.

Supporter accommodation was lopsided with the main stand roof continuing round by behind one goal to provide covered accommodation. The other half of the ground was just bare terracing, bar a regulation complying small seated stand on the halfway line. Bizarrely much of the terrace was prohibited yellow stripe territory.

The game itself offered several parallels to the last Magpies league win I had seen back at the start of September at Truro. It was a trip west to a new ground, the home team's white kit forced Maidenhead to wear their yellow away strip, both teams tried to play football, and Maidenhead were anchored at the back by the reassuring presence of Leigh Henry and Billy Lumley.

Although the Maidenhead performance didn't reach the level of that in Cornwall, it was accomplished enough to be offered up as an early Christmas present to those who travelled to the game and had suffered many of the defeats in between.

The opening goal saw a seemingly innocuous ball into the penalty area by Richard Pacquette send the Salisbury defence into disarray, Martel Powell deftly despatching the loose ball into an empty net in the 26th minute. Two minutes later Pacquette doubled the lead when picked up defence splitting pass from Powell and beat the hapless keeper with a delightful lobbed finish. This double blow seemed to induce panic in the Salisbury ranks leading to a swift double substitution. This turned into frustration by the end of the half as their inability to offer any threat beyond the odd set piece was summed up by one of the Whites bench being sent off.

The second half provided more goal chances with both sides spurning opportunities to score. Maidenhead looked the most dangerous on the counter attack with Pacquette failing to seriously test the keeper when well placed on two occasions then getting into a tangle with Alex Wall at the far post when a point blank header was on offer. At the other end Lumley dealt competently with the Salisbury efforts being most extended by Tom Fitchett, having to use his feet to parry the shot.

It soon became clear though that the only Christmas cheer was to be had at the freezing open end where the Maidenhead fans were gathered, lapping up the rare opportunity to roar the team onto three points and enjoying the winning feeling at the final whistle before heading for home. Let's hope its not another 105 days until the next time.

Dense

2011-12-18T10:49:00.001Z

The week before Christmas provided an opportunity for another dose of European football at London's loveliest ground, Craven Cottage. With a ticket in the main Riverside stand costing just £15 for a great view of the action (see above) and the game being very much alive due to Fulham needing a win to guarantee qualification from the Europa League group stage, it was a suitable occasion to meet old friends for a Christmas drink. Entering the Temperance pre match the tone for an odd evening was set when a large group of OB fans set themselves up for the game by playing Scrabble.

As the game got going there seemed to be nothing to stop Fulham strolling to a win against a seemingly compliant Danish team. Despite fielding a weakened team the likes of youngsters Marcel Gecov and Kerim Frei created the foundation for Fulham to take a half time 2-0 lead through Clint Dempsey and Frei with consummate skill in an impressive first half performance which gave little cause to check what was going on in the other group game in Poland.

Half time brought the reassuring presence of David Hamilton on the touchline and after the break little changed with the only criticism being a rather harsh judgement that Fulham were guilty of overplaying their attacks without getting a shot in. The game turned just after the hour when Hans Henrik Andreasen pulled a goal back from a free kick which exposed the defects in a badly constructed Fulham wall. This triggered an attack of nerves in the Fulham ranks especially when the mighty Eric Djemba-Djemba entered the fray for OB.

With Wisla winning in Krakow an OB equaliser would knock the Cottagers out and this outcome started to have an inevitable feel about as the goal transformed the Danish performance. Still time ticked away and the three minutes of stoppage time were almost up when OB mounted one last attack. In the simplest of moves down the right wing a cross was swung into the penalty area where it was met by the head of Djilby Fall to score with what proved to be the last touch of the game, the referee blowing for full time as OB celebrated with their small but hardy support and Fulham fell to their knees in as sad a state as the woeful Michael Jackson statue we humbly filed past on the way out.

Nostalgia for an age yet to come

2011-12-11T19:43:00.001Z

Nostalgia fest yesterday. With a ticket to the New Order reunion concert in the obscure location of Stepney and a friend travelling down from Scotland to see it I opted for the safe bet of tickets to Arsenal's 125th birthday and an easy day in London.

The day hopefully set the seal on the Arsenalisation of the new ground which has now become a cross between a museum and a football theme park. Putting the dates of trophy wins around the stadium was the first stage in removing posterity from the current squad as the achievements of their predecessors lurked ever larger in the new environment. The dates also hang like something of an albatross round the club's neck, a constant reminder of the growing time since the last trophy. I really don't like the burgeoning trend of football statuary, and feel that people should be only commemorated in this way once they have shuffled off their mortal coil.

Certainly the fact that I was off to see arch modernists New Order concentrated the mind on the future and led me to ponder what the Gunners great visionary Herbert Chapman would have thought. Although a listed building now the old Highbury ground was state of the art when it was built and the worry is that the futuristic nature of the new ground may be strangled by the past.

The game itself long looked like it would be overshadowed by the pre match celebrations, the nadir of which was MC Tom Watt's babbling inability to turn his stream of consciousness into a question for the legends he introduced before kick off, most of whom would have been at the game anyway in a PR/media role. At least "Good Old Arsenal" replaced "The Wonder of You" as the warm up music and the embarrassing call and response of the team line ups was dropped. Unfortunately I guess the club is contractually obliged to play the indie rock dirge of the Premier League anthem.

Still it was good that Everton with their pleasingly simplistic all blue kit and unbroken top division status (only beaten by Arsenal), were the opposition particularly as despite their lowly position manager Davie Moyes set out to win the game. Early on the unusual Arsenal defence with centre backs filling the wide roles looked as though it might be undone by the powerful wing play of the likes of Leighton Baines and Seamus Coleman. This focus on attack forced the blue defence up the pitch and Arsenal had ample opportunity to exploit the high line only for Gervinho (again) and Theo Walcott to be especially profligate when through on goal.

As the game wore on Everton's confidence was symbolised by the way Marouane Fellaini played progressively further up the pitch but the game was won with a moment of quality to reflect the historic occasion. Alex Song's delightful pass found Robin Van Persie to fire home and take everyone's breath away with a strike which was executed when the Dutchman was fully airborne, a move that was ripe to end in farce perfectly carried out with a volley that rocketed into the back of the net. As usual any hope that Arsenal would quietly see out the win were in vain as Everton went for broke, but there was to be no match for Van Persie's coup de grace so Arsenal completed their comeback from their early season turmoil with a win that lifted them into the top four.

If Van Persie stays fit maybe this season will see the Emirates see silverware for the first time, the quality is evidently there to achieve it.

Knightmare

2011-12-03T22:08:00.001Z

Had a bad feeling about Dorchester's visit to York Road when Portsmouth goalkeeping legend Alan Knight was appointed manager of the Dorset Magpies in midweek. Just the boost they needed going into the game at Maidenhead. To be honest he didn't need to do much bar organise the team to ensure live wire forward Rico Wilson saw enough of the ball to score as Maidenhead lacked any creativity.

Perhaps it would have all been so different if Alex Wall had scored with a move straight from the kick off, catching Dorchester cold only to see his shot pass just wide. For the rest of the half bar a couple of striving runs from Mark Nisbet and Reece Tilson-Lascaris, Maidenhead offered little going forward. Dorchester on the other hand took the lead when Wilson skipped through the defence to score in the nineteenth minute and almost doubled their lead ahead of half time when a free kick was scraped off the line by Billy Lumley then hacked away by Nisbet.

After the break Maidenhead showed a bit more purpose going forward but still did not look like getting on the scoresheet, a late Manny Williams effort from close range in stoppage time which was blazed over the bar was the closest to an equalizer. Indeed Dorchester looked as likely to secure the points with a second. All very disappointing but predictable in what has become a Jekyll and Hyde season following the start of the cup competitions. Even a change in formation with three at the back to allow wide men Solomon and Worsfold the chance to get forward bore little fruit and the less said about the dearth of creativity and dynamism in the midfield the better. Still the lack of action provided a chance to catch up with friends on the terraces and no regrets that I'll be going to just one more Maidenhead United game in 2011. Nice to see the Advertiser have replaced their sign at the York Stream end too.

Once in a Blue Moon

2011-11-30T22:19:00.001Z

Going into last night's League Cup quarter final, Manchester City were winless at Arsenal for over 36 years. Playing for Arsenal in that last victory was Brian Kidd. The European Cup winner moved onto City the following season, a nice contrast with the rather more exotic talent drain flowing up the M6 in the 21st century. Two ex Gunners were on show last night, the universally admired Kolo Toure and the universally derided Samir Nasri, who after his ill-judged comments about Arsenal supporters when he left the club, and least gave Gooners all round the ground the opportunity to get ready for Pantomine season by booing his every move. This added to a real cup tie atmosphere in and around the ground with everyone in red ready to give Arsenal their full support as underdogs.

Both side fielded a very much second choice eleven, with Arsenal as usual opting for youth whilst City's line up was sprinkled with star dust with the likes of Toure, Nasri, Zabaleta, De Jong, Hargreaves, Johnson and Dzeko, not to mention Aguero who ended up coming off the bench to play two thirds of the game. Yet despite the gap in fully developed talent it was Arsenal who looked most likely to score for most of the game Park and Oxlade-Chamberlain bring the best out of the Blues keeper Pantilimon in the first half.

Whilst City seemed happy to sit back in the second half Arsenal continued to try and force the issues, driven on by promising performances in the midfield from Frimpong, Coquelin and Oxlade-Chamberlain. Yet even when Gervinho entered the fray the goal would not come, the attacking threat of Chamakh being easily snuffed out.

With Arsenal doing the utmost to avoid extra time the crucial goal came from the Maidenhead United counter-offensive, a Gunners corner being turned over quickly by Dzeko who set in motion a move which Aguero finished with ease.

A late Gervinho cross almost found the head of Chamakh but the Moroccan ended up heading fresh air and the final whistle soon sounded to spark the worst kind of gloating from some of the City fans on the way out. Still well worth a tenner.

Billericay feeling Dickie

2011-11-27T09:42:00.001Z

Billericay Town is a club that automatically takes me back to the Magpies' days in the Isthmian League. They were always a good yardstick to measure how good United were in any one season with stand out memories being the wins home and away against the Blues in their 1998 Division One promotion season, the latter win in Essex being inspired from the unlikely quarter of Clayton Whittle and the heroic Andy Robertson who ended up in hospital with a broken arm. There were doubles of different varieties in future seasons. Firstly in 2000 an amazing Billy Cove strike at the Lodge was United's only goal in two League Cup semi final legs which were both drawn, Doncaster Rovers' Adam Lockwood featuring in the Maidenehad defence as a loan player from his then employers Reading. The tie therefore went to penalties with goalkeeper Garath Ormshaw firing United through to the final by taking the last kick himself. A few months later and Maidenhead had joined Billericay in the Premier Division but this time it was the Blues who gave the Magpies a memorable footballing lesson in the standards required to prosper at the new level.

Fast forward to 2011 and a Maidenhead team without a win in November was set to face a Billericay side top of the Isthmian League on the back of a 5-0 demolition of Horsham in midweek. The scene was set for Billericay to establish their Alliance South credentials against the team bottom of the form table, a positive outcome for Essex looking likely as the Maidenhead team was weakened by the suspension of Bobby Behzadi and injuries to the likes of Jon Scarborough and Will Hendry. Add in overnight illness to Joe Crook which prevented him from making his full debut, a seventeen year old starting a first team game for the first time at centre back in Devante McKain and Nevin Saroya being prevented from getting game time lower down the pyramid due to Leigh Henry's new fatherhood, and you had on the face of it a Maidenhead team there for the taking.

As is the style in the Isthmian league Billericay tore into their opponents with a high tempo approach, displaying a penchant for set pieces in the final third with full backs from the Delap school of throw ins. They regularly threatened the Maidenhead goal throughout the first half with balls across the six yard box but couldn't quite get on the end of any of the crosses to trouble Billy Lumley in the United goal.

After 20 minutes Maidenhead launched what turned out to be the crucial attacking phase of play. It started with a rehearsal, Ashan Holgate laying the ball off to Alex Wall whose shot was turned round the post by the beautifully named Town custodian Dale Brightly. Two minutes later Reece Tison-Lascaris was the recipient of a Holgate short pass and this time the promising youngster finished his tricky run with a finish to match to score.

The rest of the half was characterised by Billericay furiously claiming every infringement no matter how minor. A surprisingly lenient referee Nigel Lugg seemed happy to subject himself to a barrage of effing and jeffing every time he ruled in Maidenhead's favour, with Richard Halle on the pitch and manager Craig Edwards off it fortunate not to be cautioned for their frequent protests which were mirrored by the away support.

At the restart Billericay pushed hard for an equaliser but their early efforts came to naught. The introduction of Manny Williams and Martel Powell saw Maidenhead enjoy a spell when they might have doubled their lead but the stage was set for Billericay to give it the kitchen sink treatment in the final stages to try and force a replay. Most of their attacking endeavours were now coming from either wing, Junior Luke blazing a trail down the right whilst Harrison Chatting was left in acres of space on the other flank. The defensive unit of Rose, Saroya, McKain and Solomon held firm for the most part although the post was required to deny Chatting, and Worsfold cleared off the line from a corner which followed soon after.

Billericay had one card left to play in the form of Chris Wild who must have been eager to prove the law of the ex after finishing his Maidenhead career in ignominy at Histon in 2006 arguing mid game with supporters who unlike Wild had managed to arrive by kick off despite having to endure a rail replacement bus journey. This symbol of the club's most Fred Karnoesque of incarnations almost had the last laugh though with a powerful header from a last minute corner. Fortunately Lumley was up to the task of catching the ball with a graceful dive and Maidenhead survived four minutes of stoppage time to earn £4,000 and a place in the first round proper of the FA Trophy on Saturday December 10th. After a much awaited midweek break the team must bring their cup form to the table next Saturday against Dorchester to try and start climbing the table again.

One Song

2011-11-26T13:08:00.001Z

A solid performance from Arsenal to complete the amazing feat of becoming the only English club to qualify for the knockout stages of the Champions League with one group match still to play. I wonder what the odds were against this happening before Arsenal took the pitch in the Dortmund away game? Since then the new signings have started to blend, particularly the midfield triumvirate of Arteta, Song and Ramsey who were instrumental in Wednesday night's win. Arteta has found a new role for himself as anchorman following years of being the playmaker at Everton, Ramsey was spraying passes all over the final third whilst Song seems to be recapturing his form of a year or so with his admirable attribute of winning the ball whilst staying on his feet.

Going into the game as the top German team Dortmund had a strong start. Shinji Kajawa provided the biggest threat, playing in the hole behind striker Robert Lewandowski, and inspiring a couple of attacks that split the Arsenal defence open. Any chance of being impressed by highly rated winger Mario Gotze was lost when he went off injured midway through the first half but he does look like the small tricky attacking wide player that Arsene Wenger tends to favour. With Thomas Vermaelen and Mats Hummels in control in either defence the first half ended goalless with no clue to the final result.

Half time presented an opportunity to reflect on the huge German support which had been giving the rare opportunity of some upper tier seating to compliment the usual lower tier away section, the first time I had seen this at either the old or new ground. There were also pockets of support all over the Clock End keen to join in with the Wagnerian choir that looked like a hive of bees in their yellow and black striped hats. Many bloggers pay homage to the German fanschau of choreographed singing and hand clapping/waving but I can't help seeing it as narcissistic, a group activity convened to say look at me rather than to reflect the main event on the pitch. For me the crowd should respond to events on the pitch noise levels reaching a crescendo as either team attacks or an incident takes place. Add in the organised march from station to ground (which resulted in a rare command for the away support to remain behind) and you have a phenomenon of people seeking identity regardless of the football.With Dortmund's financial woes over the last decade giving a cautionary tale to those seeing the German game as some kind of model to aspire, my view is that you have a football culture that is interesting to observe but not one I would want to inhabit.

The braying teutonic voices surrounding me were silenced soon after the start of the second half when Song's inspirational run and cross was finished at the far post Van Persie. As those in red jumped up in celebration the Clock End must have looked a strange sight with small groups of glum looking Germans sitting in between bouncing Gooners. A second similar goal at the far post must have given rise to Schadenfreude in the Arsenal ranks as these are the sort of strikes that Arsenal succumb to all to often. The German's last minute consolation gave the scoreline a more accurate reflection of the game and left Arsene Wenger the liberty of being able to send a weakened squad to Greece in a fortnight's time.

No Doubting Thomas

2011-11-13T19:35:00.001Z

The last word on yesterday's momentous cup tie went to the referee. At the end of the game he turned to one of my fellow directors and said "this club is a credit to non league football". A comment no doubt reflecting the smooth running of what was the most challenging matchday at York Road for five years.

I had no role in this so can only pass on my thanks and admiration to those off the pitch who gave their time freely to sell tickets, attend meetings and generally prepare the ground for the two thousand and more guests at the game.

My day began at five to nine with a bizarre interview with Radio Berkshire, who's breakfast show presenter was from the Partridge school of broadcasting asking me how I'd slept and whether I liked curry?! Dead batting her best efforts at patronising me I marvelled at the picture she was painting of Maidenhead High Street which supposedly was full of people with black and white scarves. Still I was miles away in Hackney, spending the morning at work.

As the afternoon arrived I began my arduous trek across London to Paddington which is no easy task at the weekend as London Transport were playing their usual trick on the thousands of day trippers by closing half the underground network. Still I made in time to catch a train which got me to Maidenhead just after two o'clock.

As usual I glimpsed at York Road as the train pulled into the station to see a crowd building nicely with some supporters already staking out their territory behind the goal. Leaving the station I was confronted by several police including two on horses, a sad consequence of intelligence received by the local constabulary that a number of known hooligans from outside the town were planning on going to the game. Later I discovered police spotters inside the ground had identified as many as thirty of these faces but the show of strength outside the ground seemed to have the desired effect and the game passed without incident off the pitch. Full credit to Thames Valley Police who showed a keen desire to help the club in any way shape or form to ensure the day passed peacefully without any threat of the associated crippling costs.

The spirit of non league football was alive and well when I got to the ground and found Fixture Secretary Roy Bannister hand writing the team sheets. As I bought my pre match pint I had a long wait for my change as the till remained shut due to a power cut caused by a small electrical fire. Fortunately supporter and electrician Dino "The Hat" Borge was on hand to sort everything out and I could join the throng in Stripes discussing the prospects for play.

I was certain Maidenhead would score and felt we had a good chance of getting something from the game. The sight of an Aldershot team always seems to bring the best out of the team regardless of who the manager and players are. Many of my most memorable moments watching the Magpies had come against the Shots and I was confident this would be another one.
One of the great aspects of a big game like this is the way you bump into people you haven't seen for a while and so I spent some time before the game with Magpie great Mick Creighton listening to his stories of attending the infamous Slough v Millwall FA Cup tie in the 80s and how he still turns out for his son's Sunday team.
For the first half I decided to stand in the media centre which for once was being used for its proper purpose of accommodating supporters in wheelchairs. With plenty of room behind them I was greeted Hawaiian style as Mike Payne placed a black and white scarf around my neck.As the teams took their places for the kick off I fully expected an early Aldershot blitz, with the ability of Maidenhead to weather the early storm being crucial to their hopes of a result. Yet what transpired was a rather subdued opening which gave the game the feeling of a pre season friendly rather than a high octane Cup tie. This seemed to be the result of Aldershot's inability to deal with Maidenhead's game plan to sit deep and stifle the Shots attempts to find League Two topscorer Danny Hylton. The game was played at a much slower tempo than usual Alliance South affairs at York Road and so Jon Scarborough was imperious at the heart of the Maidenhead defence.
Yet the Magpies defensive endeavour would have been nothing without a lead to hold on and this came in the sixth minute when Anthony Thomas scored with yet another superb strike chipping Shots' reserve keeper Jamie Young from the edge of the area. It was a goal fit for the occasion and it was a good job it hit the back of the net as the game was bereft of goalmouth action for the most part as Ashan Holgate cut a lone figure up front for United whilst the Shots got continuously swamped in the Maidenhead defence.
As the second half began I joined the Twyford Royals on the shelf, watching an unchanging game, the belief in a Maidenhead victory growing with every minute. With Drax looking to have trumped his Aldershot counterpart Dean Holdsworth, the ex Newport manager played his last hand by making three substitutions. This opened the game up and remarkably looked like offering the chance for a second Maidenhead goal, FA Cup warrior of old Bobby Behzadi drawing on all his experience when he moved into the midfield from right back to keep the United engine going.
With thirteen minutes to go Aldershot finally found Maidenhead's achilles heel, a vulnerability to defend against pace. Alex Rodman sprinted down the right wing, riding two tackles sucking defenders towards him so that his pass found Michael Rankine unmarked and able to comfortably sweep the ball home for the equaliser.Still this did not prove to the shot that loosened Maidenhead's foundations and a fairytale finish was set up for the Magpies with a free kick deep into stoppage time. Alex Wall's blast came to naught though and the game finished all square both sides deserving to fight another day in what should be a great replay with the prize of a trip to Hillsborough for the winners.
Regardless of what happens at the Rec in ten days time though this day will join the likes of famous York Road Cup ties against West Auckland and Bath City, proving the late great Stan Payne's adage: "Maidenhead United, it's a great club".

French Connection

2011-11-03T22:24:00.000Z

Thoroughly enjoyed this goalless Gallic affair on Tuesday night. Quick dash from work, leaving at 7.15 and making it to my seat on the Upper tier of the Clock End as the teams walked out meant I felt a little breathless. This was soon replicated on the pitch as the ball flew from end to end with rapid regularity. In a break with the this season's tradition though the centre of defence was tight enough for either side to avoid conceding. For Arsenal Thomas Vermaelen summed up the importance of his return with a Mooresque intervention midway through the first half to deny a Marseilles goalscoring opportunity, whilst at the other end Souleymane Diawarra gave a similarly composed performance.

Following last week's laboured victory over Bolton the game provided another opportunity for some fringe players to get time in the middle. For Carl Jenkinson this still looks a little early to judge him, particularly his distribution whilst Andre Santos' tendency to wander up the pitch led to the right wing being a fruitful furrow for the French to plough. Up front Ju Young Park again wanted too much time on the ball, unfortunately when he was replaced by Robin Van Persie, the Dutchman didn't seem to have enough in the tank to repeat his heroics of previous weeks.

Still top of the group, and four points taken from the nearest challengers, Arsenal look better placed than last year to win the group. An impressive display from the French fans too, looking forward to more of the same from Dortmund supporters at the end of the month.

The King's A Leon

2011-10-30T11:49:00.000Z

The fourth and final qualifying round of the FA Cup must be the best day in the Non League calendar. If you're lucky enough to still be in the competition you can wallow in all the hopes and dreams of glory to come in the competition proper in the knowledge that the tie you must win to get there offers a realistic chance of success. Everyone travelling to see a Cup tie yesterday must have done so in the hope that their team would win or at least be in the hat for the next round. Everyone would have had a team in their head who they wanted to draw in the first round. Everyone would have had a least of flutter of pride at the stirrings of extra media attention.

All this was true for me as I set off on the short journey to Farncombe to see Godalming Town host Maidenhead United for the right to join the forty eight Football League Third and Fourth Division clubs. So although inconvenienced by joining a train jam packed full of Chelsea fans at Shepherds Bush, I could only smile as they whined about "glory hunting" QPR fans from the previous week's match. Pausing to check Twitter as I waited for the the train at Clapham Junction a wry grin crept onto my face at the chutzpah of the nation's favourite Spoonerism Jeremy Hunt who billed the match as Culture Sec v Home Sec in reference to the Gs and Magpies' MPs.

Arriving nice and early I was stopped by the day's fourth official Dele Sotimirin, who had travelled on the same train and needed directions to the ground. I accompanied him part of the way, filling him in on each club's form before stopping off midway to Wey Court at the Freeholders, a welcoming pub from which to watch the day's support act, the Chelsea v Arsenal game, in the company of a flock of Royal Magpies who had eschewed a trip to Selhurst Park in favour of cheering on United.

Suitably buoyed up by proceedings at Stamford Bridge, an experience enhanced by being in a pub full of Chelsea fans in Ashley Cole's home town, next stop was Wey Court home of Godalming Town. The Gs have had a short but labyrinthine history encompassing name changes and an admirable approach to ground development using second hand structures no longer required by other clubs. Their recent elevation from county league football was plain to see by the limited but tidy ground which was just right for the game as the crowd stringed themselves round the perimeter in an unbroken chain one person deep.

With the tie being Town's first at this stage they had rightly received plenty of attention from the BBC and the FA, and their excellent form going into the game, particularly the recent defeats of Worcester and Kingstonian suggested they had more than a puncher's chance with some of their names on their team sheet being quite familiar with Alliance South football. The home manager was keen to play up the kidology saying the pressure was all on Maidenhead, but the Magpies shouldered this well dominating the opening stages . However with no end product to United's attacking endeavours, Godalming visibly grew in confidence.

Town twice went close with headers but their failure to hit the target was soon punished as Maidenhead responded by scoring twice. The first in the thirty first minute saw Ashan Holgate hold up a Bobby Behzadi free kick before laying the ball off to Martel Powell to fire home the opening goal of the game.With seven minutes to go before the break Leon Solomon made it two with an extraordinary finish from the left wing, the ball sailing over the goalkeeper's head into the top right corner, as good as any chip in from the fairway on the adjacent goal course.

Stunned by the prospect of an exit in their seventh FA Cup match this season it was clear Godalming's response after the restart would be crucial in helping them to maintain a toehold in this season's competition but they hadn't even got out of the blocks before Maidenhead made it 3-0.

Within seconds of the second half kick off, Solomon hared down the left and delivered a cross which Anthony Thomas launched himself at but could not even give it the eyebrows, nevertheless the ball hit the back of the net again.

Godalming refused to give up but with Sam Beasant equal to any of their attacking efforts the Magpies were the only likely scorers. So with twelve minutes to go Solomon completed a hat trick finishing a well worked exchange of passes with Holgate. A rout now seemed inevitable particularly when Manny Williams pounced on a slip by the hapless keeper to make it five. Deep into injury time though the Godalming number one restored some pride with a great double save from Will Hendry and Holgate. The final whistle soon sounded to cue elation from the black and white ranks at another first round appearance.

As we trailed home on the train, talk was naturally about Sunday's draw. Surely Maidenhead will overturn a run of five consecutive first round draws against non league opposition even if we don't get the likes of Charlton or Sheffields Wednesday and United. The wonders of social networking saw me meet up with @OrientMeatPie on the train, think we would both settle for the Os visiting York Road in November.

Bolton the blue

2011-10-28T21:25:00.001+01:00

Half term week and the League Cup is in town to offer thousands of kids on holiday, not to mention two teachers a cheap night out watching two Premier League teams. Arsenal's tie at home to Bolton fell on my birthday - 29 years after my first visit to Highbury give or take a day (goalless draw against Birmingham since you ask) - so an ideal opportunity for my wife Ewa to make her first visit to Ashburton Grove.

Accompanying a far from regular football watcher showed me how easy watching Arsenal has become, wander up to the turnstile, insert ticket in the reader, walk through the gate then across the concourse to our comfortable seats in the lower tier on the halfway line.

Early first impressions could have come straight from the media "why do the Arsenal players look like kids?", and "why do Arsenal keep passing to each other instead of going for goal?". By half time two well matched teams looked like producing another first stalemate. Bolton fielded a stronger team which meant they were the equal of the Gunners more blended selection.

Ten minutes of the second half changed all that. Bolton kicked the game into life when Ivan Klasnic combined well with Fabrice Muamba to give the former Arsenal striker the chance to prove the law of the ex and give the Trotters the lead.

Fortunately this was the spark Arsenal needed. Andrey Arshavin, with Ewa's favourite number 23 on his back, levelled with an excellent shot threading the eye of the needle to elude a host of defenders and the goalkeeper before hitting the back of the net. He then turned provider cleverly drawing the Wanderers' back to the centre of the pitch to give Ju Young Park the time and space to receive the Russian's pass then curl his shot around Adam Bogdan.

That seemed to be that as Arsenal settled for a one goal lead but Bolton pushed them all the way to the end, and will consider themselves a little unlucky not to extend the game to extra time. One slip aside Lukasz (note from Ewa to PA the L is pronounced as a W) Fabianski had one of his better games to keep the Trotters out and offer the opportunity of another cheap night out at the Grove in a month's time.

Woking on Sunshine

2011-10-16T11:41:00.000+01:00

Sometimes in football everything just works as intended, not very often and certainly not at York Road for Maidenhead United in an FA Cup tie, but yesterday it did.

A reminder of how things stood at 3 pm yesterday. Woking arrived at York Road having lost just once all season, at second place Welling. Maidenhead were missing a goalkeeper, full back and star striker through suspension not to mention three influential players to injury. Even I the eternal optimist could only hope for a 1-1 draw and a replay on Tuesday night, which would be Woking's worst result at York Road since relegation to the Alliance South.

Yet from the kick off Maidenhead executed a brilliant plan to win the game, flooding the midfield with five men to stifle Woking's counter attacks, and provide the width to create their own goal scoring opportunities. This left Ashan Holgate alone up front but he manfully stepped up to his solitary task, just like Craig O'Connor did at Cambridge City more than five years ago in another splendid win. Holgate however was far more cultured in his approach than the feisty O'Connor, with his range of deft touches starring his favoured back heel. Thus Maidenhead dominated the opening stages and took a deserved lead in the seventeenth minute.

The architect of the goal was the man of the first half Anthony Thomas, who shrugged off the inconvenience of playing out of position on the left wing, picked up a pass from Will Hendry then beat three players before bending a shot around Aaron Howe which hit the far post. The loose ball then fell to Holgate to score from close range.

Woking were quickly handed a way back into the game when Holgate was harshly judged to have fouled Joe McNerney in the penalty, Jack King equalising from the spot.

This proved to be a temporary setback for the Magpies as they quickly reclaimed the lead when a blocked Bobby Behzadi shot was fired in by Reece Tison-Lascaris. Woking again responded instantly in true Cup tie fashion but the post denied Moses Ademola a second equaliser. This proved to be a crucial miss as Maidenhead went out of sight with two more goals before half time.

Once again it was Thomas who pulled the strings, as firstly his cross was turned in by Holgate, then a lob pass found Tison-Lascaris to score the goal of the game, deftly the taking the ball past Howe before hitting the target.

Thomas was keen to indicate his influence to the Maidenhead bench and with five goals to his credit this campaign as well as the assists, he must the star of the early season.

Before the break there was just time for Woking to show they still intended to fight for their place in the competition, giving a taste of things to come when Ademola was first denied by the feet of Jordan Clement, then saw an effort tipped over the bar.

Dale Binns had also joined the fray shortly before the interval after being surprisingly left out of the starting line up and as expected he gave makeshift right back Andrew Fagan a torrid time as Woking set up camp in the Maidenhead half from the restart. The score remained the same though Clement saving well from Elvis Hammond. As the game drew to a close Woking manager threw on Giuseppe Sole as a last throw of the dice but Clement was ready pulling off three superb saves from Sole to claim the man of the second half award and strangle any lingering hopes of a comeback. Sam Beasant will sweating about reclaim his place after this performance from the Aldershot loanee.

At the final whistle the Maidenhead players deservedly took their ovation from Bell Street and the Shelf, having given certainly the best FA Cup performance since the away tie at Stafford in 2006.

No sign

2011-10-16T10:44:00.001+01:00

Biggest crowd of the season yesterday but as usual this means that there was a very large travelling support. Hopefully the Maidenhead public will come out in numbers to support the Magpies if we get a home draw in the next round. It would be nice to think that some local institutions will help to get people through the gates. At the moment this is far from the case. With the noble exception of the Advertiser and in particular Charles Watts (best since Richard Copeman?) who continue to provide great coverage, particularly in the sports section despite having many more clubs to cover, the continuing ignorance from the Royal Borough of Windsor & Maidenhead and BBC Radio Berkshire is a poor verdict on their duty to serve the public.

At the start of the season I noticed the sign pictured above at the junction of Queen Street and York Road. Excellent I thought, a sign to the historic York Road ground at last? Not at all. Yes you will be helped to find the Railway Station, The Green Way, The Heritage Centre, The Town Hall & Library and the The Register Office, but if its football you want good luck. Then again as the mayor and MP never seem to find an occasion even once a season to show support to the club at a game that is hardly surprising.

Then there is BBC Radio Berkshire with just one league club to cover you would have thought Maidenhead United, as the premier non league team in the county might get some coverage, particularly in the universally known FA Cup? No chance. In spite of most visiting clubs bringing their local BBC radio commentary team with them to York Road on a regular basis, our local station can't even make it to a home game as important as yesterday or even find space on their website to mention the game.

Oh well at least we won't notice the public sector cuts at York Road.

Chelmsford left looking Ashan

2011-10-08T20:10:00.001+01:00

To date Chelmsford's visits to York Road have followed a familiar pattern: a hard fought game of fair quality with the Clarets finishing with daylight between themselves and the Magpies. No wonder the Essex club's fans rate their trip to the Royal County as their favourite in the league.

This season the script was followed faithfully in the first half. After a bright United opening, Chelmsford scored with their first attack of the game when a Cliff Akurang left wing cross was turned in by Kezie Ibe.This set the tone for the first half with Chelmsford always looking dangerous when they counter attacked swiftly whilst Maidenhead made little headway going forward, the Magpies cause not being helped by the untimely departure of Will Hendry. Hendry had shown flashes of his best form before hobbling off after a tackle by Max Cornhill and the Magpies sorely missed his flair. Meanwhile Sam Beasant kept Chelmsford at bay, pushing a Sam Corcoran shot wide then making three interventions in quick succession to keep the deficit to one as the clock ticked past the half hour mark.United were given hope on the stroke of half time when Anthony Thomas beat three men on the left hand side of the penalty area and fired a shot which whistled narrowly past the far post.

After the break the game went flat until the introduction of Ishmail Kamara ten minutes into the half. He livened up the Maidenhead attack and from this point on an equaliser looked likely. As the Sweeneys stood behind me engrossed in a game of iChess maybe there was some sort of psychic interplay with the black & white pieces on the pitch finding a more effective formation.
With fifteen minutes to go the way forward was signaled when a Thomas free kick from the right wing was headed onto the underside of the bar by Ashan Holgate. Leon Solomon cleared an Anthony Cook header off the line with four minutes left to keep the result open and as the third and final minute of stoppage time drew to a close the pieces rearranged themselves for a final play, another Thomas free kick, this time from the left wing. With ten seconds left Holgate again rose highest and this time hit the target to earn a deserved point for United and maintain the improved home form in preparation for the visit of league leaders Woking in the Cup next Saturday.

CSI Maidenhead

2011-10-02T12:14:00.001+01:00

A criminal investigation should have started at the final whistle yesterday after the Magpies were robbed of £4,500 and a place in the third qualifying round of the FA Cup by some mysterious officiating in stoppage time at the end of the game. A forensic team would be required to find the scraps of evidence necessary to legitimate two key decisions as their rationales were invisible to the naked eye.

Despite being down to ten men for over half the game Maidenhead were looking most likely to score a winner as the ninety minute mark was passed. The Magpies had stretched the Farnborough defence all afternoon with some penetrating long balls, quite apt as Glenn Hoddle was watching from the shelf, with Martel Powell in scintillating form. His pass deep into the right corner of the pitch was hared after by attacking dynamo Manny Williams and under pressure the defender chipped his diminutive keeper to score an exquisite own goal from a tight angle but the celebrations were cut short by the linesman who waited until the ball hit the back of the net and the players had long parted to raise his flag for a presumed foul in the build up. Who knows what this was but the big question was why didn't he flag the instant it happened? Did he take pity on the miserable sight of an embarrassed defender at his feet?

Within a minute the Powell/Williams double act worked again on the opposite flank. This time Williams had the ball at his feet and an arm around his chest as the defender tried to jostle him off the ball, Williams stayed on his feet and after the defender, having failed in his Machiavellian mission, collapsed in a heap leaving just the keeper to beat the referee awarded a free kick to Farnborough when surely he should have let play continue then dismiss the defender for a professional foul?

Then again this was par for the course in Maidenhead's encounters with Farnborough. I missed the win in August over the non league kings of financial doping, but was reminded of it just before the kick off when a Farnborough fan chose to scream abuse at the Maidenhead bench for being whingers that day when Chris Taylor was stretchered off having been crippled for the season by Ashley Winn. Its this sort of thing that put Farnborough on my games to avoid list, not quite eclipsing an incident in the 2000 Isthmian League Cup Final in that other loathsome part of Hampshire, Basingstoke, when a woman standing behind me informed Chuk Agudosi that he should "go back to the jungle".

Anyway back to the football. This tumultuous FA Cup tie began in whizz bang fashion with both teams launching balls forward at every opportunity. One punt from Nevin Saroya found Williams whose shot hit the post whilst at the other end Reece Connolly went close for 'borough. Maidenhead suffered an early set back when Max Worsfold limped off injured having forced a great save from Sam Somerville. Then with half time in sight United went down to ten men when Sam Beasant was sent off. His onlooking dad Dave must have winced as for third time his son came out of his penalty area and failed to deal adequately with a long ball. The first two attempts saw long shots on an open goal go wide but this time Beasant got his hands to the ball to allow Andrew Fagan to tidy up behind him and a red card was inevitable.

Earlier Maidenhead had taken the lead with a glorious sweeping move which Ashan Holgate instigated with a deft back heel to Anthony Thomas who drove inside from the left wing, passing to Williams who helped the ball onto Powell on the right to score with a drilled shot inside the far post.

This proved to be a mixed blessing for both teams. After the break Farnborough used the extra man to briefly run Maidenhead ragged and it was no surprise when Adam Bygrave eluded a statuesque Magpie backline to convert Connolly's cross. Instead of going for the jugular they then sat back and Maidenhead slowly worked their way back into the game, an approach exemplified by the tireless Fagan who often doubled up on his defensive duties on the right side of midfield. Following the dismissal Drax had surprisingly opted to replace the hard working Thomas rather than the languid Holgate with Jordan Clement and the young Shots keeper pushed his claim for the number one spot in the replay with three good saves from Tony Garrod and Reece Connolly (twice). This enabled the fitter Magpies to press for the winner which was cruelly denied them in stoppage time by the men in black and so go into the replay without suspended talisman Williams and Bobby Behzadi. Time for Will Hendry to return and inspire a win at Cherrywood Road?

Post script: Seeing Dave Beasant at the game reminded me that Maidenhead fielded two sons of the 80s crazy gang yesterday both in goal!

The raw and the cooked

2011-09-29T22:04:00.001+01:00

Arsenal edged a third successive win last night, beating Olympiakos 2-1 in an entertaining open game. With Arsenal fielding what could almost pass for a Carling Cup XI, such were their injury problems, this was quite predictable although the opening ten minutes suggested a smooth ride for the Gunners.

Mikel Arteta in particular was given the freedom of the midfield from the kick off and it was no surprise when Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who already looks set to eclipse Theo Walcott, scored the opening goal. This delighted the person sitting next to me who must have been related to Harry Enfield's Arsenal loving kebab seller Stavros. The night was initially punctuated by his shouts of "come on Alex my boy" in a strong southern European accent, which soon became overshadowed with his interjections of "bloody hell Arsenal" as Olympiakos fought their way back into the game. Still after Arteta had cleared off the line, Andre Santos doubled the lead.

The Greeks soon pulled one back when they exploited Arsenal's achilles heel, the set piece, David Fuster heading home from a short corner. The goal, coupled with some great fist pumping action from the away fans, was all the encouragement Olympiakos needed to go in search of an equaliser. They went close on more than one occasion and throughout the second half it seemed another goal for either team was likely but there was no further score.

For Arsenal three important points towards qualification for the knockout stages and some valuable experience for raw youngsters like Chamberlain and Frimpong. I'm yet to be convinced by any of the deadline day signings with Santos particularly disappointing from a defensive viewpoint, Dani Alves he ain't. Add in the likes of Tomas Rosicky, Marouane Chamakh and Andrey Arshavin all off their game to some degree and its clear that the Arsenal recovery has a long way to go yet.

Deep Blue Day

2011-09-25T10:12:00.003+01:00

An afternoon to forget yesterday. One that would have been better spent wandering around Westfield, it really was that bad. The blue theme began when I stepped onto the train at Shepherd's Bush. There was barely standing room on board as it was full of Chelsea fans going to their game at Stamford Bridge. However I was surrounded by blue shirts once more on arrival at Gander Green Lane as wearing one seemed to be a way of gaining entry to that modern footballing beast, the family fun day. Hardly surprising as I was in Surrey and good to see a larger than usual number watching their local team. I draw the line though at the liberal distribution of a device which made a vuvuzela type sound which destroyed any chance of atmosphere. Perhaps this was part of an African theme with Sutton fielding a mascot dressed as a giraffe but the kick off saw the game as a sideshow to everything else going on at the Borough sports ground which had the feeling of a summer fete with a football match going on somewhere in the middle.

Sutton took charge from the word go, with Maidenhead barely making it past the halfway line in the first forty minutes. With Sutton manager Paul Doswell fielding a cast of ex Eastleigh players, Maidenhead's poor record against the Spitfires crossed my mind, and by the break it felt like one of our many defeats against the Hampshire club.

Maidenhead's shortcomings were the inability of the midfield and attack to keep the ball and thus relieve pressure on a makeshift defence. This created the environment for Sutton to ruthlessly turn the defensive errors that ensued into goals. The first saw a stray pass picked up by Craig Watkins whose shot was saved by Sam Beasant only for Watkins to pick up the loose ball again to finish from close range in the seventh minute. He doubled the score ten minutes later when he nonchalantly finished at the far post from a Leroy Griffiths cross from the right.

Any doubt about the destination of the points was removed ahead of half time when Sutton scored two more goals to notch up the Magpies' fourth four goal deficit this season. The first came from the penalty spot, a soft award given for a challenge by Bobby Behzadi on Anthony Riviere, Watkins taking the opportunity to complete a thirty minute hat trick. Then to thoroughly depress the Maidenhead mood the final goal of the half followed a Magpies attack which saw a Max Worsfold cross find Anthony Thomas whose shot grazed the crossbar. The ball then moved swiftly to the other end where Griffiths caught Beasant off his line with a lob which hit the inside of the post and was flagged as a goal despite a Marcus Rose clearance.

This passage of play was a dress rehearsal for an open second half after an interval which saw the visiting Met Police contingent focus on monitoring celebrity penalty taker Tim Vine's criminal use of puns leaving Drax to deal with the felonious first half performance from the Magpies. Thus Gordon Strachan and everyone else in the bumper four figure crowd had, despite just the one goal, a more entertaining second half to enjoy.
The Maidenhead front six showed much greater invention and desire in the second period, creating enough chances to mount an unlikely comeback. This change in performance was typified by Will Hendry and Ashan Holgate whose machinations provided opportunities aplenty for the likes of Martel Powell and Andrew Fagan. Worsfold came closest to scoring when he hit the post before Anthony Thomas pulled one back as the hour mark approached. However this resurgence was counterbalanced by further chances for Sutton, Harry Beautyman hitting the post following a good save by Beasant from Joel Ledgister. So by the final whistle the depression was barely lifted as I made my way back home to West London through the blue hordes trailing away from the Bridge.
So with twelve league games gone the first chapter of the season closes with Maidenhead United in a satisfactory mid table position, the joy of some great wins tempered by the scale of the defeats which call to mind John Dreyer's first season when a similar placing was achieved despite regular thumpings. Two games a week over a six week period has taken its toll in suspensions and injuries which will have a real bearing on selection in the second quarter of the campaign up to the festive season with the nature of the fixture list largely dictated by the two FA competitions.

The Taming of the Shrews

2011-09-21T21:36:00.000+01:00

Could Arsenal's start to the season get any worse? It would cost just £10 to find out as they took on Shrewsbury Town in the League Cup.Taking my seat thirteen rows behind the Town dugout, the aura of excitement, usually so prevalent on these cut price evenings which allow many a rare opportunity to watch an Arsenal game live, was in short supply save from the massed ranks of the Shrewsbury fans behind one goal who needed little prompting to remind everyone of the strange name of their region, Salop.

With the ground little more than two thirds full, an early goal was required to lift the atmosphere. In the opening ten minutes Arsenal scarcely went into their own half as Marouane Chamakh was twice denied by goalkeeper Ben Smith. Having survived the early onslaught though Shrewsbury took the game to their hosts, serving notice of their intent by hitting the post before Jamie Collins opened the scoring with a header. Cue much celebration at the Town end and a smidgen of congratulation all round for their manager Graham Turner, a great unsung hero of the lower divisions with a managerial career spanning over twenty years.

Naturally the goal also sparked a few boos and panic from the Arsenal ranks, with Shrewsbury continuing to dominate. In particular Town defender Reuben Hazell looked like a chip of his old uncle Bob. The tide turned when Francis Coquelin ran half the length of the pitch to make a great tackle in his own area, and thanks to Smith fumble Arsenal drew level when Kieran Gibbs' header crept in at the near post.

In the second half a powerful strike from Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain completed the comeback before Yossi Benayoun capped a good night's work with a third.

Game over and the post mortem in Che Guevara's produced the consensus of a good night for Ignasi Miquel, Benayoun and Coquelin. However Johann Djourou despite being captain looked a man broken by his Old Trafford experience, as did Carl Jenkinson, whilst Ju Young Park gave little cause for optimism. Still job done and the chance of another cheap night out in the next round.

PNE's future's bright Phil Brown's orange

2011-09-18T10:44:00.000+01:00

Phil Brown is one of those marmite personalities so prevalent in football. Equal parts admirable for what he achieved with Hull and derisible for his attention grabbing antics. Thus I had mixed feelings when he was given the job at Preston, a club I will always have a lot of time for. Relegation last season was inevitable prior to his arrival at Deepdale and I was surprised to see PNE highly tipped to bounce back with promotion at the first attempt but this early season optimism has been justified with a fine run of wins.

I last saw a Brown team play when Hull travelled to Arsenal for an FA Cup Quarter Final tie in North London. Hull were first out of the blocks and took a deserved lead but with the Gunners there for the taking Brown ordered the Tigers to sit back and kill time. Inevitably this came back to haunt them as Arsenal won the game with two late but the match hit the headlines for the wrong reasons when Brown and his assistant Brian Horton got involved in a post match incident with non playing captain Cesc Fabregas. So Brown's fate was sealed in my eyes as a chancer looking for publicity to mask his shortcomings.

Horton was equally damned by association but his role in yesterday's match at that West London football theme park in Brentford was cast in a positive light many years ago as it was whilst he was manager of Manchester City that he signed current Bees manager Uwe Rosler. With Brentford also showing early season promise the afternoon offered the opportunity for an exciting Football League encounter. So when invited to join old friends at the game I needed little encouragement to pick this fixture over a schlep down Welling High Road to Maidenhead's game against the Wings.

It was many years since I had visited Griffin Park and I had forgotten what a good, if a little expensive, day out at the match it presents. The word of the day was convenience. I was able to jump on a bus at the end of my road for a short trip down the A4 where I would find a welcoming pub to get something to eat, down a few beers and take in the early TV game. The three pints of Fullers Red Fox went down a treat with the unsubtly branded Victory burger in the Lord Nelson, but I was left with my head in my hands at the abject display by the Gunners at Blackburn. The pub filled up nicely with home fans, all proudly wearing red and white striped shirts of various vintages, and so we moved onto the main event at Griffin Park.

A short walk to the ground felt like entering a time machine as the best aspects of pre Sky football were on display. There were emptying pubs on every corner of the ground as fans of both teams wandered up to the turnstiles, offered up the requisite in admission in cash then proceeded unmolested by stewards to take their seat or place on the terrace as they wished. Football as it was, football as it should be.

I lost the vote in our gang of three so we headed for the covered home end which felt comfortably full. The best aspect of Griffin Park is the way all four sides of the ground sit tightly next to the pitch so a crowd of just over six thousand produced a good atmosphere for a suitably competitive game.

The scoreline of 3-1 slightly flattered Preston but they were worthy of three points with Brown winning the tactical battle over Rosler in a performance which saw the Lillywhites attack quickly and ruthlessly. Throughout the game they were always a shade better than the Bees who nevertheless worked hard to stay in the game until the third North End goal effectively sealed the result with seventeen minutes left.

Preston's superiority hinged on a midfield diamond which saw Graham Alexander screening the defence to allow Iain Hume a free role behind the front two. In contrast Brentford's more rigid structure saw them gain ground steadily without the snap of Preston's fast counter attacking to create chances. One of the first of these moves saw Mellor cut in from the left to shrug off a defender and score with a fine finish. Brentford soon responded when my ex student Marcus Bean played in Myles Weston on the right wing whose run and cross gave Nial McGinn the opportunity to equalise.

Preston regained the lead just after the half hour mark when the Brentford defence gave Hume the time and space to score with a terrific shot from outside the penalty area. The second half saw Brentford push hard to get back on level terms but it was Preston who scored final goal of the game when a well worked free kick routine saw my wife's ex student Clarke Carlisle at the far post head the ball back across the face of the goal where Mellor was waiting to lash the ball home. Three points and a sixth consecutive win for Preston who on this evidence will mount a strong promotion challenge worthy of a team containing the likes of Carlisle, Alexander, Mellor and Hume. Brentford may well stay around the upper reaches of mid table but will always present a great opportunity to show anyone under the age of twenty what an afternoon watching professional football should entail, finished off of course by a return to the pub to chew over the day's action.

Captain Kirk leads Weston to boldly go

2011-09-11T10:35:00.000+01:00

Maidenhead United v Weston-super-mare had become an utterly predictable fixture, with a fourth goalless draw in five York Road meetings only being averted by a stoppage time Lee Barney winner last season. This was largely due to Weston adopting a typically Southern League attitude of thou shalt not pass with Maidenhead lacking the guile to break down a ten man defence.

Having surprised many last season by effectively transplanting a Bridgwater team into the Alliance South from the lower reaches of the Southern League, Craig Laird now looks to shaping up his team for a tilt at the play offs. The sheer lack of height in the Seagulls line up suggested that the hoof to the trees philosophy had disappeared and so it was proved as they ran out 3-1 winners.

For their part Maidenhead were missing midfielders Craig Taylor and Will Hendry, with a lack of suitable replacements leading to the Magpies fielding a very attacking line up, with a predictably disjointed look. However with United in fine form with thirteen points from the last five games, the first half was a tight affair with both sides showing much attacking intent without end product. The exception to this was Weston captain Ben Kirk's startling strike from distance to break the deadlock midway through the first half. Kirk hobbled off injured before the interval but had set the game up nicely for his team.

After the restart Weston had a good claim for a penalty turned down which cancelled out two half claims earlier on by Maidenhead and seemed to have sealed the points when Jamie Price finished off a neat free kick in the 63rd minute.

Maidenhead struck back quickly though when Manny Williams capitalised on a collision between the Weston goalkeeper and a defender to apply a sweet finish to score. The diminutive striker should then have completed the comeback when Martel Powell supplied him with a pass inside the penalty area but Williams put his effort into the side netting.

Still there was plenty of time left with the referee rightly taking into account the Weston time wasting antics, particularly from the hectoring Kane Ingram. The man in the middle did not help himself by being all too ready to engage in conversation during the game but by indicating a minimum of seven minutes stoppage time ensured that the Somerset gamesmanship was accounted for. Drax threw on Nevin Saroya as a target man with time on the watch and although the keeper was beaten forcing a Weston defender to head off the line Maidenhead could not conjure up the equaliser so it was annoyingly Ingram who had the last word by scoring from a breakaway attack.

300

2011-09-04T13:22:00.001+01:00

Or as the marker above at Truro station more accurately put it 300 and 3/4 miles from London was the suitably novel journey facing me on non league day. Having made it to the top of the reverse L shape that is England to watch Maidenhead take on Blyth Spartans in the FA Trophy ten years ago, the promotion of Truro City to the Blue Square Bet South had presented the opportunity to travel to the westerly point with a first ever trip to Cornwall for the Magpies.

As I waited for the bus to take me to Paddington I received news of the Magpies that had already arrived in Truro, some by the Friday night sleeper train and as I approached Paddington I recalled the largely successful fortnightly trips to the west country during United's brief and ultimately glorious spell in the Southern League. Just how much further I would be travelling hit home when the train reached Tiverton in under two hours, the only Devon club Maidenhead faced in that promotion season. The lionshare of the journey was still to come with that great achievement of the nationalised railway, the High Speed Train being wasted as it crawled to my destination. Strange to think that this journey was unchanged in my lifetime although a Cornwall fixture would have been impossible without an overnight stop for the first century of organised football, a nice contrast with the previous Saturday's game against Staines, opponents for over a hundred years.

Still I wasn't alone with enough fans on this train to make up a team with those already in Truro. With the stunning coastal scenery between Exeter and Newton Abbot, time passed satisfactorily on a packed train although the grey mist shrouding Dartmoor gave no hope of an Indian Summer's day. Passing over the suitably battleship grey Royal Albert Bridge, the dark clouds deposited drizzle and on arrival in Truro there was nothing to lift the gloom thanks to a dull walk along the ring road to City's Treyew Road ground.

After some welcome pints of Tribute in the cosy clubhouse the approaching kick off lured me outside to a distinctly underwhelming ground that will need plenty of work on it to obtain the grading necessary to stay at this level of football. Clearly money had been spent on an impressive playing surface and the talent to play on it, but what surrounded it was a basic county league ground with a small stand and an almost complete lack of terracing which was particularly annoying as there was none under the only covered standing area. Two sides consisted of temporary seating (uncovered along the side, covered behind the goal) which gave credence to rumours circulating in the bar over a move to push the local authority into building a new stadium for both football and rugby club, a policy which had led to no little controversy surrounding Chairman Kevin Heaney which was augmented by his role in a protracted takeover of Plymouth Argyle. This had led to an internet campaign by Plymouth fans to disrupt the game but this proved to be nothing more than cyberchat, unlike goings on a the previous home game which had led to a seemingly knee jerk draconian ban on Truro Independent Supporters Merchandise being worn in the ground. This explained what proved to be an unnecessary police presence and so everyone was free to focus on the football.

The first half produced little incident but set the pattern for the second period with Truro looking dangerous from set pieces whilst Maidenhead looked most potent attacking down either flank. Some well timed interventions by Leigh Henry helped to stop the former whilst the Magpies couldn't quite conjure up a goal scoring opportunity with the latter.

This all changed within two minutes of the restart when Maidenhead took the lead with a well worked goal. A quickly taken free kick by Will Hendry went short to Bobby Behzadi who found Manny Williams heading for goal. Williams unselfishly laid the ball off to his right into the path of Martel Powell who stunned Truro keeper Tim Sandercombe with a delicate shot which went in at the near post.

This goal sparked a period of Maidenhead domination and they could have gone onto seal the points with Williams again pulling the strings to give Alex Wall the opportunity to strike a fierce shot which was parried by Sandercombe, Daniel Brown's follow up being deflected wide.

Truro then took the initiative, Scott Walker forcing a good save out of Lumley before beating him with a neat free kick only to see the ball hit the inside of the post. The loose ball fell straight to Barry Hayles to equalise from close range and the points were up for grabs once more.

It was Maidenhead's classy counter attacks pivoting on the fulcrum of star man Williams that still looked most likely to produce a further goal and so it was that after the diminutive striker himself had been denied at close range by Sandercombe, he capitalised on great work from Brown and Powell to feed substitute Anthony Thomas on the left wing. Thomas then cut inside to unleash a shot from just inside the penalty area to beat Sandercombe with a strike worthy of three points.

Thus the final whistle sparked celebrations from the travelling Magpies as the players went off to a well deserved night out on the Cornish Riviera. Wandering back to the station the day was made complete when my 50/1 treble of wins for Thurrock, Farnborough and Maidenhead was confirmed.

So the perfect non league day. A journey a bit too long to repeat but definitely one worth making yesterday.

Forward March Halted

2011-08-28T11:40:00.000+01:00

Felt like two points dropped yesterday after an opening half an hour where the Magpies were every bit as dominant as in the win over Thurrock but were only able to score once.

The die was cast in the second minute when a Manny Williams effort from close range hit the post. This was the signal for United to set up camp in the Staines half, gradually ratcheting up the pressure.

Ex Magpie Louis Wells was able to push a Chris Taylor long shot round the post in the twentieth but cracked in the next wave of attack when he was only able to deflect a Will Hendry effort into the path of Williams who helped the ball over the line to break his duck for the season.

So the afternoon looked set fair for a third successive win for Maidenhead and the chance to erase their negative goal difference, but a soft penalty let the visitors back into the game eleven minutes ahead of the interval. Striker Richard Butler seemed to be going nowhere in the box but once goalkeeper Billy Lumley went to ground, he was presented with the opportunity of an outstretched arm to tumble over, and as was repeated several times on Match of the Day that evening, the referee pointed to the spot.

Butler got up and converted the spot kick himself with the equaliser changing in the tone of the match, Maidenhead going into their shell and reverting to the virtual 8-0-2 formation which ubiquitous in the Devonshire years. Unlike the previous Saturday at Bromley where two disciplined banks of four had both repelled attack and provided a midfield outlet for respite, Maidenhead seemed to be pinned to the eighteen yard line and it was only the post which stopped Butler giving Staines an unlikely half time lead.

After half time Maidenhead again started strongly but Staines looked equally dangerous on the break so that although Hendry and Bobby Behzadi went close in the dying minutes it was David Wheeler who had the best chance to score in the second half, Lumley standing up well to make the save.

Looking ahead to Monday's trip to Farnborough the wisdom of squad rotation, particularly in the ageing back line in self evident but the lack of a replacement for Daniel Brown's energy and drive in the midfield to compliment the creativity of Hendry and Taylor means Bradley Quamina's return to fitness cannot come quick enough.

'Rockin Magpies

2011-08-24T12:12:00.001+01:00

Maidenhead United's home record over the last 12 months and their all time home record against Purfleet/Thurrock had one thing in common until last night, one solitary league win. The recent home record is well documented and when combined with the annual miserable defeat against the Fleet before a sparse crowd at York Road you could say expectations were low as I walked down to York Road last night. Picking up the team sheet eyebrows were raised at the amount of churn in the starting eleven following Saturday's impressive win at Bromley. Still it was ten years since the nadir of a defeat against a Purfleet team unable to field a goalkeeper and the current Thurrock team had had a rough start to the season after their AGM Cup reprieve.
Hopes were raised after a bright Maidenhead opening which was capped in the twelfth by a goal from Martel Powell.This followed a fierce strike from distance by Daniel Brown which goalkeeper Craig Holloway could only parry to Powell who applied an exquisite finish to curl the ball inside Holloway's left hand post.
Maidenhead continued to dominate and effectively won the game in an exciting two minute spell midway through the first half. In the twenty sixth minute Manny Williams made a strong run down the middle only to be hauled down outside the penalty area. Alex Wall thumped the resulting free kick into the wall, the ball being deflected wide for a corner from which Will Hendry received the ball in the left corner of the box only to be chopped down for a penalty kick. Anthony Thomas scored from the spot then from the restart the Magpies swiftly turned over possession to get on the attack again, Wall making it three when he despatched a loose ball in the box. Two goals in two minutes and Maidenhead out of sight at home for the first time in eighteen months!
A great forty five minutes work was sealed in stoppage time before the interval when Powell picked up a Williams pass to score his second. After the break Thurrock predictably picked up, Brown heading an effort off the line and Billy Lumley saving well from a Dean Cracknell longshot but there was no denying the Magpies three points and a second consecutive clean sheet to balance the disastrous opening four days of the season. Lets hope this heralds the start of a more profitable home record this season.

Trevor

2011-08-22T21:00:00.004+01:00

I had a sad start to the week this morning when I found out Trevor Kingham had died after a long illness. My first meeting with Trevor was a salutary one. It was sometime in the early 90s at a Maidenhead United match. We talked about a Reading game I had recently attended and so next time we met he called me "Royal". On both occasions he made me feel really welcome in his presence and, due to him being on the MUFC committee at the time, by extension welcome at Maidenhead United Football club.

These first encounters told me the sort of person Trevor was, a football supporter. This may seem a simple thing to say but in my eyes its a hard test to pass. Firstly Trevor loved watching football anywhere and everywhere. Secondly, and more importantly, he loved watching football in the company of fellow afficianados whatever their allegiance. Finally, and most importantly, he loved doing anything he could to improve the experience of everyone watching the club.

The last point was self evident by the way he threw himself into the cause at York Road when he arrived about twenty years ago. His detailed account of this time can be found in the five issues of the first ever Maidenhead United fanzine, The Shagging Magpies, which he co-produced with Steve Beard and proudly told me made the top 10 fanzines list (albeit in the Sunday Sport!). The story of the day he went to Millwall to claim some unwanted seats from the Den to install in the main stand at York Road gives a flavour of what must have been hundreds of hours that he spent working to improve the ground. In addition he did anything he could to help the club run better from Youth team secretary to chief steward and, for one day only, cameraman (pictured right).
I got to know him properly during the 1994/95 season which began with the first ever visit of Aldershot to York Road. It meant so much to Trevor to see a four figure crowd watching a Maidenhead home game that he disappeared from his daughter's wedding to catch the action before heading back to the reception. Aside from games I also spent plenty of evenings over the next two years with Trevor helping to produce the match programme on the club photocopier. This included his regular column "Terrace Talk" which was always reproduced in a tiny font as he had so much to say in every issue. These evenings provided a great opportunity to hear some of his tales of the terraces particularly watching QPR and England. I can remember one tall story about QPR fans' innovative use of walking sticks in the late 60s which seemed extraordinary until I read a northern club's fanzine article recounting a visit to Loftus Road about the very same. Another topic was Euro 92 when he was accompanied by a journalist from 4-4-2 magazine and delighted in showing him things from a fans eye view. Then there was the epic saga of his trip to Italy to see England earn the point to qualify for the 1998 World Cup.

Sometimes I came across tales of Trevor quite unexpectedly. For example one Christmas I opened a present in the form of a history of the English game to see a picture of Trevor being escorted off the Loftus Road pitch by a policeman after leading a pitch invasion during a game as part of a successful protest campaign against the farcical plan to merge the Rs with Fulham. Another time I was in a pub in Bloomsbury after a political meeting and got chatting to someone who used to play for Trevor's Sunday team. He was that kind of guy, well known and well loved by all.

Tartan at Barton

Above all though I remember some great days out at the football with Trevor. The pictures on this page give a flavour of these times, a trip to Bognor (top) when we smuggled him and Chairman Logic into Butlins, Trevor sleeping under his QPR blanket, and a mad day at Barton wearing tartan (pictured right) which took the edge off the first and worst of many Magpie defeats at that strange place.
A football match was always the only excuse required to get away from it all which I found out when Trevor picked up on my Preston North End connection to invite me to join him on a trip to see another club who he spent many hours watching and in this case organising supporter coaches for, Plymouth Argyle. Trevor had lived in Devon for a time and thought nothing of driving down for a Friday night fixture at Home Park.
As the century turned Trevor became a less frequent visitor to York Road and eventually moved abroad. He last returned, all the way from Turkey for our 2007 appearance in the FA Cup first round at Horsham. He hung around for the next home game on the following Tuesday, the last time I saw him.
Early this year, on hearing he was seriously ill I sent him a card and was bowled over to get a reply from his daughter Denise. She told me he still wore two Maidenhead United T shirts with pride, speaking with great fondness about the club and I gladly sent him some Magpie posters to decorate his room.
Perhaps its fitting that he survived through the summer until his beloved QPR kicked off in the top flight of English football again. As for Maidenhead United I can think of no bigger tribute than if anyone says the name "Trevor" those of us of a certain vintage automatically think of Mr Kingham: gentleman, loyal supporter, friend.

Lindos FC

2011-08-21T21:59:00.001+01:00

Spotted this ground whilst wandering round the Lindos acropolis.

What a great location for a ground!

Hayesmazing Lane

2011-08-21T11:14:00.003+01:00

Maidenhead have never been the best of starters but two consecutive 4-0 defeats helped to eclipse even the opening month pessimism of 1995 and 2005. Still hope springs etc. and the irrational optimism which places faith in coincidental events left me in no doubt that Hayes Lane, Bromley was the place to be on Saturday. In my seven previous visits to this part of Kent I had seen five Magpie wins and two draws. Coincidence or with recent results in mind had Drax worked out a flawless plan to beat Mark Goldberg's Bromley?

Pre match, soaking up the hopeless consensus of the Tuesday night defeat at Dorchester in the bar, I looked across the pitch and failed to share the stubborn keep calm and carry on nature of the cricketers playing in the teeming rain on the neighbouring cricket pitch, not helped by the big screen showing an all too predictable late collapse by Arsenal in their lunchtime match against Liverpool.

Still having ploughed through crowds of tourists understandably bewildered by the tube shutdowns in central London, and suffered a stale pint of Amstel, it was time to hit the impressive Bromley terraces, steep with just enough cover behind each goal. From the kick off the partnership of Scarborough and Saroya looked solid, and United showed confidence in their forward moves. Chief attacking protagonist was Anthony Thomas who capped a superb first half display with a fantastic individual goal in the ninth minute. Driving forward through the inside right channel he went through the Bromley defence like a knife through butter before applying an accomplished finish to post an early rival to last term's goal of the season by Ashley Nicholls from almost the same spot.

Bar the kneejerk reaction which always follows a goal Bromley had little response to going behind for the first time this season and indeed it was Maidenhead who could have gone into half time further ahead with both Manny Williams and Max Worsfold being denied. Indeed the impressive Bromley centre back Joe Dolan was the key factor in keeping the deficit to one. United also had a good claim for a penalty when a Bromley defender developed a bee like attraction to Alex Wall's yellow shirt grabbing a good handful of it to a total lack of interest from the referee.

After the break the Bromley management almost inspired an immediate comeback when a fierce Orlando Smith strike was parried by debutant goalkeeper Billy Lumley. This set the tone for the second period with Lumley imperious at the back, dealing with any Bromley effort with calm efficiency. With no way through for Bromley, Maidenhead grew in confidence helped by the introduction of Will Hendry for Williams. Hendry, bar his customary petulant caution, clearly relished his role just behind frontman Wall as Bromley became increasingly desperate for an equaliser which four minutes of stoppage time could not facilitate, the final whistle bringing a reward for those Magpie fans who had also made the midweek trip to Dorset.

So six United wins and two draws now at Hayes Lane, I just hope our appalling record at home to Purfrock isn't similarly extended on Tuesday night.

No Case For the Defence

2011-08-14T23:18:00.002+01:00

Bizarre opening day in the Blue Square Bet South with three clubs getting soundly thrashed at home. Unfortunately the Magpies were one of them in a somewhat inevitable defeat after a pre season consisting of nine wins. So its very much as you were in terms of home form, with York Road providing Tonbridge Angels with their welcome gift of three points. The Angels looked a pretty solid in defence putting in some committed tackles to block the United attacks with a goalkeeper in Lee Worgan more than capable of anything that got through. In attack Tonbridge moved the ball forward swiftly practically going 4-2-4 with effective use of two wide men, the left sided of which Chris Henry turned Leon Solomon inside out to score the opening goal from a tight angle. As the game drew on the ponderous nature of the Maidenhead defence increasingly revealed itself with an embarrassing mix up allowing Jake Beecroft to score the second before the back line stood waiting for an offside flag whilst Jon Main raced clear to make it three. The goal of the game saw Ade Olorunda make it four. All in all an afternoon in which any delusions that the season would be anything but a relegation battle were dispelled. Tuesday night looks like being a real six pointer with opponents Dorchester also going down 4-0 on Saturday. At least I had Mark Smith's excellent new Maidenhead United history to remind me of better times past on the way home.

Trams Crash

2011-08-07T19:25:00.003+01:00

The Combined Counties League has had rather more publicity than usual this close season due to the innovative election of Guernsey to its ranks and also bucked the trend by starting their league programme a week earlier than the norm. The Channel Islanders are starting in Division One and are expected to progress to the Premier Division where, having seen a couple of good contests last season, I opted to take another look having no interest in pre season friendlies which I am sure carry much weight for coaching staff but denuded of the context of competition have little relevance for a layman like myself. So I left home and crossed the road into Hounslow where I traversed to the other the side of the borough to watch Hanworth Villa take on Croydon.

Hanworth was a West London suburb unknown to me until it became part of my route to see the Magpies play at Hampton and its sleepy nature was reflected by the Rectory Meadow ground being tucked away behind the Village Hall.

Free viewing/entry was seemingly available from the adjacent park but paying £5 not only gave you access to a neat well manicured ground but also provided the opportunity to purchase an excellent programme for a further pound.

Both clubs seem to have gone far in recent years, although in opposite directions. Hanworth are looking forward to their first FA Cup tie later this month, a five year target met by turning a park pitch into an enclosed ground. Two dugouts are the only construction on 3 sides with a woodland path behind one goal. On the clubhouse side there is a 100 seat portable stand (containing turnstiles which I'm sure are soon to be installed) and a small covered metal terrace. There is also a well populated beer garden between the clubhouse and the pitch.

Croydon on the other hand are a club in decline. My initial memory is of an ambitious outfit duking it out with Maidenhead for promotion to the Isthmian League Premier Division. Their nickname was taken from the new Tram system in the borough and the Surrey club seemed to have big spending plans of their own, snapping up Magpie star striker Chuk Agudosi after he sensationally walked out of York Road on the eve of the 1999 County Cup Final. However despite beating United to the Isthmian League Division One title in 2000 the Trams soon went into sharp decline which was hardly surprising given their woeful support.

Indeed the Trams only retained their current status due to an AGM cup reprieve the full details of which I read about prior to kick off in the programme to a soundtrack of the drone of the dual carriageway in the absence of a PA.

The editor quite rightly lamented the way the new Windsor club were given a place in the Premier Division pushing Bookham out. With Villa finishing strongly they must be worried by the threat that their hard work over many years in building a club ready for Senior football might be thwarted by the Royalists who have a reported budget which would make one or two Blue Square Bet South clubs a little envious. Furthermore the protestations in the media that this is a new club ring hollow when they have the same management team and many of the same players that won promotion to the Southern League Premier Division two years ago.

However if Hanworth can show the same purpose and vigour apparent in their opening day display they shouldn't have much to worry about.

The game began with a contrasting clash of styles, the Villains opting for an up tempo direct approach whilst Croydon adopted a measured passing game. Villa's pressure paid off as early as the seventh minute when Ricky Harden capitalised on a defensive lapse to score from close range.

Croydon continued to sit too deep with early substitute Duane Antonio being a real thorn in their left flank. Lawrie Shennan then scored twice in a minute to put the result beyond doubt midway through the first half.
Although looking likely to be routed at this point Croydon worked hard to get back into the game after the break but a fourth goal in the 63rd minute by Antonio off the post after the keeper failed to collect a cross confirmed the Middlesex club as early season pace setters.

Post Script:
The Maidenhead Advertiser report of Windsor's opening game against South Park gave rise to another blast from the past with former Croydon Keeper James Wastell denying ex Magpie favourite Ryan Ashe a late winner.

Post Script - Champions de l'Europe

2011-06-01T16:03:00.002+01:00

Just when I thought my season was over the opportunity to add an inconsequential post script presented itself when I discovered that the Women's Champions League Final was due to be held at Craven Cottage. Advertised by way of flags flying from lampposts along King Street and the Fulham Palace Road, an entry fee of £5 seemed too good to pass up and so I found myself heading down to the river after work last Thursday with a friend as we had done many times before the previous season to watch Fulham's amazing European adventure.

The number of outside broadcast trucks in the road leading up to the ground suggested this was a big occasion and the crowd milling around the ground looked like giving it a sufficient audience. With a splendid programme available for £2 the whole matchday experience provided a pleasing contrast to the financial bonanza that would be taking place on Saturday at Wembley.

Entering the ground we paused to look at the kitsch curio which is the new Michael Jackson statue (presumably this means UEFA won't be hosting any schoolboy football here) before taking our seats in the Riverside stand next to the Directors box.

This was the first time we had attended a women's football match so what to expect? Would the cliches about skill compensating for strength be true? Would the coach lambast the team at half time by accusing them of playing like a bunch of men? Certainly it would be a professional affair as the tenth European final would be contested by two full time outfits: Olympique Lyonnais and FFC Turbine Potsdam.

This was to be a rematch of the 2010 final when Potsdam triumphed in a penalty shootout, the first final to be decided in one night with the first eight all being two leg ties. As their name suggests Lyonnais were the women's section of the famous Lyon club but Potsdam's story was more interesting. They were also an offshoot of a men's club but their forebear was based in the former East Germany with the word Turbine being a link to their origins as works team of an Energy company. Unlike all their other East German counterparts Potsdam had prospered after the fall of the Berlin Wall to become the best women's team in the unified nation. However despite the appeal of their backstory we had ended up sitting in the Lyonnais section so decided to root for the French.

Any late misgivings about the status of the game were allayed by the appearance of Michel Platini to our right and the game kicked off in front of a crowd in the region of 10,000.

The opening exchanges saw the Germans look every inch the title holders with a couple of well organised attacks almost exposing a frail looking French defence.

However the French soon played their way into the game with some dazzling wing play from Louisa Necib and Elodie Thomis. With German goalkeeper Anna Sarholz having a night worthy of Manuel Almunia it was no surprise when the French took the lead midway when Sarholz had a morris dancer moment and passed up more than one chance to clear the ball before the powerful Wendie Renard fired home the loose ball.

The second half saw the Germans attempt to get back on level terms but their lack of shape in the midfield meant the French remained a threat particularly through the strong running of Lotta Schelin. The ebb and flow of the game was sometimes checked by the odd bad foul which referee Dagmar Dankova seemed loathe to chastise even when two German defenders paired up to body check a French player. This proved to be the breaking point as a vengeful challenge minutes later led to the only booking of the game.

As the final whistle drew near a German equaliser seemed a possibility but a wise French decision to substitute their tiring wingers led to their replacements Eugenie Le Sommer and Lara Dickenmann combining to score a goal worthy of any final, Sommer's cross from the right wing being mercilessly dispatched by Dickenmann to win the elegant trophy for the French.

The final whistle was the cue for delirious French celebrations as they became the first Gallic club team, male or female, to hold the title Champions De L'Europe. On receiving the cup from their counterpart Platini a fusillade of confetti exploded to our right and another great Craven Cottage European night was at an end, ironically on the day that it was revealed that the Cottagers themselves would again be playing in Europe, with their first game in June perhaps being the start of my 2011-12 season.

Jusqu'a la fin

2011-05-06T10:30:00.001+01:00

A suitable low key end to the season on May Day Bank Holiday Monday at the Berks & Bucks Senior Invitation Cup Final. There was a real end of term feel as the players and officials gathered at the Holiday Inn Maidenhead for the traditional pre cup final meal (English breakfast). The blazing sun more suitable for cricket was another reminder that it was time to lay the football season to rest although the coach tried its best to create last day drama by almost breaking down en route. The driver decided to ignore the usual route to Chesham along the M40 and through Beaconsfield, instead going right through the middle of Wycombe. After one hill too many it gave up the ghost as the engine overheated but just about managed to crawl to the Meadow.

A healthy sprinkling of Magpies made it to the game but a crowd of 336 was probably smaller than that which would have gone to the original venue of Burnham and pale in comparison to the 2,000 crowd at the Kent Senior Cup Final on the same day. Still I'd forgotten what a great setting Chesham is for a football match surrounded by the rolling Chiltern hills with its facilities just right for a game of this stature.

An innovative selection by both managers led to an entertaining first half which ended all square after Wycombe scored twice in the first ten minutes through Murtagh and Bloomfield then Ashley Smith drove the Magpies forward to equalise.

The second half was something of a damp squib with I guess both teams all played out and it came as something of a relief when the referee played enough injury time to allow Wycombe to score a penalty to win the game.

It was then back to Stripes for the end of season awards, again not helped by the change of final venue. After an unprecedented apology from Drax for the general performance of the first team over the course of the season it turned into the Ashley Nicholls show as he picked up all the major awards. This was quite deserved as his consistency has been remarkable. Without his dynamic presence in the team at virtually every game I very much doubt that relegation would have been avoided. Unfortunately he's leaving to continue his academic career in Exeter but surely goes not just with all the awards but also the accolade of the club's most intelligent footballer. Hopefully one day he'll return to the squad as Dr. Nicholls, a first for the Magpies?

The Great Escape

2011-05-01T12:32:00.002+01:00

So the stage was set for Maidenhead to complete the great escape from relegation just twenty eight days after an abject defeat at Lewes left me looking up how to get to clubs in the Southern League. In the mean time four wins two draws and a ten point deduction had taken United off the bottom and at start of play on the final day of the season in 19th place needing one point for safety only if Thurrock won at promotion chasing Farnborough.

The dramatis personae reflected the world war two prisoner of war drama. Firstly St. Albans, the victims of the ten point deduction, were those stuck underground when the Germans discovered the tunnel. Down before the escape had hardly begun. Next were lovely Lewes played by awfully nice Gordon Jackson, who made it out only to be caught a few days later when he was tricked into revealing his British identity. The Rooks looked like they could make it last week with that last minute winner at Havant only to give themselves away at home two days later to Bishops Stortford. That leaves Thurrock and Maidenhead but who would be Steve McQueen caught on the Swiss border and who would be Charles Bronson quietly rowing to safety?

A strange atmosphere surrounded York Road, reflecting the warm sun tempered by a cold easterly wind. Personally I was also haunted by the last day surrender at Newport six years ago to the very day which saw the Exiles saved at the expense of the Magpies after a similar late season winning run. Little changed when the game against Dartford kicked off as it became clear that Farnborough were beating Thurrock 2-0 and so it seemed neither side at York Road was fully committed to attack although both had the odd opening to do so. Thus half time arrived at the status quo of 0-0, Maidenhead half a job done whilst Dartford had plenty in the tank for their Kent Senior Cup Final on Monday.

The nerves started to increase when Thurrock scored early in the second half and despite Farnborough making it 3-1, a second for Thurrock sent out a warning that they were ready, willing and able to mount a comeback. Meanwhile at York Road, a Dartford counterattack saw Charlie Sheringham give them the lead and semi panic started to set in as in committing more men forward in the search for equaliser the Magpies allowed the Darts to score twice more against a stretched defence. Whilst I started to contemplate taking up smoking again Maidenhead at last showed some fighting spirit, scoring twice as the game drew into its closing stages. Although Jefferson Louis went close twice we were denied the perfect conclusion of Maidenhead completing the comeback but with no further score at Farnborough the final table remained as it was at 3 pm and the game ended on a rather odd note with Maidenhead succeeding in defeat.

This somehow seemed appropriate as although the record books will show the Magpies finished a full three points clear of Thurrock ,the margin was really only Max Worsfold's injury time winner at Ship Lane two weeks earlier. Saturday's defeat also symbolised a home campaign where the Magpies consistently were not quite good enough. All in all a disappointing Blue Square Bet South season for United. The youthful squad created the previous season failed to deliver on the promise of last term's 16th place and instead it was an influx of experience in March which instigated the great escape. Clearly much work to do over the summer to find the right blend for next season.

The Sporting Spirit

2011-04-26T21:58:00.007+01:00

George Orwell's first published work is reputed to be a childhood letter written to the Henley Standard. He went onto be educated at Eton but despite his local origins I think its safe to say that unlike former Magpie and Etonian teacher Andy Jennings' pupils he never went to watch football at York Road. His opposition to organised competitive sport was later articulated in his essay entitled "The Sporting Spirit". The following passage sums up the article and contains one of his most famous phrases:

"People want to see one side on top and the other side humiliated, and they forget that victory gained through cheating or through the intervention of the crowd is meaningless. Even when the spectators don't intervene physically they try to influence the game by cheering their own side and "rattling" opposing players with boos and insults. Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words it is war minus the shooting."

Strong stuff indeed, but at a time when an individual deems it right to send Neil Lennon a parcel bomb, simply for being the manager of Celtic, does Orwell have a point? All too often something will happen during a televised game to move the commentator to say something along the lines of football being "put into perspective". Does the mere fact that we need reminding about the need for such perspective prove Orwell right, that we are all too eager to adopt "the lunatic modern habit of identifying oneself with large power units and seeing everything in terms of competitive prestige?". Maybe? Or maybe not?

With his impeccable upper class origins Orwell singularly failed to understand the function of sport, which is to escape the workaday worries of the nine to five grind and vent your frustrations for ninety minutes before going back to reality. It took the son of a miner, Bill Shankly, in one of the most misunderstood footballing quotes to perfectly capture the real meaning of the sporting spirit: "Someone said to me 'To you football is a matter of life or death!' and I said 'Listen, it's more important than that'." With his tongue firmly in his cheek Shanks conveys the power of the game to blank out all that really matters in life for the duration of the match you are watching so that when the final whistle goes your emotions are spent ready for you to leave planet football for planet earth.

Yet I feel this is only true for those of us who actually attend matches and therefore create real relationships with everyone else involved. This cannot be the same for those who confine themselves to the sphere of TV, radio and the internet. Here relations become detached giving rise to the demons that Orwell warned against. Many view non league as "real" football. In my mind all football watched live at the ground is real and to some extent I wish a replacement could be found for the non league tag. Certainly the best way to keep it real is close your mind to the rubbish spouted by the media to maintain perpetually overhyped headlines and instead stick to the genuine sporting spirit, that of bearing witness to the game in the flesh and enjoying the heady emotions created by those around you.

Not there yet

2011-04-25T11:15:00.001+01:00

A glorious day was surely set fair to see Maidenhead complete their escape from relegation. It looked that way when at the start of the second half Jefferson Louis gave United the lead from a penalty which also saw Dorchester reduced to ten men. But the goal also heralded the arrival onto the field of play of Kyle Critchell. Rumour had it that the Dorset club had opted to save money by dispensing with the team coach only for Critchell's car to break down with his subsequent late arrival at York Road leading him to be relegated on the bench. His exuberant presence on joining the game more than made up for the loss of his teammate, not least with a thumping header to equalise. Other results, especially Lewes' late winner at Havant means what happens on Monday afternoon will dictate the level of tension next Saturday.

There and back again at the Lane

2011-04-23T12:37:00.000+01:00

Taking the long miserable walk up from Seven Sisters Underground station along Tottenham High Road to White Hart Lane, a walk incidentally not brightened up the Easter sun, I pondered the status of the North London derby. Certainly in the English top three, probably bigger than City v United, on a par with Everton v Liverpool? Tonight though was about more than North London pride with three points essential for both sides. Add in the rivalry though and you get an exhilarating no holds barred contest which must have been thrilling to watch on TV. Stuck in the upper tier of the Park Lane though it was more of a harrowing emotional rollercoaster as Arsenal lived up to the music hall joke of being worse than a pet dog which can at least hold a lead.

So there was pandemonium when Theo Walcott gave the Gunners the lead, followed by an unbelievable crescendo of noise from the majority of those in the ground when Rafael Van Der Vaart equalised straightaway. Samir Nasri and Robin Van Persie's goals at least meant there wouldn't be a repeat of the proceedings in the corresponding match at Arsenal last autumn, but Tom Huddlestone's goal just ahead of half time gave notice that the game wasn't over.

Tottenham's resilience bore fruit when they equalised again from Van Der Vaart's penalty, and they seemed to most likely to win at this point as Arsenal seemed to be running on empty, lacking the mental capacity if nothing else to create a fourth goal. Like two prizefighters who had been slugging punches at each other all evening, fatigue took away the goal scoring edge leaving the game a draw. In the short term a point was no good for either team, but surely the night will live long in the memory as the genuine El Classico on show on Wednesday. A point some of the Tottenham fans seemed to want to put to us as they waited impatiently on the corner of Park Lane as the Arsenal fans streamed out.

Always different, always the same

2011-04-23T12:04:00.000+01:00

Staines - horrible name, lovely place. Taking a leisurely evening stroll along the Thames en route to Wheatsheaf Park I contemplated the thought that I was at last going to a Maidenhead United game in positive expectation. Winning breeds confidence in everybody, whether they be players, coaching staff, directors or supporters and it was wonderful to arrive at a game where every Magpie had a smile on their face. The reward for the optimism was to be a late winner courtesy of a Ashley Smith never mind the quality check the scoreline finish two minutes from time, delivering the three points which looked certain in the first half once Alex Wall had given United the lead with a bullet header but apparently were lost when Staines took charge after the break, equalising through Warren Harris and seeming most like to score again before Maidenhead ended the game the stronger.

All in all a good day's work which began when I travelled to Ealing library on behalf of Mark Smith who is putting the finishing touches to his book which will cover 140 years of the York Road club's history. I was searching for details of Maidenhead's encounters with Hanwell in the first decade of the twentieth century. Unfortunately there was little to add to the information Mark already had. Maidenhead won all the games under review but quite the opposite was true of my afternoon assignment at Hounslow library.

Here in the Middlesex Chronicle I found news of a Hounslow team that regularly beat Maidenhead but when for example Maidenhead turned up with only eight players and missed a penalty as they did in 1905 its hardly surprising!

What's striking about the research are the parallels with today, for example comments about the spirit the in which the game was played and the quality of the play. Above all though its good to have a reminder of how little has changed as is shown by the news that a game at York Road saw the home team lose the toss to face a glaring sun and having to play up a slope.

At Staines it depends on where you look, wandering up from the river I imagine I'm taking in a scene similar to that seen by many over the decades until I arrive at the ground and find their impressive but incongruous health club come main stand plonked next to a ground hemmed in by houses.

Then the game itself saw the usual mixture of goals, misses, fouls and questionable refereeing decisions all producing the usual reactions from the excitable crowd. That's football always the same script, rarely the same outcome.

Two Wise Men

2011-04-22T22:02:00.001+01:00

"There has to be more reality in life... Football is a very small part of the universe... Football is in great danger of people needing something to get them out of their humdrum lives and the worries they've got, and so they expect their team to deliver. Look at Bolton, who got beat fair and square at the weekend, and some of their fans left Wembley so early it was unreal. Yes, the M1 was blocked but they were leaving in the first half. What is that all about? FA Cup semi-final, they might not get there ever again, and because their team didn't give them what they wanted some of them left. Some did it here at the weekend. It's nonsense. We are all trying our best. I've never met a manager or a player who deliberately goes out to lose or doesn't try his best. They might be on a lot of money, a ridiculously obscene amount of money, but they are still trying. It's a funny old world and I just wish everyone health and happiness, but I am not going to lose mine over a game."

"Think quickly, look for spaces. That's what I do: look for spaces. All day. I'm always looking. All day, all day. [Xavi starts gesturing as if he is looking around, swinging his head]. Here? No. There? No. People who haven't played don't always realise how hard that is. Space, space, space. It's like being on the PlayStation. I think shit, the defender's here, play it there. I see the space and pass. That's what I do."

Looking for Eric

2011-04-20T16:09:00.001+01:00

Ken Loach is a director with form where football is concerned as anyone who has watched the painfully hilarious match from Kes will testify. Include his time on the board at Bath City and its clear he's someone who knows the game.

His films typically shine a searing spotlight on human injustice laced with a healthy dose of humour but in Looking for Eric he steps into the realm of the surreal to brilliant effect.

Set in Manchester in the first decade of the twenty first century, Looking for Eric tells the story of Eric Bishop (played by Steve Evets), a Manchester United fan with a complicated personal life. Bishop is a postman, struggling to cope with looking after two teenage step sons on his own. He is also looking after his baby granddaughter which brings him into contact with his first wife who he deserted whilst pregnant after their wedding.

Realising the mess he has made of his life, and yearning after his first love he falls into a heap of self pity only to be confronted in a dream by his hero Eric Cantona (playing himself). Cantona urges Bishop to take inspiration from his expolits on the football field and take control of his life. Following his advice Bishop starts to do just that, with Cantona now a permanent presence in his self conscious. He's thrown off course though when one of his sons gets involved with a local gangster, a problem he is unable to solve alone and offering him the prospect of leaving him in a worse situation than ever. However with the help of his fellow United fans Bishop is able to find a way to save his son with a plan he calls "Operation Cantona" in a thrilling, heartwarming climax to a wonderful film.

This film is more than a good story though as it deals with universal themes which are well known if not openly acknowledged by football supporters. There is the solidarity of joint purpose, forged by shared experience which leads to the happy ending. The banter of mates well honed after years of practice to border on the mean without crossing the line into nastiness provides humour throughout. Finally the need for heroes to inspire and challenge everyone not to settle for second best and instead to live out their dreams rather than sit and wonder what might have been is an example for all to follow.

Add in footage to remind you of the fantastic impact Cantona himself had on the English game in the 90s and you have a great couple of hours entertainment for the seasoned football fan with even a hint of topicality with a pub debate about the FC United of Manchester project. In short whatever your prejudice towards any of Loach's other films, drop it and take a fresh look with Eric.

The Only Way Is Essex

2011-04-18T21:07:00.000+01:00

It's no big secret that Essex is scarcely my favourite football county, however this is primarily down to envy as some of the best non league teams have come from the region in the last 20 years. From memory at one time the Magpies had as many as nine league trips to Essex with all guaranteed to be a tough encounter with odds against black and white success. Visits to Thurrock, or Purfleet as they used to be known, lived up to this stereotype, and this was very much the case on Saturday with the twist that the game turned into a smash and grab raid by the Magpies to leave their hosts in despair. Maidenhead goals at either end of the game with Thurrock dominating much of the rest of proceedings outlined the perfect outcome for the away fans.

This felt like a just reward after an arduous journey across London which took longer than the trip to Lewes two weeks previously. Still there was plenty to amuse en route starting with the Manchester City fans who filled the District line train pointing in bewildered fashion at the tube map, thus giving the lie to their lack of recent visits to Wembley. Light blue changed to claret and blue as I arrived in West Ham country at the Stratford building site readying itself for next year's Olympics. A quick train trip through the industrial sprawl of East London ended at Rainham where I got on a packed bus to the ground. Inevitably these were shoppers on the way to Lakeside and I was the only passenger to alight at the Hotel for this key relegation clash.

On the way I was pleasantly surprised by the scenery of rural cottages with views of Kent. After tracking the A13 for a while we left Billy Bragg's gateway to the sea for a detour around the village of Aveley passing the entrance to Mill Field, home of the local football club which can just about be seen from Thurrock's ground. As we did so I wondered what might have been for the Millers who last season reached the Isthmian league play offs under Rod Stringer before he departed with some of the squad for Braintree taking them to the cusp of the Alliance Premier whilst Aveley fight against relegation. I also mused whether the only fanzine that paid the reader to take it was still going. Called "There's only one Reggie Harris" the Aveley zine came with a penny attached to every copy. The team behind it mined a rich seam of surrealism, one of their number once watching a game at York Road dressed as the Pink Panther in protest at the recent sacking of the manager.

Anyway back to the present day and the glorious sunshine seemed to reflect the disposition of the travelling Magpies buoyed by Tuesday night's home win. Pre match talk was full of the possibility that a win could lift United up to fifth bottom and all was going to plan when Anthony Thomas converted a fourth minute penalty.

Thurrock though soon took command with Maidenhead having to dig deep to hang onto their coat tails at 1-1. Their spirit was personified by chairman Tommy South who was at the game in a wheelchair after sustaining serious injuries in an accident whilst carrying out ground maintenance. However once midfield talisman Matt Bodkin departed with cramp their challenge faded, leaving Maidenhead to deliver a killer punchline with a goal from Max Worsfold worthy of a promotion rather than a relegation battle. Still with eight minutes of stoppage time there was plenty of cup style tension but as with the Eastleigh win this was just about dealt with to redeem the pre match hopes of the Maidenhead fans.

Ten points out of the last twelve suggest the force is now very much with United to escape but Thurrock are definitely the best of the other strugglers and I've a feeling that despite the body language on display at the final whistle the season is not over yet for either.

Calypso Collapso

2011-04-15T18:45:00.000+01:00

Returned as planned for the morning session to see the mouthwatering prospect of Finn and Collymore v. Cook and Bopara. This was to be a day for the bowlers though with sixteen wickets falling before my departure shortly before tea. With all ten of the Essex first innings wickets either bowled, lbw or caught behind, the grey overcast clouds seemed to be doing their work producing more swing than a 70s suburban dinner party. Focusing on Cook it was insightful to see the influence of his mentor Gooch on his fidgety awkward wait for the delivery before issuing a stroke. Not that there were many of those though in a brief innings of 19 in which he was also dropped at slip. His dismissal was the first of two in two balls for Collymore who surprising bowled a bouncer for the hat trick ball to Westley (maybe known as a hooker?). Westley went onto top score with 36 as his team mates fell around him with Murtagh and Berg wrapped up the tail just after lunch sending the scoreboard into meltdown. This remarkably gave Middlesex the opportunity to follow on something that must have seemed a remote prospect when just 24 hours earlier they were 115-5.

By this time I had returned to my favoured spectating position of the Warner upper. I had spent the morning on the pavilion middle balcony but couldn't take any more of the tortuous wooden seats. Can't they find some kind of leather/rubber substitute which looks aesthetically pleasing?

Meanwhile Billy Godleman completed a nightmare return to his alma mater by again falling for a low score as Gooch looked on from the away balcony with an even more hangdog expression than usual if that's possible. Cook and Mickleburgh looked to be on the road to recovery, particularly when Cook stroked two fluid cover drives in one over to take the score past 50. However once the Ashes hero had fallen to a brilliant caught and bowled effort from Finn it was calypso collapso time again as the score swiftly fell to 90-6 offering Middlesex the opportunity to wrap up the win in two days.

By the time I had got home Essex had avoided this possibility and that of an embarrassing innings defeat but with Middlesex needing just 53 for victory I'm left to mull over whether its worth popping into see the inevitable denouement before going onto the Magpies relegation play off at Thurrock.

Good Immigration?

2011-04-14T21:37:00.005+01:00

As David Cameron delivered his immigration speech, presumably direct from the set of Midsomer Murders, the Middle Saxons were taking on the East Saxons in the home team's opening County Championship match of the season at Lords. I wondered what his views are on the Saxon invasion are, good immigration or bad?

Despite the chilly air I steeled myself to go along to the afternoon session on Day One armed with a large flask of tea and a somewhat smaller one of rum. Arriving at the lunchtime score of 111-2 I settled down in the Warner stand upper tier to see David Masters and Reece Topley finish off the Middlesex top five.

Eventually discovered Topley is the scion of Don, former Essex player who had his fifteen minutes of fame at Lords when used as a substitute by England in 1984 in the Blackwash series against the West Indies. Seem to remember he made a catch which was then nullified by a no ball call but my new Playfair annual had no details of Topley senior or junior.

Finding the warming results of tea laced with rum to be beneficial I then sat back to watch Berg and Simpson repair the damage with a stand of 66 before in typical fashion both fell just ahead of the tea interval, when I left too, hopefully to return tomorrow morning to salute Ashes hero Alistair Cook as he walks to the crease to continue Essex's innings which overnight stood at a 0-0 in response to Middlesex's 277 all out.

Wombling free

2011-04-14T21:14:00.004+01:00

The joy of the previous night led me to seek out some more football on Wednesday with the formality of Real Madrid's victory over Tottenham Hotspur not appealing as I had already seen Joe Jordan on the losing side watching his son Tom's Eastleigh team crash to defeat at York Road.

I elected to travel to the wonderfully named Wibbandune, home of Colliers Wood United, which I am informed is the nearest non league club to my Hammersmith home. I find this hard to believe as its not the easiest place to get to but I guess as the crow flies this might be correct.

Despite their lowly Combined Counties status the Wood have their own bus stop for their ground on the edge of Wimbledon Common. Bordered by the busy A3 which drones away throughout the evening the green surroundings make up for any of the ground's shortcomings. A dusty pitch is bordered by a brick clubhouse which contains the home dressing room (the away team make do with a Portakabin) and a small seated veranda flanked by the dug outs. There is a small all seater stand opposite and a shelter on the club house side containing a park bench (wonder if this counts towards the ground grading?).

I wandered into the ground straight into the clubhouse where a small crowd awaited teams.  An enquiry for a programme saw the gateman arrive so I could pay my £5 admission as well as receive the £1 issue produced specially for the game despite it being a replay of a previously abandoned game.

For me clubs like this are proper non league which probably now ends at the top of the Alliance North/South. Certainly if anyone wants to really experience non league football they could do worse than visit Wibbandune.

The game pitched mid table United against bottom club Bookham desperately fighting relegation. An entertaining game ensued offering value for money at £1 a goal.  Four of these went to the home team but after they had taken an early lead through  Emmanuel Quarshie, Bookham fought back well having two efforts cleared off the line.

Despite some impressive switch play from Wood particularly from left to right where Mark Stein lookalike Nathan Mottley was the recipient, they doubled their lead with a direct ball down the middle which was finished again by Quarshie. Still as their Uncle Albert of a manager screamed "Don't even think you deserve it" although they should have punished Bookham's defensive frailties again before half time.

The interval saw me return to the clubhouse for a mug of tea, which with its china vessel reminded me of Maidenhead's trips to Ruislip Manor in the mid 90s.

After the break Wood seemed to put the result beyond doubt with a well worked free kick which saw energetic Dan Hammond's strike too powerful for the keeper, Quarshie poaching his third with the loose ball. Three Bookham substitutions gave them hope when one of them, Daniel Carnota scored the goal of the game and further pressure almost brought them a second from successive corners to set up what would have been a thrilling finish.

With one minute to go though Mario Embalo assuaged Uncle Albert's vociferous fears with another goal set up on the right by Mottley to make it a successful night for the team in black and blue stripes unlike the more famous ones worn in Milan.

A Different Kind of Tension

2011-04-14T20:39:00.001+01:00

A relegation struggle is a very different animal from a promotion chase and thus provides a subtly different range of emotions. A promotion chase is built on good form throughout the season, thus the end of season games are entered into with an expectation of success making failure hard to bear. Conversely teams facing relegation have generally performed poorly so even when opportunities for points present themselves the fatalist feeling persists that it can't last.

These emotions were present in full on Tuesday night as promotion chasing Eastleigh visited relegation threatened Maidenhead. In pleasing contrast to the bore draw on Saturday Maidenhead always looked like they had a goal in them due to the width created by a change of formation which saw several dangerous crosses launched into the box. This flew in the face of Eastleigh's York Road record which has seen them thump the Magpies year in year out with their powerful style of play. However tonight they could not break the Maidenhead rearguard marshalled by the experienced Jon Scarborough, with even their trusty set pieces letting them down.

When Maidenhead took the lead just after half time as Will Hendry headed in Anthony Thomas' cross, the immediate reaction was that this can't last with memories of the three minute lead at Hampton a fortnight ago still fresh in the mind. Yet as the half drew on the panic was palpable in the Eastleigh ranks as substitutes were thrown on and the ball launched forward with ever increasing haste. The pressure of having to beat a team which had not won at home since August saw the Spitfires crack as they could not find a way through what at times was an eight man defence with the unusual task of defending a lead. Six minutes of stoppage time came and went with Maidenhead having the best chance to double their lead. Then the final whistle came. Relief to be sure but of a kind of delirious I can't quite believe it release which left Magpies grinning at the prospect of a great escape. Meanwhile the Eastleigh fans muttered darkly about players not being fit to wear the shirt and of mysterious dressing room events.

No fun in the sun

2011-04-11T19:58:00.000+01:00

On a beautifully sunny Spring afternoon twenty two gladiators took to the field. Perhaps the ball should have been mounted on a plinth in World Cup 2010 style so it could have been welcomed with a for those about to die we salute you introduction. As with the corresponding fixture downstream in Middlesex ten days earlier the match quickly turned into an attempt to restart the British space by the unconventional method of dispatching the ball skyward at every opportunity. With both teams in such a long desperate spell of form you could see the logic in getting rid of the ball from defence with alacrity and patron saint of the long ball Charles Hughes must have been beaming at the number of goal scoring opportunities created in the first ten minutes. Once these had been spurned or denied though there was precious little to enjoy and with so much to lose, particularly for the Magpies it was time for teeth to be gritted at the prospect of enduring a goalless draw which at least brought to an end a run of six consecutive league defeats.

New Year's Eve

2011-04-07T22:06:00.002+01:00

Oh To Be In England In The Summertime

A silver lining to the cloud of the defeat at Lewes last weekend was the thought that within seven days time the English cricket season would have started. Disregarding the football equivalent of the Charity Shield (MCC v Champion County) as its now played in Dubai (how soon before EPL follows suit?) the County Championship season starts tomorrow, a fact timely marked by the arrival of the 64th edition of the Playfair Cricket Annual through my letterbox today. This will be well thumbed before it joins its 63 predecessors on my bookshelf. So its off to Lords next week to watch Middlesex's first match (membership/season ticket still as cheap as one for York Road) whilst also dusting off my kit ready for the start of my 25th season playing for Pinkneys Green, where for the first time ever we have a shirt sponsor.

Magpies 'Stoked

2011-04-07T21:49:00.000+01:00

Strange football county Hampshire. Never had anything resembling a soft spot for any of their clubs. Didn't buy into the whole small club in a big league phenomenon that was Southampton in the 80s and although Fratton Park initially appeals that bloke with the bell spoils it. Aldershot were fine as a non league club but ruined it for me by getting promoted. Would happily never visit Farnborough, Eastleigh, Havant and Bashley again. On the other hand Brockenhurst was a great day out but one hardly likely to be repeated due to their lowly status.

As for Basingstoke they would comfortably share the company of Eastleigh and Havant in my affections. No real reason just not my cup of tea despite the Magpies great form at the Camrose this century. Probably down to the town sharing the county's penchant for dual carriageways and out of the way grounds contributing to an atmosphere of anti pedestrian hostility.

This continued on Monday night despite the fact that midway through the first half the highlight of my evening looked likely to be two pints of London Pride and a hotdog after Greg Draper had rammed home Basingstoke's early superiority by scoring after pouncing on a sloppy back pass. Then something strange happened, Maidenhead equalised from the penalty spot through Anthony Thomas, and despite Basingstoke swiftly regaining the lead thanks to a super strike from Sam Delano Yorke, the Magpies seemed to really believe they could win the game. Perhaps the Lewes defeat had created an air of shit or bust, or maybe they realised Basingstoke weren't that good but United's tenacity was at last sprinkled with a touch of class as shown by Max Worsfold's delightful stoppage time equaliser ahead of the interval.

Within fifteen minutes of the restart goals from Craig Faulconbridge and Leon Soloman led to a feeling that 85 days of hurt could be over, a first league win in 2011 was in sight but hang on there was still half an hour to go.

That win on the horizon started to look a bit fuzzy when some Pratt (David) pulled one back and when the referee pointed to the penalty spot with seven minutes left that well worn feeling of blown it again started to descend. Fortunately Steve Williams completed the team performance with a great save and the Magpies went onto see out the victory. Unfortunately 24 hours later results negated any benefit the win brought to the relegation battle but still gave watching Hampton manager Alan Devonshire food for thought!

Is This The Way to Zamaretto?

2011-04-03T22:09:00.002+01:00

Desperate match yesterday not surprisingly due to it being contested by two teams desperate for points to stay up. My day seemed to be reflected by the changing weather. Beautiful Spring sunshine on the train down to the coast, a slight detour via Brighton due to engineering works having the benefit of going through Falmer and seeing Albion's impressive new ground. Reports say that season ticket sales for next season are well into five figures which must have non league clubs across Sussex worried about losing their floating support to the Seagulls who have timed their title season well.

Not that Lewes will be too worried as their location is attractive enough to lure supporters from beyond the county line. Despite their ongoing struggle to stay up the Rooks have undergone a renaissance off it since becoming a community owned club last summer. The list of patrons in the impressive programme is peppered with names from the media and arts which with its egalitarian ethos resembles the way football clubs in the former Eastern bloc were set up in the name of certain professions or industries. Perhaps they should twin with Polonia Warsaw, the Polish capital's club originally set up by white collar intellectuals, and who have lived long in the shadow of larger neighbour Legia. Anyway the changes had not stopped the Harveys flowing in the bar so as far as I was concerned it was business as usual.

The game itself was instantly forgettable but will be remembered by all present for the significance of the result. For the record Lewes' winner came in stoppage time from the penalty spot and that was about it in terms of goalscoring opportunities as the sun went in and the chilly wind got stronger. The two clubs have the two worst scoring records in the division which signals why both are struggling. On the evidence of this afternoon little will change this season. Lewes though will live to fight another day, whilst the Magpies are looking for the sort of revival led by Dennis Greene six years ago to have any hope of going into the final game with the chance to stay up. Otherwise its back to weekends visiting nice places and watching poor football in the Zamaretto League. Like the Harveys the journey home left a bitter taste.

That's the point

2011-04-02T10:48:00.000+01:00

A point at last at Hampton on Tuesday night to stop the run of defeats, whether this will be a pitstop on the race to the bottom or a veritable turning point will be made clear by the time Hampton make the return trip to York Road on April 9th.

I always enjoy the trip to Hampton. Although London based I consider them a village team. This is not a derogatory label merely a nod to their pleasant riverside hamlet location which comes as a relief after travelling through miles of middle class suburban homes in Hounslow and Hanworth. The village feel continues with the friendly welcome by faces which are generally familiar due to the Magpies longstanding rivalry with the Beavers. Not sure what message the barmaid was trying to pass on though with the obscene stencil she made in the top of my pint of Guinness. Certainly wasn't a shamrock.

The ground itself is an architecturally curious collection of structures which reflect the steady development of the Beveree. The absence of a thematic look to the stadium is no bad thing and is a pleasing contrast to the smooth antiseptic lines which are increasingly common at grounds at this level such as Ten Acres or Ship Lane. A broken printer and PA system are hardly a disaster and a reminder that this is a match between two clubs run by amateurs, again no bad thing.

The game itself was not one for the purist, perhaps a bad advert for non league football, with the key influence being shared between Wimbledon FC and Wimbledon tennis as the ball pinged back and forth through the air. Then again the dry bobbly surface meant any attempt to avoid playing on it was definitely excusable.

A tactical switch by Johnson Hippolyte to 4-3-3 proved very effective in increasing the number of chances for the Magpies and they deservedly took the lead through Jefferson Louis. Hampton's swift equaliser reflected their committed performance and the influence of the impressive David Tarpey on the right side of midfield. It was inevitably scored by ex Magpie Lawrence Yaku. Both sides had very good chances to win the game so a draw was the fairest result, the 1-1 scoreline neatly trailing my journey back into London on the 111 bus. With St. Albans' points deduction being confirmed its now up to United to try and get some momentum from this result by turning this into a full blown recovery in the six pointer at Lewes this afternoon.

Movin' On Up

2011-03-27T21:24:00.001+01:00

Watching Primal Scream into the small hours at Brixton Academy, surely the opening track of their Screamdelica performance was an omen? Sadly only for Braintree. A truly miserable day reflected by dull chilly weather. A boring train journey up the branch line to deepest Essex, a boring walk to the ground through a light industrial area. Day brightened up with a couple of pints of Greene King IPA before we troop outside to slowly freeze watching the inevitable defeat. Maidenhead looked to be making a good fist of it before a now fully fit Cliff Akurang proves the law of the ex by giving Braintree the lead just before half time. The second half was one way traffic with goals from Nathan Pinney and Kenny Davis sealing the win before new signing Ashley Thomas scored a consolation from the penalty spot.

So Braintree, after two games without a win, get their title bid back on track. Not that you would know it as the atmosphere at Cressing Road seemed much the same as when we first played at their well appointed ground back in Isthmian League Division One. Maybe it was the attraction of England on the TV, maybe it was the cold, maybe it was the £12 admission fee, but this hardly felt like the club on the brink of an historic achievement. And what's with all the orange? Is it a nod to near neighbours the Netherlands?

Stand and Deliver

2011-03-27T17:46:00.000+01:00

Non league football's dandy highwayman Steve King brought his Farnborough team to town on Tuesday night and duly made off with the goods with little fuss in a three goal win. With both teams relatively open in defence boro' were always going to be favourites against a Maidenhead team that has lost the ability to score goals. Thus they were two up by the half hour mark albeit in unusual fashion as firstly Kezie Ibe was in the right place at the right time for a cross to hit him and go in whilst Jack King scored from a free kick courtesy of a misplaced Maidenhead wall. In between United's luck again deserted them as a wicked deflection from an Ashley Nicholls shot in the style of Paul Parker at Italia 90 saw goalkeeper Michael Jordan twist to slam dunk the ball over the bar. With Farnborough comfortably resisting the best efforts of Jefferson Louis and Craig Faulconbridge to grab the Magpies a toehold in the game the onset of time made a third goal inevitable with double forenamed sub Michael Malcolm obliging in the last minute.

Groundhog Day

2011-03-20T12:28:00.001Z

Another Saturday. Another personal best at the Richmond Park Run. Another long wait for the tube to Ealing Broadway. Another narrow home defeat for Maidenhead at York Road. This time visitors Chelmsford City really should have won by a more comfortable margin but the admirable persistence of the Magpies almost paid off when an late goal from Jon-Jo Bates inspired a hell for leather charge for an equaliser. Predictably Ricky Modeste set up the first goal for Wayne Gray whilst Rob Edmans snuffed out the early promise of a second half comeback. Maidenhead's admirable spirit was typified by young goalkeeper Jordan Clement who after a nasty clash of heads with Marcus Rose carried on without a thought for his bandaged head throwing himself into the thick of the action, always quick to get the ball forward and I sense was even keen to join the attack at the end. With Rose also in the wars after colliding with the woodwork in the second half the season's second best crowd of 509 had eleven extra minutes of football to enjoy. This must have pleased the visitors who seem to really enjoy coming to York Road and not just for the result. I guess the ground is a nice contrast to Melbourne Park.

The Birthday Party

2011-03-19T12:18:00.003Z

Great night at York Road on Tuesday night. Just the sort of evening you need to add light to the shade of the weekly grind. An ideal occasion to answer the question: "What's the point of Maidenhead United?". Over 300 people turned up in response including players and officials from the 1940s onwards.

From my time at the club it was good to see the likes of Steve Brown, Tim Cook, Mickey Creighton, Vernon Pratt and Dave Harrison who all played key roles in the squad which broke a 27 year drought with the Full Members (not Mickey Mouse if you win it) Cup in 1997 followed by promotion three years later.

1997 Full Members Cup Winners

The game itself was very entertaining thanks to the energetic opponents Oxford University who did not lack class with Tom Castro and Ezra Rubenstein catching the eye for the Blues. Appropriately after Castro's opener, Maidenhead overturned the lead by half time thanks to Jon Jo Bates and Jerome Federico with Maidonian Lee Barney sealing victory ten minutes from the end.

Off the pitch a touch of the limelight was given by the roaming camera crew from Sky Sports who must have accumulated in the region of four hours of footage. Let's hope some of it will see the light of day, particularly the interview with diminutive Irishman Noel Shiels (right) who scored twice in the final for Stan Payne's team which won the 1970 County Cup.

The wonderful bumbling amateurish side of non league football was encapsulated by the typo on the front cover which billed the match as a rather arbitrary 104th anniversary celebration. Ironically the printer turned up for the first time to watch the game for the first time this season so there was plenty of opportunity for him to face the music.

The evening concluded in Stripes with suitably august speeches from Chairman Peter Griffin and Oxford University captain Elliot Thomas with eccentric patron Prince Frederick von something or other trying to steal the show. Wonder if he will be around for the 150th anniversary? I certainly will.

Dover and out

2011-03-13T12:32:00.001Z

Had a good feeling about yesterday's game. Went for a three mile run in the morning in Richmond and the sunny weather indicated the day was only going to get better. However by kick off at York Road the sky had turned grey and despite a high tempo start from United with route one tactics initially unsettling Dover, once the Whites had adjusted there was only ever going to be one winner, particularly after Leon Soloman had limped off further weakening a Maidenhead defence already missing Mark Nisbet through suspension. That the final score was limited to Barry Cogan's first half strike is testament to the hard work of the Maidenhead players and the talent of Steve Williams in goal but a first Magpie Blue Square Bet South win of 2011 was not on the cards.

The Dover fans gave great support to their team throughout with an impressive repertoire but why does their songbook require a drum? Never mind snoods FIFA needs to get to grips with this threat to my mental health at football.
On the plus side for Dover I like their policy of signing players with almost famous names. Luke I'Anson, Lewis Spence and Jack Pallant were all on show yesterday.
My man of the match though was referee Charles Breakspear who kept a tight rein on proceedings and refused to be cowed by running complaints from the Dover players. His father (also Charlie) was at the game which made me feel old as I can remember Breakspear senior officiating at York Road in the 90s and bringing his young son to the game. Hopefully it will be a case of like father like son as the elder Breakspear was a great character as well as an excellent referee. A couple of incidents stick in the mind. He used to also run the line in the Football League and once I saw him at Elm Park a few days after being at York Road. A friend of mine reminded him of a controversial decision he had made in the Maidenhead game at which he turned round to join in the banter. Then there was a final day game at Abingdon Town when a defender stopped a Maidenhead goal by pushing it off the line with his hand. Rather than award a penalty Charlie adopted a Rugby Union approach and simply gave the goal!

York Road's Personal Best - Are you reading Georgie Borg? Your boys took one hell of a beating!

2011-03-13T12:10:00.001Z

Of all the games I’ve seen at York Road I’m happy to say its hard to narrow it down to my favourite one. I’ve seen promotion won, relegation avoided (and many games contributing to both) not to mention countless classic cup ties. At least by not calling my choice the most memorable I can rule out quite a few defeats, particularly the 8-2 thrashing by Chertsey in a game which only went ahead because the Maidenhead United manager at the time was so keen to play! Helping me in my quest there are many that I can rule as being in the category of most forgettable.

Having thought about it I decided to rule out games that involved something of historic note which may have clouded my judgement and finally settled on: Saturday January 6th 2001,

Maidenhead United 3 (2) Aldershot Town 0, Isthmian League Premier Division.

This was United’s first season in the Premier Division after manager Alan Devonshire had the led the club to promotion in 2000. The Magpies had struggled to adjust to life at the higher level but six points over Christmas at home to Slough and away to Hitchin had indicated they were getting to grips with the demands of the new division.

As with this year the weather was harsh over the festive period with the Slough Boxing Day derby (sadly unique in modern times) played on a practically frozen pitch and the Hitchin game only going ahead after the Canaries fans had cleared the surface of snow.

The snow had since melted bringing the inevitable problem of waterlogging. As the usual big crowd was expected to follow the Shots to York Road the call went out for volunteers to help the groundstaff make the surface ready for play. Hence I found myself at some ungodly hour for a Saturday morning rooting around in my Dad’s shed for a fork and then putting it to good use in the winter sunshine on the pitch under the watchful eye of Shots assistant manager Stuart Cash who was eager that the game went ahead to clear a suspension.

A referee popped by mid morning to check up on our handywork and pronounced York Road ready for play leaving everyone to take a well deserved break.

The players spoil my handywork

One of the highlights of watching Maidenhead at this time was the rivalry with Aldershot. This was genuine with the Magpies winning their fair share of encounters, particularly at the Recreation Ground. Add in the rumbunctious Shots manager George Borg and with many other games postponed locally a huge crowd gathered at York Road, (the biggest I have ever seen for a league game) and the scene was set for a great day at the match.

Within three minutes Maidenhead stunned their visitors by taking the lead when Joe Nartey picked up Richie Barnard’s long clearance to score. This really irked the travelling Shots and upset by the impudence of the relegation threatened Magpies tweaking the nose of their title chasing heroes one tried to steal the United flag.

Aldershot poured the pressure onto their hosts but were unable to equalise and some of their fans passion crossed the line of acceptability in the bar at half time and during the second half.

As the game entered its final act Maidenhead were still holding out and then stunned the crowd by applying the coup de grace when firstly Lee Channell finished the good work of Barry Rake and Obi Ulasi. This was followed by quite simply the best Maidenhead United goal I have ever seen at York Road when Adrian Allen picked up the ball in his own half, ran through the Aldershot team before unleashing an unstoppable shot from twenty five yards.

By now Aldershot had had enough and Mark Pye was sent off following a 15 man free for all. At the final whistle the Shots players took out their frustration on the dressing room furniture as their fans dealt with the attentions of the local constabulary. With Borg bemoaning the state of the pitch I was left to savour a famous victory which embodied all that is great about our club. That is everyone working together for victory whatever the scale of opposition.

Magpies: Barnard, Ferdinand, Connor, Rake, Croxford, Brown, Cook, Nartey (76 Allen), Channell, Glynn (65 Hickey), Ulasi. Unused sub: Craker. Goals: Nartey 3, Channell 71, Allen 81. Attendance: 1,213

Diddymen Doddle

2011-03-11T21:48:00.001Z

A comfortable win at home - what a novel experience. With two well worked goals in the first twenty minutes from Jermaine Hinds and Mark Nisbet, and very few worrying moments to threaten to burst this comfortable bubble it was great to watch home football as it should be. A black and white cat then crossed my path to indicate this would be our night. The difference in status between the two sides was clear to see in this initial opening period but once Didcot had got up to the pace an evenly contested game ensued leaving the remainder of the game without further addition to the score and Maidenhead through to defend the County Cup in May.

Heart of Dartness

2011-03-05T21:42:00.001Z

The crawling train journey from central London to Dartford is pretty nondescript once you pass the architectural landmarks of the Shard and the New Den so although the metaphor of Colonel Kurtz's trek up the Congo is inappropriate, yet another defeat left the words of Marlon Brando swirling round my head as the horror of relegation looms ever larger for the Magpies.

Today it was the crossbar's turn to deny Maidenhead a goal not once but twice before the inevitable sucker punches arrived in the final quarter of the game from Charlie Sheringham and Elliot Bradbrook (two). The second goal which finally killed off any hope of an equaliser two minutes from time was a classic counter attack following an enterprising Maidenhead move sparked by a trailblazing run from Jerome Federico.

A striker, a striker a kingdom for a striker must be the heartfelt plea of any Magpie fan as all the good defending and work in the midfield will forever come to naught unless someone is found who can consistently add the finishing touch to the periods of the game when the Magpies are on top.

On a personal note Princes Park was the 200th I have watched football at. The first of course being York Road back in 1980. This was a great venue to notch up the double century. Walking to the ground you do not notice it until you walk up the drive as its hidden by the warehouse like David Lloyd health club which borders the dual carriageway. The town is clearly hiding its light under a bushel as the ground is a real gem for a complete new build with its wrap around terrace covered in all parts by a high roof. This makes for excellent sight lines with the corners filled in to provide disabled viewing access which is a nice touch. The absence of a main stand is of no consequence with the closed in feeling adding to the atmosphere. The mind boggles as to what it must have been like when it was filled for the Darts FA Cup tie against Port Vale in the autumn. There is innovative use of wood in the building materials with a wooden statue in one part of the ground which I'm sure must be unique. The social facilities are as good as would be expected for a new complex although there is a chance of a Spinal Tap "where's the stage" moment as you wander the cavernous corridors. All in all a great monument to what can be achieved when the local authority works together with a grand old football club. Windsor & Maidenhead LA please take note

Havant a clue...

2011-03-05T21:08:00.001Z

...when I'm going to see Maidenhead win a point or three. Tuesday night's performance at York Road against Havant & Waterlooville was full of praiseworthy intent and hard work. Once again the team played well enough to earn at least point only to fall to defeat to another late goal.

Aldershot youth team goalkeeper Jordan Clement made his debut. Jordan joins a distinguished line of Maidenhead United players and officials who have shared a cricket pitch with me. In his case playing for Sandhurst against Pinkneys Green. Other cricketing Magpies include Steve Palfrey, Jim Parsons, Ray Margrave, Ken Balchin, Steve Croxford, Peter Griffin, Vernon Pratt, Jon Swan and Matt Sealy.

Day Out At The Palace

2011-02-28T20:18:00.000Z

An early postponement at York Road presented the opportunity to catch up with a friend going to Crystal Palace to support Reading. The convenience of a direct train from Shepherd's Bush to Selhurst added to the rare luxury of being able to pay cash at the turnstile (sorry box office adjacent to the turnstile) to watch professional football meant this was too easy an opportunity to pass up. A train full of rugby fans made this an unlikely rush hour and any doubt as to who I would support at Selhurst Park evaporated when a crafty Eagle sneaked in front of me to pinch a seat then proceeded to use the one next to him to unfurl his copy of the Daily Mail and use it as a repository for the salad from his sandwich, presumably having read how it would give him cancer.

Loyalties sorted I arrived at Selhurst and promptly bumped into one of the Twyford Royal Magpies and then as if my arrival at the ground was expected was interviewed by a mysterious organisation called winkball.

Pre match pleasantaries over and done with I finally got to the Arthur Waite stand and was disappointed to find that the away end had been moved to the bottom of the hill next to the family stand, well away from the Holmesdale Ultras. On the other hand this meant I had now completed the set and sat in every section of this part of the ground.

You have to give Crystal Palace credit for creating an atmosphere at games at a pitch well above what you would expect from an average crowd of under 15,000 although I'm not sure what the pre match parading of an Eagle does to create more noise. My desperate hopes that it would ignore its handler and perch on the stand until the game started, then divebomb the players were sadly unfulfilled. Let's hope Palace can renew their rivalry with Brighton next season to present the opportunity of some primeaval bird fight with a seagull. Bird brained antics aside the Palace fans always get behind their team whatever their standing so despite the obvious limitations of Selhurst Park I was surprised to read throughout the programme how keen everyone was to move to the Crystal Palace athletics stadium. Aside from the pedants delight of actually playing in Crystal Palace this could be a case of throwing the baby out with the bathwater and ending up in a sterile stadium.

As to the game, well it lived up to the Championship's reputation for hurly burly goalmouth action in 3-3 draw which fairly reflected the play. Neither side could defend with Reading being first to prove this point by losing possession in the centre circle then allowing Darren Ambrose to storm towards goal unimpeded and pick his spot to score within a minute of the kick off. This was all the incentive Palace needed to tear into the Royals and in an uptempo start the home team should have had the game won with the first twenty minutes. Former Everton starlet James Vaughan was a real thorn in the Royals side severely exposing Shaun "short" Cummings. The lead could have been doubled when a Danns shot was scooped from what looked like behind the line by keeper McCarthy, and Danns soon made up for this by scoring a second.

On the rare occasions Reading got forward Palace looked equally shaky at the back and were given a lifeline when Shane Long was brought down in the penalty area then converted the spot kick. Palace were then awarded a penalty themselves within a minute of the restart but a McCarthy save from Ambrose changed the game and from here on in Reading took charge.

In the second half it look like being a question of when not if Reading would equalise and therefore it was no surprise when a spritely run and cross from Long was smartly finished by Jimmy Kebe to prove my pre match call about his precocious talent.. Palace manager Dougie Freedman reacted by substituting the fading Vaughan with Jermaine Easter, which soon paid off when Easter scored the goal of the game with a volley. However Palace keeper Julian Speroni was now limping heavily and this was finally exposed by the head of Noel Hunt to equalise and seal a point which although well deserved would have pleased neither team.

Cards sharp

2011-02-23T12:53:00.001Z

Well beaten by Woking last night even though the score was only 1-0. They looked a class apart from Maidenhead and I would imagine it would have been clear to a neutral which team which was aspiring to the play offs and which was battling relegation.

Garry Hill seems to have invigorated Woking and with the incentive of last season's play off final disappointment they look a really good bet for promotion.

As for Maidenhead on the positive side the players continue to work hard to remain in contention for points but every defeat must sap the confidence that little bit further. This is nothing like Carl Taylor's relegation season when twice as much money produced heavy defeats week in week out, nevertheless the corner that needs to be turned is still nowhere to be found.

Matters have been made worse by Mark Nisbet's dismissal. With him on the pitch the defence looked capable of holding firm, he will now presumably receive a three match ban starting in a fortnight inconveniently timed to coincide with fellow defender Jamal Fyfield's return to York at the end of his loan.

The fixture list is also taking a bizarre turn, six out of the next seven league fixtures are at home (there are also two other home games during this period), followed by four away games. As with the 1997/98 it could well be that two late seasons games against Hampton could well seal the fate of both clubs although this time relegation rather than promotion is at stake.

An odd postscript (which ironically prevented one) was the referee's decision to reduce the stoppage time to 100 seconds after initially indicating five minutes which seemed reasonable given a half which included five substitutions, a protracted goal celebration and foul/handbags/double sending off incident which itself must have taken two minutes to sort out. Still as one Woking fan pointed out the extra time could have increased the score to 2-0 and made United's goal difference even worse!

I also spent some time yesterday at the Hammersmith and Fulham archive doing some research for Mark Smith's latest edition of Maidenhead United's history. I was specifically looking for details of Maidenhead's games against Shepherd's Bush at the turn of the twentieth century. Maidenhead were regular visitors to West London at this time and at least one of the games was played at Loftus Road, presumably on the same site as the current QPR ground. I was really lucky to find this information as the centre will be permanently closed next week as part of the cultural vandalism being wreaked on the borough by the local council whose shock doctrine philosophy views even David Cameron with suspicion as a dangerous pinko liberal.

Fall of the House of Windsor

2011-02-21T19:32:00.001Z

The Dressing Room after the 2001 win

Finally wound up in the high court on February 2nd, Windsor were naturally one of the Magpies greatest rivals although attempts by the local media to whip up some passion along the lines of "Battle of the Borough" never really took off. There was little animosity between either club, apart from the understandable frustrations when Dennis Greene moved from Stag Meadow to York Road and proceeded to take many Royalist personnel with him.

Stag Meadow itself was a pleasant enough ground, backing onto Windsor Great Park, although the proximity of the tea bar with its oily smells to the clubhouse meant I preferred to drink in the pub opposite. The supporters were full of the usual characters, the sandal wearing "Jesus" giving an added edge to a winter game with the hope that he would stick to his open toed footwear in the snow, whilst there was always a vociferous minority to lend some atmosphere although at one point in the mid 90s the young ultras gave cause for a wry smile as they chanted for reasons I forget "We hate Tories" at the Maidenhead fans whilst standing in front of a sign saying "Support the Royalists".

Older generations of United supporters tended to regard Windsor as little more than a village team as post war the big local derbies were always against Wycombe and Slough. My lifetime coincided with Windsor's best spell though and during the 80s they were very much the senior team in the borough, at one stage being two levels ahead of United, as the Royalists enjoyed a spell in the Isthmian Premier Division whilst the Magpies tumbled down to Division Two South and an embarrassing league derby with Flackwell Heath. Indeed I can recall striker Mickey Creighton, who played for both clubs recounting the time when he was part of the Windsor squad which took Bournemouth to an FA Cup 2nd round replay with a home tie against Manchester United awaiting the victors. Harry Redknapp's Cherries won the rematch 2-0 at Dean Court and of course famously beat the Cup holders by the same score in round three.

Thus it was quite exciting when promotion for Maidenhead and relegation for Windsor brought the clubs together in Isthmian Division One and rare Boxing Day clash at York Road. I can still remember the crisp morning kick off in front of a sparse but passionate crowd. The Magpies ran out comfortable 4-1 winners. My chief memory of the game though is Mark Franks consolation goal, which he celebrated with such vigour with the Royalist fans that he was booked!

The reverse fixture was one of those disappointing Magpie flops which sadly continue to this day. Windsor managed by ex Maidenhead manager John Clements won a dreadful game 1-0 despite having spent two thirds of the game with ten men after one of their defenders opted to punctuate the silence by insulting the linesman in the vilest way possible. These three points were not enough to save Windsor from relegation so the rest of the clubs' meetings up to Windsor's recent demise came in Cup competitions, chiefly the County Cup, and annual friendlies.

The first of these clashes was in 1996 when goals from Paul Dadson and Garry Attrell at Stag Meadow gave United a comfortable victory and set up a semi final tie at home to Aylesbury United, the fall from which I'm still in therapy for, but that's another story. The real talking point from the Windsor game came a few weeks previously when the match was scheduled only for snow to fall ahead of kick off. I sat with other supporters in the Queens Arms (now Noctors) awaiting news of the inevitable postponement with only Roy Bannister's tale of getting his house fitted with new carpets for entertainment. When the game was called off the night was in full swing to the extent that proceedings moved to the Anchor although we were in too much of a stupor to remember the main TV event that evening when Jarvis Cocker waved his arse at Michael Jackson.

Two years later Windsor again provided the quarter final opposition although they seemed to have upped their budget as one Maidenhead fan solemnly told me that Ted Danson and Greg Norman would be lining up for the Royalists at Stag Meadow. With Maidenhead riding high in the league another easy win was in order but Windsor were the better team for most of the game and with seconds of extra time left were leading 2-1, only for Chuk Agudosi to pop up and score a scarcely deserved equaliser. The replay (remember them) went to form with a Garry Attrell hat trick leading United to a 4-1 victory and putting them on track to win the County Cup for the first time in a generation.

Cup holders Maidenhead were to again travel to Stag Meadow twelve months later, this time at the semi final stage. Again underdogs Windsor looked to be on course for an upset until the game turned on a nasty incident when a racial insult was made by a Maidenhead player to one of his opponents. This sparked an inevitable fracas which led to Windsor losing the initiative they had created, United rather shamefully going onto win the tie 3-1 and eventually retain the Cup.

The next semi final clash came two years later, this time at York Road with the Magpies now promoted to the Isthmian Premier Division. As usual Windsor weren't intimidated by the higher tier opposition and at times outclassed the Magpies. This was a breathtaking tie with the game flowing at great speed from end to end. With Windsor losing their nerve in front of goal, Matt Glynn gave the Magpies the lead with a spectacular effort. A Dennis Greene penalty seemed to have given the Royalists an extra thirty minutes to claim the game only for Lee Channell to sneak a winner in injury time.

FA Cup celebrations

Perhaps emboldened by a string of near misses, ahead of the next semi final meeting, at Stag Meadow in 2003, Greene, by now Windsor manager made a number of ill advised predictions in the local press about the final score. With the team talk ready made, Alan Devonshire's made short work of the tie, a Lawrence Yaku hat trick building a 5-0 win with a performance so dominant that reduced Windsor captain Dave Carroll to respond to the taunting Magpies by petulantly slamming a free kick into the wall. Once again Maidenhead went onto win the Cup in what was to be Alan Devonshire's last game as manager, ending his reign with a near perfect record against the men down the A308.

Devonshire's successors were unable to match his County Cup collection but at least kept the Royalists in check. John Dreyer won a tight FA Cup tie 2-1 in October 2004 in a fiery derby which saw eleven bookings. Future Crawley hero Jamie Cook gave United the lead from the spot, but a spectacular second from the winger was chalked off as it was from a drop ball, Cook being cautioned for ungentlemanly conduct. With Windsor then going down to ten men, a Barrie Matthews goal seemed to seal the win but the goal of the game from Peter Holsgrove led to a nailbiting finish.

Ironically following Dennis Greene's move from Stag Meadow to York Road, the clubs didn't meet during his time as United manager. Carl Taylor was in charge when the team renewed County Cup hostilities in the autumn of 2005 and in the worst season of my Magpie watching the game provided a rare bright spot. Windsor contested the game well taking an early lead and pulling the score back to 2-2 just after half time, however the Magpies were just too strong with Stephen Hughes, a Lee Newman brace and the goal of the game from Northampton star Abdul Osman easing United to a 4-2 victory which had a farcical coda when the verbose Taylor was sent from the dugout in the dying minutes.

The following season Johnson Hippolyte had moved into the hot seat and comfortably completed his Royalist rite of passage with a 2-1 win at Stag Meadow with even a weakened team, containing a central midfield pairing with a combined age of 80, being too much for Windsor.

With such a long run of victories, even the most die hard of Windsor fans must have despaired of ever beating the Magpies so its perhaps fitting that the last meeting saw Windsor beat the bogey to win the 2009 County Cup semi-final 1-0. For a change it was Maidenhead who squandered a golden opportunity to win when Bobby Behzadi missed a late penalty, with Windsor seizing the day with a winning goal from Adam Wallace.

So Windsor had the last laugh as the record books will show they hold the honour of local pride until such time as a reformed team can rise far enough up the pyramid to take on the Magpies in competitive mode once more.

Puff and Blowers

2011-02-20T20:19:00.000Z

I always look forward to a trip to Welling's Park View Road ground but my journey to South East London was so problematic I should have envisaged that it would be a far from enjoyable afternoon. With all the tubes closed for engineering, Hammersmith was gridlocked with rail replacement buses and having persuaded the driver to let me off the bus rather than sit in traffic for half an hour I had to wade through the half term crowds visiting the museums at South Kensington before I just managed to get the last train from Victoria able to get me to Welling by the early kick off time caused by the Wings' floodlight problems.

Alighting from Welling station at 2.16 a lack of taxis meant I opted to jog the normal twenty minute walk down the High Street and the hours spent in the gym have obviously paid off as I halved the time in Roy Castle style to take my seat ahead of the teams walking onto the pitch. Thus I had little time to ponder whether I was in London (Zone 4) or Kent (DA postcode).

Park View Road is a great ground due to the proximity of the excellent pitch to the surrounds. Some people might moan about a lack of covered standing but Henry Blofeld for one would be delighted at the chance to watch the game whilst watching a stream of red double decker buses pass by the ground at the Park View Road end. Add in the warm welcome and hospitality from the likes of club President Eric Brackstone and you have the makings of a great afternoon at the match.

The game itself kicked off in more ways than won as both teams tore into each other as if it were a derby and it was no surprise that eight names entered the referee's book, four from each team. I think this secretly delighted most of those seated in the main stand who judging by the smiles on their faces relished the opportunity to bait the Maidenhead bench and match officials throughout the game. With the "Big Society" very much in the news David Cameron could do worse in his search for the definition of his big idea than taking in a Welling home game because patrons get good value for money in the main stand as they not only can watch the game but also get free primal scream therapy, with the atmosphere making it nigh on impossible not to unleash ones frustrations pent up during the working week. I was particularly pleased that one of the leading exponents in hurling vitriol at the men in black (and black and white) was someone who I had blogged about in the reverse fixture for urging the Magpies to "get on with it, its a man's game"!

As to the main action, Maidenhead's game plan essentially worked but two individual errors cancelled out all the hard work that went into Alex Wall's superb volleyed goal. Thus Maidenhead tumbled into the bottom three with all hopes resting on the fact that for most of every game this season one or even three points are within the Magpies' grasp.

Pass Masters

2011-02-20T19:46:00.001Z

So much has been written about the Arsenal win over Barcelona that there seems little left to say about the game result. However as much news ink and band width has been spent in miserly mood, shaking metaphorical heads about away goals and revenge at the Nou Camp the main point about Wednesday night has been missed. It was simply a joyous occasion and a wonderful spectacle to be involved in.

Perhaps it also marked a shift in Arsenal's status as it most certainly felt like a European occasion with little connecting it to English traditions.

Maybe this was due to the fact that I arrived at the game on the Eurostar from Brussels. With little point in crossing London and back to go home I opted to grab a bite at the architectural marvel that is St. Pancras International and with plenty of time in hand decided against the crush of the tube in favour of the 91 bus. This proved to be a prescient move as from the top deck travelling up the Caledonian Road the stadium was framed perfectly by the London skyscape, and as it drew closer the spotlights beamed into the sky to create a stellar ECL logo gave little doubt that Ashburton Grove was the place to be.

The free flags (as seen above) given to everyone in a home seat were no match for the waving of a red and white bar scarf but the huge red and white banners raised behind each goal really added to the carnival atmosphere.

The noise itself didn't seem quite as intense as at the corresponding fixture twelve months previously, a sign perhaps of the more equal nature of the contest compared to Barcelona's 2010 mauling of a badly depleted Arsenal. Of course you will be sick of hearing by now how Jack Wilshire came of age in this game, but what about Laurent Koscielny giving his best performance in an Arsenal shirt, probably helped by the fact he wasn't faced by a physically domineering centre forward.

Being sat above the Barcelona fans compensated for all the goals being up the other end with Arshavin's instant strike winner really taking the breathaway of all at the Clock End.

All that was left to do was to wander through the side streets to the Holloway Road along with 60,000 other Gooners buzzing with excitement at being Kings of Europe for one night at least whilst hoping that the spirit of George Graham's 90s defensive fortress of Dixon, Bould, Adams and Winterburn can be revived in Catalonia in March.

Home horrible home

2011-02-13T20:23:00.000Z

The York Road misery continued yesterday with a home defeat against struggling Lewes meaning this season is fast approaching the depths of 1998-99 and 2007-08 plumbed by those Magpies who do not travel away.

The game was open but neither team had the confidence in their ability to stamp their authority on it. Both teams adopted stereotypical roles, Maidenhead exerting sustained pressure whilst Lewes looked dangerous on the break. In the end it was Lewes who broke the deadlock with twelve minutes remaining, and once ahead there was only one destination for the points. This led to unconfined joy from the Lewes contingent with the result offering relief from their wretched season so far and hope that they may yet dig themselves out of the relegation mire. This contrasted with the despairing Magpies who slipped one place to hover nervously over the trap door with no corner to turn in sight.

Aside from the match of the day it was interesting to hear from Windsor officials about the short term and possible long term destinations of their squad. The presence of Willie Wordsworth left everyone wondering who he was scouting. On the way home I met one of the linesman from the ill fated Farnborough game who had been in the middle at Uxbridge. One interesting point he made about refereeing was how he encouraged players to talk to him close up rather than shouting from ten yards away, a clear demarcation which illustrated how players end up with cautions for dissent.

Goodbye Boil

2011-02-12T22:06:00.000Z

England lost one of its greatest allrounders when Trevor Bailey died last week. Although he was somewhat the antithesis of all action successors Andrew Flintoff and Ian Botham his international record speaks for itself, passing the all rounder's test of having a higher batting average than his bowling average.

One of the last cricketing amateurs he was also a fine non league footballer, playing for Leytonstone and winning the Amateur Cup with Walthamstow Avenue in 1952 (pictured above, Bailey on the far right). The following year he was part of the Avenue team that drew 1-1 with Manchester United at Old Trafford in a Fourth round tie, losing the replay 5-2 at Highbury. With far from corinthian Crawley Town making the same trip north next week, Bailey's passing is reminder of a very different age.

Platini's Spirit Level

2011-02-08T21:53:00.000Z

An elephant appeared in the room when Roman Abramovic reasserted his status of having the biggest yacht in the marina by splashing out £50 million on Fernando Torres. The pachiderm was reminding us all of Michel Platini's much touted fair play rule which will limit a club's spending to 60% of its turnover from the start of the 2013/14 season, on pain of being banned from European competition. With sanctions against clubs based on financial statements from the 2011/12 and 2012/13 reporting periods, this really requires the immediate attention of the bean counters at Europe's top clubs, with Arsene Wenger for one salivating at the thought that his parsimonious attitude to the transfer market will at last bear fruit.

Naturally this has cause much excitement in some quarters as it promises to reverse the trend which has seen the Champions League become the sole province of a select band of clubs based in England, Germany, Spain and Italy. Although it will not see a return to the purity of the original European Champions Cup which effectively took a whole season to qualify for as one country's sole representative, it does bring the potential to bring a greater plurality of clubs to the competition.

As such this captures the zeitgeist of the recent trend to question the level of inequality in the modern world and take a constructive step to redressing the balance. This is best articulated in "The Spirit Level: Why More Equal Societies Almost Always Do Better" by Richard G. Wilkinson and Kate Pickett, one of the most thought provoking books of the last twelve months. The book argues that for a range of outcomes such as crime, health and social mobility, more equal societies are better places to live than ones where wealth is more disparately spread.

Can this work in European football? American gridiron certainly has a good effort with its draft system whereby the weakest team in any particular season gets the first pick of the best college players. This of course works as there is no relegation from the NFL making it easier to plan long term. The European disease which is particularly virulent in England and Spain sees clubs all too eager to mortgage their future on a host of expensive signings in the hope that they will bring success so it will be interesting to see if this changes at all. Perhaps it may just lead to clubs signing younger players before they come too expensive and effectively hoarding talent, particularly with the double whammy of the new rules about home grown talent. This would be one example of moral hazard as clubs set their best legal and financial minds to finding a way round the rules, with rumours already circulating about the best way to boost turnover to allow more spending by for example donors lashing out on ridiculous sponsorship deals to inject cash into the club.

Still with Europe firmly locked into the new austerity caused by the last decade's financial crisis, maybe this is a good time to introduce the new rules. Barcelona's recent comment that £50 million was too much to pay for a world class striker suggests it might.

There does seem to be nothing to stop Platini introducing the fair play initiative as its promise of a wider spread of riches virtually guarantees his re-election in March thanks to the one country one vote democracy of UEFA. Indeed they have already benefited in his first term with teams from Israel, Denmark, Switzerland, Slovakia and Serbia making a rare appearance in the Champions League group stage. In addition just before Christmas Uefa announced a €300,000-a-year increase to all member associations which naturally is more welcome in the poorer nations.

Will the initiative have the desired effect? The halycon days of the competition were during a time when Europe was split in two with the Easten bloc countries able to compete for honours as their regimes ensured all the best footballing resources in the nation were funnelled into one or two clubs. At least those clubs who have maintained a presence at the top of their national table due to the largesse of a benefactor maybe able to follow the likes of Shaktar Donetsk and Zenit St. Petersburg and make it to the top table on a regular basis.

However another Platini initiative to centralise the bidding for TV rights to screen European competitions maybe the trigger to create the oft mooted European Super league. Whatever happens the next decade of European club football promises to be more interesting than the last.

Born of Frustration

2011-02-06T21:20:00.001Z

Up and down the country yesterday it seemed the order of the day was for one team to take a seemingly definitive lead only to be pegged back against the odds by the opposition. One set of Magpies did this to great acclaim against Arsenal whilst the York Road bunch I was watching was again failed to convert a position of dominance into a win.

Indeed this is fast becoming the story of the season, particularly since the turn of the year with Basingstoke, St. Albans, Boreham Wood, Havant and now Bishop's Stortford all ending up with more points than they might have expected during the game.

With both teams lacking in confidence the key moment of the game came when after Maidenhead had taken charge of the game with two good goals, the first a well worked move involving Ashley Nicholls and Alex Wall which was converted by Cliff Akurang, the second a humdinger of a strike from distance by Daniel Brown. But within minutes of going two behind Stortford hit back in the psychologically important period before half time when a combination of the wind and misjudgement saw goalkeeper Steve Williams flap at a cross and allow Ross Prestedge to score with a header.

Thus the game remained in the balance in the second half, the only surprise being when Stortford finally equalised that they did not push harder for a winner particularly as the Magpies had lost midfield dynamo Nicholls to two bookings.

All this points to a deficit of confidence and belief in failing to dispatch lesser opposition. The answer? Continued hard work to keep creating winning opportunities, whilst maintaining composure to avoid anxiety leading to mistakes. When one opportunity is taken the next becomes easier. The return of experienced players from injury will also help.

At least there was better news off the pitch with Bob the plumber putting in a long shift to sort out the new heating system which means the Reserves can host their League Cup tie at York Road on Tuesday night. This was almost moved to Henley Town after opponents Slimbridge refused, unlike Blue Square Bet South clubs Thurrock and Stortford, to accept the temporary shower arrangements apparently citing the Human Rights Act in their defence!
Another positive was that although the crowd was nothing to write home about it was good to see a few familiar faces from Pinkneys Green Cricket Club.

Actively Passive

2011-02-03T09:45:00.001Z

Despite many viewings and a detailed explanation from a Gooner work colleague I am still at a loss to understand why Everton's goal was allowed to stand at the Arsenal on Tuesday night. However in a way this made the evening by cranking up the atmosphere and forcing the game to turn into a right battle between two determined teams with the skill to match. Unfortunately Arsenal's lack of a solid 20 goal a season striker again told against them as countless chances went begging until the introduction of Bendtner and Arshavin, coupled with a change to 4-4-2 and last melted the Toffee defence and instigated a swift comeback to overturn the deficit and claim the points.
Sincerely hope Everton continue to prosper under David Moyes, if only he had the funds to add two or three players to turn them into a consistent top six outfit. Also glad to see that Marouane Fellaini is as cool as mo' fo' live as he is on the small screen.

Clone Club

2011-02-03T09:40:00.000Z

Back to Boreham Wood for the first time in over a decade last Saturday, with the memory of a Barry Rake strike on my last visit against then tenants Enfield still vivid in my mind. On paper it had the makings of a good day out. An easy journey to the edge of zone 6 by train, then a gentle stroll down the high street to the functional ground. Maybe events on the pitch have coloured my view but this felt like a trip to mediocre Britain. The high street was as good a representation of a clone town as you could imagine, with the glimpse of the Eastenders set in a side street hardly lifting the mood with its gloomy aura of faux misery. A biting north wind made the view of the final destination a welcome sight, and on the face of it the club itself had much to offer with a bar handily placed next to the tea bar. The fact that it was deserted save for the odd travelling Magpie started to peel back the veneer of functionality to reveal a desperate empty vessel. Moving into the board room, again this was impressively arranged, with neat modernist furniture set off by some imitation Pollock prints, with the toilets alone bigger than the facilities at York Road and yet I felt like I was about to attend a funeral.

As for the game a video would I guess have seemed quite entertaining with six goals and plenty of near misses, a mini Magpie comeback from 2-0 down before Ian Allinson got to work in the dressing room to inspire his much changed Boreham Wood side to a barnstorming second half which left no doubt where the points were heading. But this was all witnessed by a sparse crowd strung out around the smart stadium, whilst presumably the thousands of inhabitants of the dwellings surrounding it got on with their lives. Sad to see a club which is so evidently well run missing the human ingredient that makes a football club - passionate supporters.

Branch line football

2011-01-28T15:46:00.001Z

I always enjoy a trip to Marlow's ground and not just because I've seen Maidenhead win two cup finals there. Its set up its pretty much ideal for a club of its size and status with sizeable covered terracing behind one goal and along one side and marvellous old stand to sit in. With concrete terracing all around and a homely bar under the stand if ever you had to show an visitor from Mars what non league football is you could do worse than taking them to Oak Tree Road.

The walk from the station also provides plenty of opportunities for refreshment, particularly if you go via the high street so once I was assured that weather conditions would be favourable to the game going ahead I had no hesitation to setting off for the game despite the low key nature of the competition.

The County Cups are surely an idea that should be consigned to the dustbin of history. They have been eclipsed by virtually every other competition and I would suggest that with so few teams in this one (12) that it be relegated to a pre/early season tournament so its out of the way before the real stuff begins. It could be finished in two weeks and allow the more senior teams to try out youngsters and fringe players with the real incentive of making a bid for regular first team football at the start of the season. Also most of the competing teams play each other preseason anyway, this way an admission charge is justified.

Maidenhead won the game as comfortably as the 5-1 scoreline suggests although there were a few jitters when Marlow took the lead through Adam Dickens. United's quick response through Kieron St. Aimie and a Cliff Akurang hat trick reflected their seniority and it was a surprise that only Lee Barney added to the score once the game was as good as won, certainly the youngster's freakish goal capped the evening as those of us behind the goal were presented with a rueful smile from goalkeeper Watkins as the ball sailed over his head into the net. After his mercifully short spell at York Road it was good to see the Magpies on the receiving end of his munificence.

Piping Mad

2011-01-23T12:46:00.000Z

Yesterday's game at York Road was somewhat overshadowed by the midweek theft of the club's hot water system which not only threatened to add to the long list of postponements caused by the bad weather but also added a hefty bill to add to the financial problems caused by the loss of revenue from lucrative games against the likes of Farnborough and Woking which were casualties of the winter weather recently.

A shame as the game was entertaining one, Thurrock finishing on top thanks to their usual up tempo approach and clinical finishing. David Olima scored the pick of the goals with his late strike for the Essex club's third which sealed the points, but the other two were also notable for being well worked goals created by man of the match Matt Bodkin. At the other end Joe Woolley made a crucial save from Marcus Rose when the score was one nil, which following an Ashley Smith shot which hit the crossbar proved sufficient to keep his team's lead and withstand the Magpies comeback with a penalty from Kieron St. Aimie.

All credit to the new Thurrock management team for turning the club around with three straight wins following the departure of Greg Lincoln after thirteen goals were shipped over the New Year weekend. Maidenhead meanwhile are left with a County Cup game on Tuesday night to revive their fortunes.

A Neologism

2011-01-17T20:02:00.002Z

Liverpool are the new Newcastle United

Jimmy Jimmy

2011-01-16T18:18:00.001Z

Yet another blank Saturday for the Magpies so I opted to join a friend with a Reading season ticket on the road to Doncaster to take up the offer of a bargain £15 entry price at Rovers. Travelling up the M1 it felt like legions of football fans were on the march as we passed coaches and cars bearing the favours of Oxford United, Leeds United, Stevenage, Hull City and Newport County.

Doncaster's Keepmoat Stadium like most out of town grounds is handily placed for the motorway with plenty of parking in the adjacent industrial area. The ground is next to a shopping outlet centre which was cunningly situated to draw us towards the ground only to find there was no way to access it. One detour later, we arrived at the stadium. Set in the midst of manmade grassy knolls and lakes, its a one tier version of the identikit all seater all covered wraparound stadia which are now common in the UK. Its stand out feature is the floodlights, which unlike most other new grounds which simply bolt the lights onto the roof, are mounted on mini pylons in the European style familiar to anyone who used to play Subbuteo.

The away end is entered through the usual breeze block cavern containing food, drink and gambling outlets. With a strong wind blowing we opted for shelter before taking our seats just before kick off. This gave us the opportunity to discover that the "club that plays the best football in the division" as boasted about in the programme, is based on a philosophy that permeates the club even down to the humble drinks kiosk operative.

Having worked out that alcohol was cheaper than the pastry wrapped offerings, I asked for two half litre bottles of lager and was amazed at the teamwork on display. Two staff remained still as they were in charge of pouring beer, one took the bottles out of the fridge, handed them to the supervisor (as designated by his suit and tie) who removed the caps before handing them to the cashier for exchanging with me for £6.

This tea bar teamwork foreshadowed the game's opening stages which was dominated by the home team, a three man central defence allowing the full backs to lap the midfield and support the lone striker. The intricate interplay couldn't quite fashion a decent chance though and once Reading found their rhythm and tempo, they took charge. Hitherto having settled for hopeful punts up the right wing to the Royal playmaker Jimmy Kebie, Reading took the lead with a quick move via the same route which instead took the terrestrial option.

A sharp interception by Jobi McAnuff was followed by a sharp pass to Kebie who played a perfectly timed through ball for Shane Long to run onto, collect and score. A very strong wind threatened to spoil the game but apart from making Neil Sullivan look a bit foolish when his kick outs blew into touch, it mattered little.

Reading dominated the second half, Kebie doubling the lead with a similar move to the one that broke the deadlock, only this time the Mali international scored himself with an exquisite lob as Sullivan found himself struck in no man's land. Doncaster seemed to abandon hope at this point, throwing on all their subs, reverting to a more conventional 4-4-2 set up and their day was summed up when a Matt Kilgallon clearance was deflected into the net by McAnuff. This prompted a mass walk out by the Rovers fans, whilst the travelling Royals hailed their leader Brian McDermott who "used to manage Slough but he's a Royal now".

The Football League's greatest names

2011-01-16T16:42:00.001Z

1. Sammy Clingan - sounds like someone out of Star Trek
2. Angel Rangel - it rhymes
3. Nyron Nosworthy - great alliteration